alex.lin

Finals Anticipation

2011-05-27T07:25:00.000-07:00

(Yes, I wish I made this)

The series is set: Mavs and Heat.

After watching the Mavs' close out game on Wednesday while engineering a swift and determined comeback, the same outcome showed on Thursday when Lebron quietly roared back to win in the closing seconds of game 5. The similarities of how both teams took care of their opponents in 5 games: requiring an overtime for the game 4's and overcoming a deficit in the close out game - undoubtedly reflects a twist of fate for both teams.

Let the best team win. I can't hide my own uneasiness

about the way that the Heat were constructed last summer and overnight became anointed as the best team to watch. No disrespect towards Wade, Lebron and CB for their sacrifice to take a pay cut in order to win championships, I immediately cringed at the hype and excessive coverage that this team was getting. Like any fan, there's an innate feeling that every team should somehow earn its way or go through struggles to win a championship; this is especially salient in a dynasty-driven league where very few teams have an opportunity to play in the championship, let alone win a title.

Honestly, I would have love to see the Bulls advance, not because of my aversion for the Heat, but I prefer to see two fully developed and collective-oriented teams play each other. Understandably, Rose is a one-man machine playing for a team that's one short of a dependable scorer, but the variety of matchups is a NBA fans galore. The Lebron mix and match against Dirk and Marion is compelling, but watching the Mavs play the Bulls would have been on par to a college basketball matchup. I'll stop there since there's no reason to complain about something that won't happen in the future, but it will be hard to contain my excitement that will unfold in the coming weeks. No doubt, watching these games will be hard as I will bleed tears and sweat at every possession and shot. Despite the fact that both teams took care of their opponents in 5 games, the scores were too close to have any confidence that one team has a decisive advantage over the other. Unfortunately, the NBA season is excruciatingly long and tortuous to go through even as a fan watching by the sidelines; but, it shows that the victor achieved a well earned effort to get there.

I won't put too much stock into the fact that the Mavs swept the Heat this year given the fact that the Heat were also dominated by the Bulls in the regular season.

But..

No surprise here, I predict Mavs in 6.

A game 7 in Miami would spell doom for the Mavs, which is why I'm convinced that the Mavs should try to not allow the series to go that far. With the way that the playoff is formatted, I argue that not having home court advantage is beneficial to the Mavs. Although in theory it's hard, the Mavs just need to steal one game and they can relax knowing that they have a decisive advantage playing the next three at home. Or in the worst case scenario, losing both game homes in Miami may be a scary thing for the Mavs but still having that 3 home game cushion can easily turn the series around- no need to remind you that this was the way that the Heat were able to climb back from a 2-0 deficit to win the 2006 series. This will be a crazy series and an appropriate way to end what has so far been an entertaining playoff story where the giants (Lakers, Spurs and Celts) were finally vanquished.

Go Mavericks! (don't hate on them just because of Terry, who I admit is a pest, but at least they got a loveable underdog in Barea)

~LeX

Chromebook: Buy or Sell??

2011-05-25T10:30:00.000-07:00

With the Chromebooks set for release on June 15^th, I couldn’t help but seize my interest in this new Google powered technology. I’m not hesitant to admit that I’ve incorporated nearly every aspect of my life with Google: email, calendar, talk, document, chat and even tasks (which has singlehandedly gotten me through grad school)- although, I did succeed in avoiding the disastrous and overhyped Google wave. If you haven’t heard about it, the Chromebook is simply a less robust laptop. The caveat is that’s been stripped from a software based interface and hard drive. What does this mean? It means that all of its operations rely on the web. All of the Google services that you normally access through the web are now the key components to the Chromebook. In theory this is a more convenient measure because anything you create on your laptop will be instantly saved through some remote server. Thus, in the unfortunate event of losing or breaking your laptop, you can buy a new Chromebook and all your stuff will be instantaneously restored.

Guided Tour: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HzNn3YKbvR4&feature=relmfu
Chromebook OS: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hJ57xzo287U&playnext=1&list=PL1FF729C4BCDAC639

Chromebook Hands On: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c7TqbeF0jfw

The lack of physical space is an interesting conundrum. While it is cool to have a much lighter laptop, where are you going to put all your music, videos and pictures? This information was noticeably missing from Google. Although it is likely that Google will address this issue as the product is nearing release, I can’t help but feel a sense of suspicion. The idea of purchasing songs and videos from iTunes, then transferring it some web space seems to infringe on some serious copyright issues. What would prevent people from recklessly sharing their songs and video publicly (ie peer to peer sharing, Torrents, etc.)? I doubt that Google would entertain any possibility for this, which leads me to think that Chromebook may be seriously limited to office productivity without any real potential for media usage. With this important flaw in mind, I can’t see any way that this laptop will thrive or even compete with the iPad. Other than that, I think some people will be attracted to the productivity aspect of being able to save everything on the Web or rejoice in being able to express their anti-Apple sentiments.

This leads me to my next point and that’s my mini campaign for this free software called Dropbox. After my roommate introduced this to me, I never imagined that such an unassuming little tool could change a lot of things that I do online. Basically it serves as a webspace for all your stuff that can be accessed through multiple computers. Yes, I’ve heard of Mediafire, 4shared and all these other file sharing tools, but this is a much more seamless way of connecting your files as everything is easily accessible through your desktop. Since I’ve been doing some consulting work on the side for this nonprofit, it’s been especially helpful for me to be able to share and exchange my files without having to drive out to LA and meet with them. Now I almost save everything on Dropbox, although word of caution it only has a capacity of up to 2 gbs (9.99/mnth to upgrade to 50gb). With the delicate times of being able to lose your work so easily, I can’t stress how important it is to backup and over backup your stuff.

So with the advent of Chromebook, I think Dropbox provides a good alternative if you want to retain your laptop and cherish the idea of being able to save your stuff seamlessly online.

Mavs Hysteria

2011-05-18T11:09:00.000-07:00

On the heels of watching my favorite team (insert obvious team name) play their hearts out yesterday, I couldn’t help but recap on what has been and will continue to be an important run through the playoffs. It would be a strange tale of irony if the only two teams that I followed, both reached title gold after not experiencing their champions in my lifetime. But this year, could be the year and the only year. I can only be cautious about my hopes about the Mavs this year to not add any unnecessary jinx. After all, those hopes were dashed after the Mavs title run in 2006 after watching a 2-0 lead with a 15 point edge in the 3^rd quarter slip away in the closing minutes of game 3.

This year’s playoff has been quirky, interesting, and ultimately, trend-setting for the years to come. Call it a changing of the guards as the Lakers, Spurs or Celtics are not somewhere in the conference finals mix for the first time in 14 years. Being an NBA fan for such a long time, that never really occurred to me until I realized how long ago that Jordan won his 6^th champions and all the said teams were either irrelevant or its rebuilding phase. The Thunder and Bulls obviously represent the new bloods in the league. Superstars like Durant, Westbrook and Rose, the torchbearers for the league have not even reached 25 yet. In some ways since that fateful title run in 2006, the Heat have been mired in early playoff exits. Not until this year when the “Decision” was made that the Heat suddenly became the darlings or force to be reckoned with this year. So in some ways it is refreshing for all fans alike to see the Mavs become the spokesmen for the older established generation. Dirk is a throwback from an earlier time, one of the few in a short list with Kobe and Duncan (Wade about to join that group) to be a career mainstay for the team. Along with Dirk, the rest of his cast are almost old enough to be the dads of their opponents. At 38, Jason Kidd has transcended the possibility of an NBA player stretching past the usual 8-10 years. I wouldn’t say that he’s on the brink of complete old man excellence like Favre, but his stature in continuing to playing a starting role for the team is nothing short of remarkable. I don’t even need to go further down the list to emphasize this point; there’s still Marion, Peja and JET who were integral in the Suns-Kings-Mavs tandem that dominated the Western conference yesteryears.

Where do we place Dirk in the spectrum of NBA greats? Yes, he’s successfully been anointed the greatest European player of all time, although he may someday be the best foreign player of all time depending if he can catch up with the legacy of Olajuwon or arguably Duncan (a fervent debate hinging on considering the Virgin Islands to be a non-US territory) He’s already solidified his title of being the best shooting 7 footer of all time, which may not mean much if we wanted to compare him to the likes of Rasheed, Bargnani or Troy Murphy. But say he doesn’t win it all this year (or ever), does his stock continue to hover or rise above the Barkleys, Malone, Ewings that never won it all? A tragedy for a player that can’t possibly be asked to do more with his ridiculous playoff career average of 25 and 11. At 33, Dirk has one of those unique skill sets that prevent him from having a short NBA career. Unlike those high flying guards ie Wade, Kobe and Lebron, he’s able to prolong his shelf life by not having to drive recklessly down the lane; rather, he’s perfected the off the wrong leg- fade away jumper with little effort. In fact, last night’s game seems to disprove the logic of needing to be a body into the paint as he still went to the line 24 times. During the regular season this year he still managed to put up 23 a game while improving his shooting to 50% and nearing Nash-like levels of 50-40-90. So in short, it’s not like the window of opportunity is closing in soon but Dirk represents that rare quality of talent that I think troubles a lot of NBA analysts on where to place among players in NBA history.

I realize that it is still premature to write the Thunder series off or even to entertain the thought that the Mavs will win it all this year. Although the Mavs came out with a win, I think Thunder fan should still be confident that this is going to be a long drawn out series. No way will Westbrook replicate the dismal numbers from last night and Barea putting up another 21 points (who by the way is the Cody Ross of the team, which I say this from a physical appearance and productive standpoint). I’m firm in my belief that this will be a 6 game series with the Mavs not a long ways from seeing Dirk put up another impressive night like last night. As a Mavs fan, I’m hopeful that the Bulls advance. Not just because of the aforementioned 2006 fiasco involving the Heat, but I think the playing styles for both teams really complement each other. Noah actually poses the biggest problem for Dirk out of anybody in the league except, dare I say, Captain Jack who coordinated one of the biggest 1-8 seed upset in history. But I won’t let myself get too far and just watch how these playoff games will unfold in the next four to five weeks.

Reflections on Eliminating Osama Bin Laden

2011-05-11T10:36:00.000-07:00

The moment has appropriately served as a bookend for our nation's history, from one end is 9/11/01 that was marked by perhaps one of the greatest tragedies in America's history and now nearly a decade later (a few months short of September 11th) has fittingly saw the end of the man who perpetuated this travesty. You'd be surprised to hear how the news was brokered to me. That Sunday night, I was so holed up in my little office crunching numbers on my netbook that I failed to even take a glimpse at the news. Surely headlines that the most wanted man for nearly a decade would have got to me sooner than my prior discovery that a little girl near Kate Middleton was making a funny face for one of the official wedding pictures. But I got a phone call from my roommate that "Bin Laden was killed yesterday and Obama's making the speech on CNN" which suddenly made my little assignments at hand seem irrelevant. Within minutes, my gf called to report the same news which was a sign that I needed to hold my work off for an indeterminable time so I could catch up with the rest of the world.

The manner in which the operation occurred was swift, clean and precise. No Navy Seals member involved were hurt or killed. It's about the smallest and most covert mission that could ever be executed in U.S. history, yet the implications are historic. Osama's defining characteristic was his amorphous, yet mythological legacy; his ability to pass through geographic borders seamlessly while broadcasting threats to singlehandedly take down the United States and rally extreme Islamists in believing his cause. Those Al-Jazeer videos filmed his messages of hate and revenge while he preached in front of a backdrop of rocks; our country watching these videos with intrigue trying to understand the translation from a badly dubbed voice over. Since Osama launched 9/11, our country fought to find and kill this man under intelligence that was largely filled with doubts on his whereabouts or even any confirmed sightings. Thus, what became the primary infiltrator to 9/11 could have been a figment of our imagination or a temporary placeholder to a perceived national threat. Who knows if he died long before the war occurred? For myself, I was starting to grapple with the reality that the attacks on the World Trade Center was largely a faceless enemy. In moments of national hysteria, it makes sense that human nature deludes us into irrational ways of identifying the enemy.

The news that our own military forces saw Osama with their own eyes, surprised and perhaps alleviated my concerns more than the actual killing itself.

It's indisputable that the illusionary relationship between Osama and Obama could be easily created by the media and society. Conveniently, they share almost the same namesake separated by one defining, yet critical letter; a "b" or an "s". Also, add to questions about Obama's birthplace and his alleged Muslim affiliation. Thus it serves as a compelling story that Obama, not George W. Bush or Clinton, finished the job. Already there is whispers that this was purely a political move to advance his reelection campaign, which will be discussed vehemently in the not too distant future. Here, I'm just trying to resist myself from blindly absorbing the biased narrative shaped by the media in defining this historic moment.

I alluded to the bookends earlier to convey my point that the war on terror started with 9/11 and the subsequent invasion to Iraq and Afghanistan and now should end with eliminating the man responsible. To not honor this course of action is to diminish the importance of what our operations on May 2nd sought to do. The debate still lingers on to sustain or scale our Middle East forces, and this event will surely propel the issue to the forefront of our political agenda. Thus, I'm hopeful that a resolution will be deliberated in the weeks to come. Alas, I do feel a sense of patriotism and optimism that we've achieved progress on the war of terror.

May 2nd, 2011 holds significance and will hopefully be enshrined in our consciousness as we set out to make important decisions regarding this critical region.

~LeX

Cutting for Stone

2011-04-21T08:52:00.000-07:00

Cutting for Stone: Abraham Verghese

"We come unbidden into this life, and if we are lucky we find a purpose beyond starvation, misery, and early death which, lest we forget, is the common lot."

I was initially struck in how an author could pore the details of an excruiating surgical procedure in a downtrodden Mumbai hospital with a level of poetic artistry; this causing me to stand idly by at the bookshelf while waiting for my girlfriend to finishing using the store's bathroom. Not being versed in any medical terms, I was still compelled by the story. The author who is a Stanford professor with years of surgical experience showed his expertise in applying minute incisions in choosing every detail and word to fully flesh out the story that unfolded before me. Although there is an abundance of details in accounting for cutting, removing, slicing various human organs; Verghese somehow interweaves a beautiful story of humanity that touches on the overpowering emotions of love and jealousy. The author is Indian and his culture seeps into every device used to narrate the story; a breath of fresh air for anybody, especially me, in learning the Indian form of storytelling. As I write this, it's difficult to do justice to the author in capturing the complexities and various layers undergirding the story. Not only is it intellectually rich in describing the vast array of medical terminology requiring the reader to sit through medical school but Verghese has an amazing capacity to fully contextualize the third world poverty and political unrest nested in Ethiopia.

The story starts with the birth of twins, their conception originating from an unplanned encounter between a world renowned British surgeon and an Indian nun working as his assistant. However, the surgeon who is confronted with the challenge of delivering his only sons must also embrace the delicate task of separating the twins from being conjoined at the head. In an interesting way, the main character, Marion (one of the sons) is narrating this experience (and throughout the rest of the book) of being detached from his brother's head. So from the outset of their birth, the twins have developed a permanent bond extending beyond a familial brotherly relationship as they are inextricably linked as one and the same person.

"Impending death had a way of unexpectedly unearthing the past so that it came together with the present in an unholy coupling."

"Life is like that. You live it forward but understand in backward"

It’s difficult to explore all the themes that the author touches on, not only because of the sheer number, but the fact that the gritty reality confronting the characters of the story makes it difficult to distinguish if these were themes intentionally laid out by the author. Of course love is the most salient theme underpinning the story since it is able to unify the characters despite their geographic distance and political circumstances. A love triangle is formed when the twins try to pursue a family friend. Their love for this girl carries all the way to the end as their envy detonates their relationship. Additionally, Marion is coming to grips with a father that abandoned him at birth and must piece together of why he did so. But lastly everything comes into full circle as the reader is treated to the ultimate illustration of love that develops between the dying breaths of Marion and his brother. I admit that this is one of the hardest book reviews that I’ve done given that the book is so well written that I’m cautious about not being able to do justice to the author. But it has a gripping story in addition to the rich and intricate details that the author uses to weave the characters with the range of locations spanning continents.

Tales Of My Own Tiger Mother

2011-03-23T14:29:00.001-07:00

Reading the book provoked my own experiences about my upbringings. I definitely can relate to the book about living under the auspices of a tiger mother and tiger father, I should add. My mother was and still is a violin teacher and my dad, a Chemistry professor. Here I'll focus on the tiger mother, while perhaps saving my stories of the tiger father for another day. No, I didn't quite have the severe episodes of my mother holding my stuffed animals hostage and burning them if I didn't practice violin. Much like what Chua spoke about the Asian child's absence of choice in their future hobbies, my fate was already sealed. You could almost say that the day I held a baby rattle in my hand, I was ready to grasp the icy metallic handle of a violin bow.

The violin - the symbol of grace and culture with its power of forging hundreds of years of Western renaissance, yet has its disciplining mechanisms.

Not only was the instrument capable of producing the most beautiful and vivid sound, it became shackles for my ankles. I never realized that I would be tied to the violin for the next eight years. The violin which felt like a chore, no less than a routine; the practices were as natural as clearing the table, breathing or going to bed. It was inextricably linked to anything that was required to do at home.

Add to that, my mom had dozens of students to teach other than myself. I remember all the students that stayed at our house to take lessons from my mom. While my mom had one student practicing in the living room, usually a sibling would wait for their turn in my bedroom. I became friends with alot of them, given that we were around the same age bracket. Stories were exchanged about how my mom made them suffer. The clock in my room served to quantify the amount of time left before undergoing the punishment or treatment. Nobody could fathom how I could survive as the teacher's son. When their parents came to pick them up, I would be standing next to my mom as she went over the day's lesson. The smiles and laughter from the parents as they suggested how lucky I was to have free lessons and the opportunity to become the best performer. With a shaky smile, it was a further reminder of why my mom couldn't let me be mediocre. As the son of a violin teacher, I had some tall shoes to fill.

Chua described the daily four to five hours of practice, which doesn't sound too far off from my own experiences. Hunched over the music stand, I was determined to not let my mother down. However, I was no music prodigy by any means. There were people in my music class that had that extra umph, that I couldn't quite categorize or internalize into my own repertoire. It was so natural for them, yet I always felt an extra wall or barrier that I couldn't mentally and physically overcome. But my mother never lost faith in me and even if I did possess such deficiency, she was determined that I would will myself through those things.

As with any fledgling performer, my mom would drag me into countless competitions and recitals to showcase my talents. I wasn't petrified by the experience of playing in front of a large audience, but it would be the short glances at my mother and her disappointed face that made me doubtful about winning. Nevertheless, my mother insisted that I continued to aspire towards the big prize and achieve first chair in the symphony.

As the years went by and not gaining the acclaim that my mother hoped to receive, my confidence started to wither along with my interest in playing. The point of competing against these prodigies and world class performers was lost. I was always stuck somewhere in the middle of the pack, hoping that very few would know that I was the violin teacher's son. The daily practices persisted and the drudgery of playing the violin was as mechanical as grinding rocks with a shovel. I was deaf to the broad range of intonations and sounds produced by the violin.

My mother continued to hover around me shouting to correct my slouching, put more force on the strings, adagio, fortissimo, and so on. The scratchy sounds of the bow clashing with the wiry strings was indistinguishable from the cackle of my mom's voice. With no energy or consciousness left to finish playing a piece, I wanted to stop playing. From the sounds of Vivaldi that filled the room to this dead silence, my mom looked at me quizzically. I told my mom that I didn't want to play anymore, although I wasn't sure if I meant forever. Acknowledging that the time was already 9 pm and this was the time that I usually told my mom that I was too tired to play, she calmly told me to play a few more times. But for once I wanted a say in the matter. Instead of providing any good reasons, I just laid on the couch messing around while my mom eyed my next move. Not seeing where this was going to go, my mom told me to play two or more times and I could go to sleep. Stubborn, I insisted that I did not want to play anymore. With each instance of my own rebelliousness, tension continued to escalate. Asking me one last time to play, I adamantly refused. With one swift movement, my mom grabbed the bow that was in my hands and slapped it across my right calf; the bow vaporizing into oblivion. No words left my mouth as tears saltied my lips. I ran to my mom's bathroom to survey the damage done. Returning to the living room, my mom stood like a rock in the same spot next to my music stand. Without even exchanging a glance at me, she told me to continue after handing me her own bow. I complied and played the final piece, while playing over the mistakes that I previously made. I went to bed still replaying the moment in my head. My mom went upstairs, while not aware if I was awake or not, kissed me on the forehead and said "I'm sorry."

It was shocking that not even a scratch or stain of blood could be found on my leg. But the extent to how I was raised to play the violin will endure for the rest of my life. Ultimately, I quit as a junior in high school after moving back to the United States. The conversation wasn't dramatic or compelling to report here, as my mom knew that my time was already occupied by academics. But reading the book, brought some similar, yet painful memories for me. Like what Chua mentioned, a child sometimes have to be given something that they don't necessarily like and allowed to struggle. From that moment I've never lost my love for music, even classical music. Although I've essentially lost a significant portion of my violin skills, I credit my mom for fueling a passion for music that I will stubbornly refuse to let go for my future children.

~LeX

Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother

2011-03-20T18:21:00.000-07:00

Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother- Amy Chua

(3.0/5.0)

You've heard about the Tiger Mother. The story has been broken into most of the news outlets, including the Time's front page and a spot on the Colbert Report. Why the intense coverage? China's meteoric rise and its education system outperforming the U.S. in every academic indicator. But this is a memoir of one Asian mother struggling to raise her children within the crossfire of two paradoxical cultures as a result of her marriage to her Western husband. She's no ordinary Asian mother as she boasts a very impressive resume that she hardly glosses over. (Yale law professor after graduating from Harvard and Yale law school, with sisters and a father that are no strangers to the Ivy League club). In sum, the memoir is about her experiences of being a Chinese mother and enforcing Chinese values so that her daughters can achieve world class greatness playing the piano and violin. However, her views about Chinese and Western values is what makes her parenting story so compelling.

In entering Chua's world of parenting, anybody raised in an non-Asian way must embrace themselves for the shock factor. The parent has the right to compare their children explicitly even when it's in their own face. With her two daughters, Chua emphasized that she would constantly let her younger daughter know that she was inferior to the older one in every way. In contrary to telling kids that they're somehow "special" in their own way, every child must aspire towards being the next Einstein or Mozart. In some way this allowed Chua to call her daughter "garbage" in her face at the dinner table. In fact, Chua emphasized that this was not any sort of metaphorical garbage, just straight up trash that's too disgusting to even tolerate with. A concept that the author raised is the notion that children are infinitely indebted to the parents. There's no leeway or moment that the child can begin to question their parent's authority. She highlighted the prevalence of TV shows that promote the child's wiliness of being able to one up their parents, while making them look like fools. Whenever her kids did anything to defy her authority, she let all hell break loose. Every little instance describing Chua's conflict with her kids involved the terms battleground, tactics, screaming match, arsenal, war - and mind you, we are talking about Tuesday's violin lesson. This illustrating the extent to Chua's willingness to instill her Chinese values.

The real underlying theme here is that Chua wants her children to succeed with no expenses spared. For her daughter's music lesson, she would hire the best tutors and take two hour commutes so that they could get quality education. Of course it was in the living room where the daughters would labor for five hours a day while Chua would relentlessly criticize their performances. Why spend the tireless energy on her daughters when it was clear that they were openly unhappy? Chua explained that at a young age, they can never learn to enjoy a musical instrument. Too many parents from the West give up, while not letting their child struggle. So in some ways, the term of this mother living vicariously through her daughters cannot be overstated.

Although Chua is perceived as deranged and a vicious Chinese mother, there are some human qualities worth noting. She admits that being a Chinese mother and indoctrinating her daughters with these historically rooted Confucian values is challenging, if not an impossible feat to accomplish in a autonomous country like the U.S. But throughout her story, she confesses that she's willing to be hated as a mother. Love in the Chinese culture isn't what we normally see here. Love is not immediate or instantly gratified. From the Chinese point of view, love is labored over an extended period of time. In fact, the child may not ever get a glimpse of their parent's affections even throughout their lifetime. In contrary to the Western conception of love, children are unconditionally treated with hugs and words of encouragement. Chua's view is that her love as a mother may not be revealed openly all the time and she's willing to accept it. Love should be viewed myopically, when the child can reflect how their achievements were built as a result of their parents' labor of love.

The book is written totally from the perspective of an honest, yet maddeningly passionate parent bent on making sure that her parents succeed. Chua takes no middle ground on life as she is only capable of seeing things as black or white, or in this case Chinese or Western. She doesn't apologize to anybody or see the point of being politically correct. Like her rigorous profession as a law professor, Chua doesn't take parenting lightly and this line captures it nicely:

Chinese parenting is one of the most difficult things I can think of. You have to be hated sometimes by someone you love and who hopefully loves you, and there's just no letting up, no point at which it suddenly becomes easy.

These are certainly words of wisdom that I think is worth instilling for any parent. There's no easy formula when it comes to parenting and nothing pans out quite as conveniently with a happy ending like the families that we see in The Brady Bunch or Wonder Years. From the book I caught a deep and personal insight from a mother not necessarily preaching what is strictly the Chinese way, but a labor of love that goes beyond her fullest capacities. Although it would be interesting someday when we heard about the kid's story and how they dealt with their tiger mom with some suggested titles like "Under the Roof of a Tiger Mother" or "Message to Child Services: Please Protect Us From the Chinese Way."

~LeX

My Heart Goes Out to Japan

2011-03-16T08:38:00.000-07:00

The tragedy that has unfolded from Japan has really struck a chord in my heart. It's one thing to hear about Haiti and the devastation that occurred, but another when a disaster hits an area that was once considered home to me. Living there in 2007 unmistakably brought joy into my life. Although I tried to integrate into the Japan culture as much as I could, I was more shaped by the life experiences that it gave me. It's easy to speak in single minded terms about the Japanese people who are perceived to be disciplined, hardworking and cooperative. But in some ways, those characteristics rubbed on me. In fact, what I've mentioned is a ray of hope for the global community wondering how long before the crisis will be somewhat averted, and that's the persistence of the Japanese people. It will take time, but I've never been more amazed about how their collective juices will eventually be used to restore the country's glory.

I still have alot of friends and family living in Japan, Tokyo specifically, where it's only an Orange County to San Diego distance from the earthquake battered parts of the north. And more troubling, its closeness to the site where three nuclear reactors, including one more has generated unprecedented concerns about radiation spread. The reality for this densely packed metropolitan can only be imagined. I still recall my favorite routes and train lines that I took to get home and my workplace- routines so engraved in me that I could go back and forth with my eyes closed. Yet, even in the midst of these regular travel I would always have something new to look forward to. Plowing through the hustle and bustle of businessmen getting to work on the dot, I would typically encounter clusters of unique and quirky locals. Sometimes it would be the random vendor selling a warm box of takoyaki (grilled octopus) while braving the cold air. Or the young high school grad waiting outside the train station to hand you a free package of tissue paper that eventually comes in handy the minute you remembered that your hand's been attracting all of the human germs accumulating on the subway seats. I can't imagine what it's like now. There's warnings heard, ubiquitously, throughout the city to stay home and indoors. Reports of Tokyo being a ghost town is still a hard thing for me to realize. The spirit and life sucked out of this city in a matter of minutes. Who knows how long this will be sustained.

Yes, it may be true that the Japanese culture is devoid of emotions, propelled by the notion that to lose "face" is perhaps worse than death itself. I found this to be irritating that people were not allowed to show frustration or even genuine sadness. Often I wondered to myself if people would ever be given the freedom to reveal their emotions. But in the wake of this tragedy, maybe that's a good thing since there's no place for people to hide their emotions. There's no doubt that the people can no longer escape the sense of despair lingering in the air.

I can only hope and pray that the situation will not get worse. Every incoming piece of news about a potential health scare or condition is an arrow to the heart. My worst fear is that we may be only in the beginning stages of this crisis. It's impossible to anticipate what will happen in the following months, if not years. Haiti, which may seem like an afterthought is still very much a prominent concern given that the country is still dealing with a chloera outbreak that continues to infect people by the minute and has yet to be controlled. But now we're dealing with a radiation disaster that is still in its early stages and its ramifications may reach beyond what we can possibly imagine. It's easy to take for granted what we have everyday and I'm guilty of it. But an event reaching catastrophic levels and beyond our own control is a testament to life's fragility.

~LeX

The Help: A Novel

2011-03-07T15:18:00.000-08:00

The Help: A Novel - Kathryn Stockett

(3.0 / 5.0)

[2009] From the outset of this book, I was apprehensive when I saw that it was narrated with words such as ain't, reckon and a host of misspelled words (like Law help me!). As a self-proclaimed snob for properly articulated words, I felt like I was holding a book for slow people. But I was compelled by the story to keep moving on. It didn't take much into the story before it dawned on me why the book was written in such a way. This is a period piece that draws on the experiences of middle aged African American maids working in the white homes of Jackson,Mississippi. And going back to my point about my perception of the narrator speaking like a slow person illustrates the brilliance of this book: to understand the prevalence of racism in the South. Now, I felt like an ignorant person, only realizing the remnants of racism ingrained in my own assumptions.

The story brings us back to a time where racism, explicit as the sun, was a fixture in society. An unthinkable period where everybody genuinely believed that Blacks carried a disease and should be quarantined into their own bathrooms and facilities. This is the 1960s and a precursor to the Civil Rights Movement. We're talking about life situations where people would be judged by their skin color with no sense of shame.

Of course, this unspeakable rage and injustice doesn't quite stir the Black maids into loud protests. In fact, the author does a masterful job of abiding by the context of these characters. These are simple maids with low jobs of polishing the silverware and making sure that the house is tidy for their White family and guests. They would prefer that justice be restored in the world, but it's just not possible given their low stature in society. But this is where the suspense lies, the fact that these maids possessing little power can enact change that makes society more accepting of their racial heritage. And it starts with the little things. I never failed to realize the power that these Black maids are given when they are the lifelong care taker for their employer's babies. Indeed a baby, even though he or she is white, is at an impressionable age of not seeing the racial injustice that exists in the world. This highlights one of the interesting themes in the story, how Aibleen, the Black maid, develops a strong relationship with Mae Mobley and teaches her about the importance of being colorblind.

If I haven't provided enough reasons to read this book then the external circumstances surrounding the book should be convincing. In the story, the Black maids (Aibleen and Minny) were able to share their stories of injustice with an insider, a White girl, who is a journalist. The white girl, Skeeter, concerned with their blight wanted to help these maids by publishing their stories and helping others become aware about these social inequities. However, much to the chagrin of Aibleen and Minny, they are hesitant about having their story published for fear that their identity would be discovered. If you've been following the story with the author, Kathryn Stockett, she's experiencing a similar fate. As a white woman, she relied on the experiences of former Black maids to piece together the story and realism for this book. But with the publicity that the book generated, Stockett's former maid was upset about the close likeness of herself with the Aibleen character and slammed the author with a lawsuit. Aside from this interesting tidbit, there's no reason why I need to convince you about reading this book (New York Bestseller for 88 weeks with a movie in the works). I usually try to avoid picking up these flash in the pan books that dominate bestseller's lists, but at heart there's literary merit that should not be missed.

~LeX

Sigh.. The Self Destruction of the Human Race

2011-03-07T08:45:00.000-08:00

I wanted to report something disturbing that didn't necessarily happen to me, but to a person close to me. For anonymity sake, I will refer the person as Jaime. One day, not too long ago, Jaime was waiting in the cashier line at Costco with her shopping cart. Through the madness that usually ensues when people often try to position their carts into the front of the line while confused by the clear lack of demarcations of which lane corresponds to the cashier, Jaime's cart was slightly in the way of another cart. A man standing next to his wife, in the hopes of trying to rush his way through the front, asked very rudely to Jaime to move her cart out of the way. In the cacophony of noise, Jaime turned around and asked the guy to repeat himself. Without any hesitation the man angrily told her to move her cart and to go back to her flipping (of course, not the exact words that he used) country.

Yes, this post as you have already imagined is about the lack of human decency that still troubles me. Although this didn't quite happen to me, I couldn't help but put my feet into Jaime's shoes. Everybody, including yours truly, has experienced the truly chaotic battleground that is Costco. It's a one stop shop for practically everything, whether it's picking up your groceries, browsing books, waiting in line to get a drug sample cup of yogurt, children's play area, fitting new clothes, etc. Thus, it's no wonder that the sheer amount of people collectively engaging in all these activities and spilling all over the floor is a recipe for a disaster. Not to mention, that carts the size of Escalades are roaming the floor and is a physical danger to people of all size and shapes. You'd think that by now, stop signs and intersection signals would be put in order. So it's no surprise that stress and anxiety is built up collectively from all these shoppers and is bound to burst in cataclysmic fashion.

This brings me back to the disgruntled man and his poo poo mouth. Given the fact that I've just reiterated what everybody already knows about Costco, you'd figure that the man would have known better. But I wouldn't give him that benefit of the doubt because sometimes stupidity and evil still resides in the minds of people. It's not just having the thought that Jaime's cart was creating a blockade and this unexpected event apparently created strife in his day. But it's the notion that he's not even considering the context of where he is, yes I'm in a crowded and public area where everybody is accomplishing the same goal: to purchase what they need so they can go home. At the very least, we can assume that there's a filter somewhere in the deep recesses of our mind that ensures this sense of peace in our lives.

But of course, in the midst of having a shopping cart in his way, this would lead to the next logical step of telling Jaime to go back to her country. And you were right to assume that Jaime is indeed of Chinese heritage. Thanks for escalating this from an easily reparable problem to a now we're dealing with a clinically insane person. Just like any person in this situation, Jaime was frozen in the moment at the notion that such historically backwards thinking would suddenly manifest in present day Los Angeles. Mind you, we're not talking about being in the middle of Tennessee at the apex of the Civil Rights movement.

Okay, so this man has made his intent clear on starting a conversation about the Chinese claiming citizenship in this country. If we really wanted to play this man's game, do you really think that we would want to remind this man which country the United States is borrowing heavily from to avoid bankruptcy? Or to point to his clothes and items in the shopping cart to respectfully ask him which country manufactured them? As absurd as this sounds, my point is how does any reasonable person act accordingly in this situation? Sure, it's easy to think about some funny or insightful retort to the man after the fact. But in reflecting on the situation, would I really subject myself to the intelligence of this man so I can articulate my rights as a citizen and that I have the same amount of entitlement to this country than he does? Yeah, it would be fun to exercise my quick wit and make some snarky comment about his stupidity. With all these things at play, I think that this moment would have a petrifying effect on anybody, including myself.

Steering the Ship

2011-03-01T07:29:00.001-08:00

Reassuring myself and my fellow readers that this site will continue to thrive, even though I've experienced a severe lack of inspiration to blog. The urge still persists and fragments of idea float through my mind, but it fails to coalesce into something constructive to blog. Still struggling with the tension of steering this blog into a deeply personal territory, or merely finding some niche (like the proposed book review idea). I've read numerous books since my last post and I'm excited to share my thoughts. But this blog was intended to serve as a gateway into my soul. Life takes you into different directions and I've taken huge steps into higher echelons of maturity. Now that I've devoted my full energy and love to someone, it becomes intensely dangerous to allow too much of my private life to be exposed. Yet, sometimes the urges are still there to wander freely in this playground that I've created and sustained for well over five years. I sometimes wish I could be as free natured as other bloggers who seemingly can type away furiously in any undisclosed location, whether it's your local Starbucks, park or library, in the midst of a cacophony of noise and distraction. The experience for me is different. I have to physically force myself into a solitaire place, ensure that a good chunk of time is devoted without the distractions of school before I can devote my uninterrupted attention to this ordeal. I haven't written since the beginning of the year which is an aberration considering that I usually post my resolutions and goals. As far as my own personal goals are concerned, it's pretty nebulous and I have yet to measure myself in any way. But the goals in regards to my relationship is etched firmly in my mind and I'm embracing myself for some extremely life-changing transitions that cannot be captured by words alone. As time passes, I know that I will reveal these in strides. But no matter what, I'm still grateful that I have this space to defer to.

Welcome Booksneeze

2010-12-07T08:20:00.000-08:00

To supplement my love for books, I have agreed to review books generously given by the fine people at Book Sneeze. So don't perceive me as being a sellout, corporate shilling, or whatever related derogatory label, since I am in no way shape or form being paid to provide this service for them. I've been reviewing books periodically anyways and I figured that I could use my blog as a platform for struggling authors in need of promotion. As always, I will always share book reviews that I've been personally reading.

Giants fever

2010-11-02T18:04:00.001-07:00

On the morning after or hangover moment, whatever you may want to call it, the exhilaration of what the Giants did last night continues to linger. Although I’m cities away from San Francisco, a quick glance at my Facebook news today (and pretty much throughout the whole month), and I have a convincing reminder that my team finally did it. It’s exciting when the mainstream (ESPN and CNN) can finally propel conversations about the Giants in the national spotlight , instead of merely hearing it through Fox Bay Area. Not to mention, anything about the controversy remotely related to Bonds and the BALCO scandal. Granted it’s a bit tougher given the fact that I live in Dodgertown or Angels City, but the little world that I would try to habitat still revolves around the Giants.

Admittedly, I can’t profess that I’m a super hardcore Giants fan, as my interest slowly petered off at the tail end of that disappointing 2002 World Series bid, amidst the aftershocks stemming from the Bonds scandal and my various travels outside of the Bay Area. But I would continue to maintain some semblance of interest in the team’s progress as they would hover close around the cusp of the division, but not quite there. Moving back to Southern California, would strangely ignite a renewed interest in the team as I basked in the glory of exhibiting my Giants pride against a sea of blue and white enthusiasts. In fact, it was just a joy engaging in some harmless bets with my Dodger fans about which team would win the division and who gets to wear what jersey on their Facebook profile page.

In fact, this season, I only hoped for the Giants to have a better record than the Dodgers and Rockies. Indeed, it was apparent that we would have a pretty good season given that we had a great ten game start. But of course the wear and tear of the season would kick in, with the Giants pretty much fossilized within the NL West dogfight between the Dodgers, Rockies and now the upstart Padres. In fact, the Padres were now regarded as the team to beat as they had a sizeable lead in the West and would only add to my skepticism that the Giants could contend, let alone having to fend off the Dodgers and Rockies. Of course, fast forward to the season and the Giants, unbeknownst to the baseball world still obsessed with anything A-Rod and the surge of perfect games from a cadre of unbelievable pitchers, the Giants would build a momentum that would not just last through September, but through the final inning of the World Series. Certainly, that momentum would be partly helped by the colossal breakdown from the Padres as they went on a ridiculous ten game losing streak. Thus, the Giants were primed to take the division title as they would advance to the playoffs, and in my reserved optimism, that seemed good enough.

In fact, any win, let alone a series win, would amount to a bonus for the Giants as my expectations were still somewhat reserved. Like the typical assessment from baseball analysts, any progress that the Giants made (whether or not they won something) would be perceived as nothing less than “a cornerstone or stepping block” for next season. Although the Braves were somewhat a new bunch in the playoff picture and predicted to go down to the Giants, the Giants looked shaky as they beat them constantly by razor thin margins (1-0, 4-5, 3-2,3-2). Yet, watching the crowned favorites Phillies beat the Reds handily, didn’t do much to convince me that the Giants would need to pull off a miracle in order to not appear as a sacrificial lamb before meeting the American league champs. But despite all of the expert predictions, I never felt that sense of desperation or urgency as I watched how the Giants pretty much breezed past their last two opponents before winning it all. The team looked so confident as they opened with leads in nearly every game, while getting hits in the most opportune time.

Of course, the feeling most commonly heard is ‘Who are these guys?” And I don’t blame those fans who’ve grown accustomed to seeing Jeter and Pujols hoisting the trophy. But Posey, Huff, Ross lead a cast of eccentric, yet lovable players. Perhaps one of the most interesting things about this team is how they’ve disproved the moniker that experience wins games. How often do you see a pair of 23 years and under taking responsibility for leading a team on the grandest stage with Posey and Bumgarner? It seems that nothing could phase those guys, including Bumgarner who showed that he had ice in his vein through that ridiculous performance in game 4. But of course, we have the beard. If there were any nightmares and negative memories still lingering from the Giants loss against the Angels, it would have to be the dreaded call for the Rally monkeys. But alas this year, the call for "Fear the Beard” now has a more thunderous sound and will perhaps drown arenas for years to come. Wilson’s fearlessness at the plate is astounding and it’s about time that the guy gets recognition, regardless if he’ll be simply remembered as having the beard.

From a team vying for the division title, to entering into the conversation of pulling a possible upset against the national conference favorites: the Phillies and then gravitating towards being a World Series champion, has progressed so quickly, that I,like many other Giants fans have yet to soak in the moment. I mean, talk about a team that benefitted from having little expectations throughout the entire season, which perhaps explains why every loss held little impact, but every win and progress made in the playoffs felt like a bonus, frankly. Baseball is certainly all about timing and it’s true what they say about the champions not necessarily reflecting the best team throughout the year, but just during the month of October. But when you factor in, the Giants averaging the lowest ERA during the month of September, their run through the playoffs shouldn’t be too big of a surprise. Who knows what the future will hold next year and whether or not they’ll replicate this success. It may be a one and done thing, or we have a dynasty in the making. I have my reservations, given that the offseason offers plenty of time and more money to throw for the big guns like the Yankees and Red Sox to reload with ammunition. So I’m going to savor this moment and enjoy the acknowledgment that the Giants are the crowned champions, until a new champion will emerge next year. All year long (and even through the postseason) they were underdogs as the experts continually undermined the team, but after witnessing a masterful performance throughout the tail end of the post season, they were definitely GIANTS among their opponents.

~LeX

Commentary on hatemongering

2010-10-26T09:09:00.001-07:00

The weight of a father laying their son or daughter into their grave is indescribable, let alone the additional burden of knowing that their death was caused by the horrific nature of war. This is the reality that unfolded for a father in Pennsylvania as he had to seek reconciliation for a son that died at only twenty years old and served honorably for his country. But perhaps the notion of seeing 1,200 mourners pay their respect for his son’s contribution would serve to restore some peace into the father’s heart. While we criticize our nation for sending thousands of young men and women into Iraq, this telling story accounts for one of the many thousands of parents enduring the pain of losing their young children, but unfortunately the story doesn’t end here.

Loud and angry words in repetitious fashion almost drown the procession of trumpets used to send the last word to a fallen solider prepared to ascend into the gates of Heaven. The mourners, including the father busy in their thoughts of the funny 20 year old kid whose ears stuck out of his Marine cap, could not help but turn their head slightly from the coffin that was being lowered into the earth. Outside the church, were large signs painted with the words “God hates fags” and “Thank God for dead soldiers” with protestors circling viciously around the gates. The remembrance and homage being paid to a young solider slowly turned into confusion as the mourners would tune into the message conveyed by the protesters. Questions and concerns abounded in massive hysteria as the mourners quickly turned to the father in bewilderment at the notion that he would withhold an important fact. Especially, In particular to this conservative community where rumors of someone being gay would have surely circulated to everybody by now. With tears still being dried, loud whispers could be heard as the mourners were in a frenzy about the notion that the son was gay. The father quickly roams to each corner of the seating area to diffuse the rumors that were circulating, but his efforts were soon sapped by the growing discontent from the crowd. Petrified by the quizzical looks that targeted the father, he immediately sends thoughts to his son and reassures him that the protest and confusion that emerged was unwarranted. In quiet desperation, the father felt helpless that he failed in his duty to give his son a proper burial. Because, in fact, his son was not gay.

Apparently, in the rural community of Topeka, Kansas the seventy members of Westboro Baptist chose to protest at military funerals in light of the “Don’t Ask Don’t Tell” policy advocated by the army. Frustrated by America’s tolerance for homosexuality, the church group targeted military funerals as the prime arena to voice their disapproval. The father sued on the grounds of emotional distress, while the church countered that their protest was protected by the Constitution’s protection of Free Speech. After a series of unsuccessful legal processions, the case has reached the Supreme Court’s grand stage which presents a sticky dilemma for the judges in trying to disentangle the murkiness of reestablishing the boundaries of Free Speech. Regardless of how the courts will rule the case, the story raises compelling questions about human decency. When does advocating for certain causes, supported by a genuine faith in the principles of Christianity go too far? Certainly, I can’t help but ask these church members to convince me about their good intentions when they strategically target funerals, an event marked by unfiltered grief and vulnerability. No wonder the church has been vilified and sniped at every opportune time from the media (see the Florida pastor’s international burning of the Quran day). Often churches are ideologically polarized as being far left or right, that we make the mistake of homogenizing the individual Christian members. Much in the same way that Muslims and other faiths are assumed to be uniformly the same, without taking into consideration diverse sects and denominations. One of the biggest struggles that I often find myself asking is why faith can be such a powerful force for good, yet equally serve as a detriment to society. Granted, I understand that everybody is entitled with the right of free speech and certainly a defining element that has made our country so great, albeit frustrating and confusing at the same time. But when is the notion of placing these freedoms over universal principles of human decency justified? Of course, these are complicated questions, and I may never find the answers in my lifetime. But perhaps, the most challenging trials of life is not necessarily the incapacity to deal with a world marked by delineations of black and white, but having to discern the various shades of gray.

~LeX

“Waiting for Superman”

2010-10-04T12:52:00.001-07:00

While I did post a film review on my movie blog site, I wanted to expand my thoughts as well through this main site. Given that the subject matter deals primarily with my field of interest, it would be easy to endorse this movie - however, I highly recommend this movie to anybody whether or not they have a remote interest in the status of American education. You don’t have to be entrenched in current events to realize the dilapidated shape that is American education system in comparison to the rest of the world. Certainly, there is a crisis when students across the nation are failing at a pandemic level and I commend the movie on giving an accurate portrayal of this reality. Through my experiences as a teacher and a witness to low performing schools, as well as a researcher exposed to numerous literature detailing the academic achievement gap alone, I was struck in watching all this unfold through a visual and auditory experience. The film was replete with the faux pas of a critically acclaimed documentary: cutesy visual depictions attempting to simplify complex statistics and usage of close up interviews (with slight editing to highlight certain dramatic moments), but as a critical observer in the field of education I would often look pass these film nuances to examine the real issues at stake. Here, I would try to suspend my disbelief and enjoy the film as an viewer ignorant of the pressing issues regarding education. And the message was quite clear in a two fold manner: the education system needs fixing and doing so will help to ameliorate the social ills plaguing society.

Many people have a misguided or limited perception on what the institution of school ought to provide. Sure, our childhood experiences may be filled with memories of listening to the droning of our science teacher or being at the library to kill time before class starts. But if I were to concoct a one minute endorsement for the film, it would be simply that the film makes you consider the broader implications on society as a result of our failing education system. These issues touches on race, gender, social inequality, economics – the whole gamut of social ills that often riles up political parties to be at each other’s throats. It’s no mystery that the urgency for school reforms is backlogged in terms of our priority on the political agenda, with Obamacare and the recession at the forefront. But when we look at failing communities like Detroit and Oakland, our knee jerk reaction is to point to the prevalence of drug and crimes, typically leading to an overinvestment in law enforcement. However, in considering the bigger question we often have to ask ourselves what’s perpetuating this culture? Given that you’ve gotten this far through my post, you can pretty much see where this is going. Although education is part of the problem, it does point to the lack of a viable education structure that can raise the expectation of youths from seeing past the appeal of drugs and gangs. The movie would show certain buildings that were fortified with concrete and barred windows convincing the viewer that they were seeing prisons, when in fact these were actually inner-city schools. Thus, it is difficult to argue how these institutions would be conducive to nurturing a culture of academic and the pursuit of knowledge, rather than just a holding place for potential criminals. Interestingly enough, the film makes a comparison of how much we spend on criminals and the amount of money required to put a person through a four year private school. Of course, the results are astounding given that the government pours significantly more funds to house and feed prisoners, thus raising the question of why we can’t invest more money in putting people into private colleges to not only avoid sending more people into the prison system but to actually raise more educated people into the workforce?

On a personal level, it was enlightening for me to watch this film and surely for my girlfriend as well given that we are both committed practitioners in the education field. Sometimes when you’re lost in the ivory tower of research and academia, it’s easy to get blinded to the pressing and practical issues that my discipline demands. Education is such a unique field that the boundaries are quite fluid and is impacted by a constellation of other disciplines including sociology and economics. Some people are misguided in their thinking that education merely entails improving people’s literacy in their ABC’s or math. But it extends towards empowering people with life skills so they can not only create a better life for themselves, but their community as well. It’s no wonder that the film focused on charter schools (which are somewhat independent and localized schools that can operate outside federal standards) and how these institutions were strategically placed in the poorest community like Detroit, Compton and Oakland. Historically, these battered communities have endured such pessimism and despondency that they’ve been labeled as places of no return or simply black holes. Our immediate intuition has been to increase the size of law enforcement or to bring jobs through a new car plant factory. But reaching to the root of the problem requires exploring the young minds that emerge from these communities. Thus as a final point, I would recommend watching this movie to understand how the institution of school and its impact on communities are fused.

As always, my movie blog is continually being updated.

~LeX

Meanderings

2010-10-01T06:30:00.001-07:00

A hiatus usually means two things: (1) I’m lost in the midst of publishing a paper and any ounce of energy to blog has been expended or (2) the effort has been lacking. Yes, it is a combination of both. When I’ve been entrenched into writing pages and pages of analysis, my voice has been lost somewhere in the sea of academia jargon. But I can see the light at the end of the tunnel, so I’m content that it’s nearing fruition, finally. Although physically I’ve been sapped of any energy to write, the mind continues to churn. In fact, since the last blog, I’ve started on a number of topics with many of them finished, but I’ve hesitated to click the “publish” button. Perhaps, it’s my high standard of perfection that’s discarded these thoughts as anything substantial or worthwhile to release into the public realm.

Change is seeping into every crevice of my life, for better or for worse. I used to welcome change with a sense of limitless optimism and a personality, which people would often describe as malleable. I take pride in that notion. But as I’ve grown older, my ability to adapt has gotten slower with a uneasiness that unfolds as established routines start to diminish.

Retreading Lost Grounds

2010-08-27T09:46:00.001-07:00

On Tuesday, I made my annual trip to serve for Grace Kitchen located in downtown SF. If you remember my post from last year, the experience was enriching and provoked me to serve yet again. Sponsored by Grace Cathedral Church (perhaps one of the most beautiful churches in the nation), every Tuesday and Wednesday they’ve relied on the power of volunteers to prepare and serve food for the thousands of temporary residents at the Coast Hotel.

As I was walking towards the hotel and given my undeniably bad sense of directions, the makeshift map that I scrawled on a tiny post-it note would prove to be futile. In fact, I was guided by a path that seemed to dawn from some divine origin. However, this path would not appear to be carved from any sense of hope or optimism. Passing by a well-attired valet standing outside the Hilton hotel and walking on O’Farrell street, the path would instead be guided by the gradual accumulation of strayed rubbish on the sidewalk and pairs of eyes multiplying in the shadows. On a day that would feature one of the most intense heat waves in San Francisco, there were lost people clinging precariously to the shadows created by the roofs in order to protect themselves from the flood of sunrays. The droplets of water painted across the sidewalk were residuals from the sweat that had dripped from their faces, only compounded by the notion that their bodies were thickly covered in layers and layers of jackets. Reporting on this spectacle would not prove to be in any way enjoyable on my part, as I have no desire to glorify the plight of these people or to objectify their situation to illicit sympathy. But as I walked through the streets, I was only convicted yet again of what would lay dormant in me as a result of living in the glitzy aura of Orange County: the recognition of poverty.

It’s only fitting that the book I’ve been currently reading would align closely with the reality that slowly unfolded before me. In the “Soul of Politics”, the author Jim Wallis chronicles the tragic plague inflicting our incapacity to meet the needs of the poor as a result of the historical clash between politics and religion. The polarization of the church into the two camps, conservative and liberals has carved such a division that discourse on ameliorating the economic inequities of society is severely impeded. The church certainly has a potential to deliver hope and change for the unfortunate, but progress is hindered by the squabbles of different ideologies between right wings who champion moral responsibility and tied to the strong institutions of wealth with the left wing stressing society’s responsibility for people but wedded by an impersonal bureaucracy more concerned with control than change.

Complicated as it sounds, that perhaps is illustrative of the murkiness of politics. But when the reality of poverty is encountered and unfiltered by the lens of political rhetoric, the simplicity of the issue becomes more pronounced. Working against the tides of society’s tendency to taint the issue with labels of ‘socialism’ and ‘welfare mothers,’ will craft a new vision of social justice that seeks to work with the impoverished community. It’s quite sickening to me that we can get so caught up in the rhetoric, that we lose our sense of humanity that is crying for help. Sometimes it can be easy to ignore the social ills of society, because of our feelings of entitlement and a sense that they should be able to earn their bread. But when people were born without a good home and healthy environment, there is a heightened awareness that the problem isn’t quite the people but the structural inequalities and institutions. The book asserts that working together with people can benefit us and the community at large, rather than taking the perspective of merely lending a sympathetic hand.

Within minutes, I eventually reached into the deep recesses of the city and arrived upon the shanty hotel. As I looked curiously for the other volunteers, a resident directed me to a poster indicating that I came on the wrong day and was supposed to meet at the Church to prepare the food. After climbing a vertical wall on Jones St. to reach California St., I finally arrived to the Grace Cathedral Church. Greeted by the volunteers at the kitchen, I came across a busy factory of various foods and vegetables being prepared. If the thought of seven volunteers cranking enough will power to cook food for a thousand people within a time frame of two hours sounds crazy, then I suggest this would be the place for you to check out. But alas we somehow accomplished this feat. In addition to being in charge of chopping beets, I also had the task of deep frying fifty rotisserie sized pieces of chicken on a grill. The work was satisfying, although I wish that I came on the correct day and had the opportunity like last time to serve and interact with the clients. As I finished my day’s work, I wanted to avoid the sense of entitlement that my contributions to society should somehow be compensated. Or simply feeling good about myself. Rather, I thought long and hard about how everybody, despite their socioeconomic and education background, are cogs working in unity for something bigger.

~LeX

To Mom..

2010-08-21T09:35:00.001-07:00

After celebrating her belated birthday dinner yesterday, it dawned on me that I should dedicate a post to my mom. If there’s anybody that’s laid praise on me about my upbringing, my immediate intuition is to defer credit to my mother. She’s made me the person who I am today. When I was younger, I remember that I would often cringe at the notion of being called a mama’s boy, yet here I stand proud of that title. It hasn’t always been that way as I had a very rocky and tenuous relationship with her in the past.

I was a very troubled kid in the past. During my adolescent phase, all of that teenage angst was in full force, while my mom was unfortunately placed in the middle of the chaos. It didn’t help that my father just passed, which only compounded my inner rage. Apparently, my mom was the only steady hand in guiding me precariously through adulthood. I would blame everything on her for my misfortune, yet she remained patient and resolved. I’m probably speaking on behalf of everybody’s childhood experience, but I feel that my animosity between my mom back in those days felt more pronounced. She was very protective, and the constraint on me felt so rigid that I couldn’t look beyond this stranglehold. It was only during that time when I had to leave for college, that things would change, for the better. Imbued with a sense of independence, I quickly realized all of the things that I took for granted. In the midst of my struggles with myself, finding faith in Christ helped me to chastise many of the lingering demons in my life. As my relationship with my mom began to improve, I’ll never forget one of the most important moments in my life. On an unassuming summer day, we were sitting on the couch late at night watching the rounds of talk shows when she sparked a conversation about how school was going. As I spoke about the general aspects of school, she abruptly mentioned that I changed. It was one of those weird moments where I couldn’t quite hold back my emotions as I admitted that I struggled with a lot of angst mainly directed at her. Stone faced, she stared at me with a curious disbelief. She then told me that she started to go church which left me speechless since I failed to mention anything about my faith. The conversation ended there, but it was perhaps the first time that my mom became human to me. I realized that we became somewhat equals and for the first time we shared this mutual companionship.

There’s alot of things I could write about my mom but I realize that it’s been overbearingly emotional for me. I’m still struggling to string together the words that could capture many of the countless memories that we’ve shared together, like the time her eyes formed into a pair of overflowing wells at the airport when I told her that I was going to stay in Japan for an unspecified time. But I realize that I’ve said all the things that needed to say about my mom here. Words can’t quite exemplify or pay deference to everything she’s done for me. She’s instilled in me an unwavering sense of human compassion, crafted a musically inclined ear and an inexhaustible optimism to accomplish anything beyond my heart’s desires. I love you mom.

~LeX

The Meaning of Race (or my slight attempt to)

2010-08-10T19:03:00.001-07:00

In the last month or so, I’ve been entrenched in research that ties heavily with the topic of race, in specific regards to whether or not the career aspirations of African American adolescents have been elevated as a result of having the first African-American elected into the presidential office. Of course, throughout this research, I have been engrossed in understanding the depth and complexity of African-American history which has been fascinating, yet still unfamiliar territory for me. But I never quite imagined that my research into this topic and the overarching ideologies about race would bleed into my everyday life. Now it’s been difficult to see life without the prism of race. Here I’d like to take some time to offer my perspectives on this delicate subject of race. I’m not claiming to be an expert, as my life experiences would not even suggest I’m a sociologist or anthropologist. Yet, as an educator in training and absorbed in a discipline that requires investigating the murkiness of race relations and academic achievement, I feel that I’m somewhat qualified to share my thoughts on this subject. Plus, as an Asian-American, the fusion of these two racial attributes may be useful in shedding insight on this controversial topic.

Despite the hotly debates about which conceptual frameworks regarding race like critical race theory and racial formation is appropriate in understanding race relations, one thing that many academics and people can agree wholeheartedly, is the fact that we cannot see race purely through the biological lens. Gone are the days when we can perceive someone in an naive fashion that the person is in fact a Caucasian or African American because they possess a certain amount of pigment melanin in their skin. Race is indeed a social construct. Ideally life would be much easier if we were colorblind and could see everybody as the same. But how we perceive someone’s skin color and physical attributes, are historically and socially constructed. And it is with this varying degree of how we identify people, that racial categories and stereotypes are brought into the fray. Sadly, it wasn’t long ago that even our own government implemented laws based purely on the persons’ skin tone without entertaining any considerations of their intelligence or skills. Dating as far back when slavery was automatically assigned to Blacks purely because of their skin color, they were only considered 2/3rds of a person at time the Constitution was conceived. Or the Jim Crowe laws, where people would be assigned different usage of public facilities depending on their race. I know that I’m just skimming the surface on these historical inequities, but I’m trying to illustrate my point that even in this day of age of entering in a supposedly post-racial society, those past incidences of racial oppression can never be deleted from the history books or from our own experiences.

Being in a school like UCI and residing in Irvine for that matter, I wouldn’t disagree that someone living here for even less than a week could quickly become an expert on all things Asian. And I should probably refine my usage of the word Asian since we’re dealing with a heterogenous hodgepodge of racial cultures, that includes within Irvine, various pockets of Chinese, Koreans and Vietnamese. I mean, what does it mean to be Chinese and how do we derive these seemingly unfair, yet sometimes humorous stereotypes? Would I be racist if I pointed out my observation of seeing an enclave of Asians loitering around Tapioca Express, sipping Boba and playing cards? And what provokes, this same group or the next group to continue perpetuating this stereotype? Upon reflection, I sometimes wonder if I’m supposed to have a genetic predisposition to playing DDR. It’s interesting when I take my Chinese-American heritage overseas to Asia that I’m not Chinese anymore. Visiting Taiwan and China, I wasn’t merely a tourist that stuck out from a mile away, but it would entail an experience bordering on a mild degree of persecution. Although I could easily blend with the locals because of the way that I looked, the identification of being an American would automatically provoke all of the negative stereotypes concerning Caucasians like being spoiled, lazy or overly individualistic. Having a dual-identity where I’m cognizant of these things is weird, although it’s disheartening that I would be openly castigated by people of supposedly my own ethnic background.

Race is a very interesting topic and it will continue to persist, despite any self disillusionment that we are living in a truly colorblind society. How would comedians thrive if they couldn’t make some redundant observations about racial stereotypes? Sadly, it’s the easy and most convenient venue for a laugh. It will be fascinating to see what racial discourse will look like in 50 years. What kinds of theories or paradigm shifts concerning race will emerge that may alter our views about race relations?

A good friend of mine, a white dude, made this poignant remark about the dangers of assuming a colorblind society. He went to a predominately minority-based church where they were proposing to promote multiculturalism while embracing every newcomer regardless of their ethnic background. When they discussed policies seeking race through a color-neutral lens, it became apparent that they weren’t actually endorsing colorblindness but shifting to a white-color lens. Basically, being colorblind was merely a shift to favor the white culture. What does this say to our society trying to become colorblind? In the end, we become homogenously conformed and divorced from anything remotely resembling our culture and uniqueness. Perhaps, that’s my biggest fear about all of this talk about colorblindness and I’m not, in any way, trying to turn this post into let’s blame the white man. But it is apparent to me that race, as awkward as a topic it can be to introduce into a room full of people, needs to continually be relevant in our political and societal discourse.

~LeX

Untitled

2010-08-02T00:51:00.001-07:00

Convicted of only things that can be seen,

Observance of something descending into my path,

Am I hallucinating or perhaps its supernatural,

Ugliness in my soul saturated by a light so pure,

Uncertain if drawn into the midst of an endless stupor,

Filled to the brim with vast desire for the Truth,

Complete oneness with the soul so content,

Yet never realizing that an angel could exist.

~LeX

Like Father Like Son..

2010-08-01T09:03:00.001-07:00

The spirit of a conversation from last night provoked me in reflecting on understanding who my dad was. He passed away a long time ago when I was in 10th grade, the exact day and month unknown to me. Since that day, it’s been a long struggle trying to piece together the remnants of my father’s legacy through various memories, conversations with family members and photographs. The only thing I remember is his fierce brilliancy, love for the arts and literature, and the outdoors; yet I have no recollection on who he was as a person. Every person that I’ve encountered has proudly boasted about his amazing accomplishments as a Chemistry professor at National Taiwan University, but I was still lost in a sea of uncertainties in understanding what all of this had to do with me.

It was only recently when I came to my Uncle’s house, that my Uncle left an unassuming Kerokeropi photo picture book on the coffee table which piqued my interest. The first few photographs was a revisit of some of my nasty, yet humorous memories of how dangerously obese I was as a child. With thick framed glasses,pursed lips, and a waist line that made my striped shirt bend, I would have to pinch myself in puzzlement if this was in fact the same person that would be standing looking at these pictures. I couldn’t suppress my giggle, since I’ve already accepted my obesity for a long time and changed dramatically, to say the least. Seeing the subsequent photographs featuring my brothers and cousins, also in their innocent, yet dorkish clothes, also generated the obligatory laughs that I also couldn’t quite suppress. However, as I turned to the next few pages with my dad in his square black glasses and standing what it seemed like a timeless moment with my uncles, it occurred to me that I was confronted with a convicting flash from my memories past.

Probably the most vivid image that I’ve engrained in my memory concerning my dad, was this faded picture of my dad posed in front of a cobbled stone bridge on a haze in what looked like a foggy morning of a European country. With thick and square black glasses and his hair waving in the wind, his slight smile was off angled with the camera. There was a seriousness to his demeanor, while his look fully exuded the body of work as a well accomplished and traveled professor. Perhaps, the most memorable feature of the picture was the fact that he was standing in solitude absent of our family. Looking at this picture reminded me that despite the fact that he was a great person, and deservedly so, I would cringe at the thought that much of his success was independent of our family’s presence. It didn’t quite matter to me that people would recollect to me about he changed the world with his research, since I would be frustrated about the absence of any memories that we shared together as father and son. Although I can pop this photographic image in my mind, it’s led to a terrifying reality on who my dad was. At the point that I started to navigate through the fierce academic rigors of the scholarly world, this picture has been recalled so frequently that it’s been a haunting reminder to who I am supposed to be. Certainly, the notion of following in my father’s footstep despite his physical absence still retained a powerful hold on me. I was frozen to the point, where I would wonder if I could ever match my dad’s body of work and elicit the praise that I was so used to hearing.

After flipping through a few more pictures of my dad, I came upon an image that seemed to be casted far off from my memories, perhaps even bordering on fantasy. My dad was crouched over with me and my brothers wearing bright colored striped shirts on a beach at what appeared to be a sand box. There was something human and warm about the picture, that caused me to stare at the picture without any consciousness of what was surrounding me. With funny bowl hair cuts and an innocence glazed on me and my brother’s faces, we were laughing childishly with my father. Gone was the image of my dad’s tight lipped face as he was positioned squarely with the camera and beaming with pride at his accomplishment in having his sons at his side. I came to the realization that it wasn’t fantasy I was merely looking at, but represented a dimension of my dad that was in fact who he was.

They say that a picture can say a thousand words, but I’ve probably said more than enough to exceed this quaint little proverb. I’ve come to a revelation that despite my dad’s passing, I’m still somewhat tied to living in the shadows of his accomplishments. But upon seeing that innocent picture with my dad playing with me and my brother, it became clear that my father’s accomplishment didn’t merely encompass his academic career but in fact as a family man.

~LeX

Approaching the Milestone

2010-07-26T10:21:00.000-07:00

A birthday. Turning a new leaf. With every passing birthday, the feeling and acknowledgement gradually diminishes, while the impact increases in significance. 29, a year approaching the big 30. 30 is the age where you're supposed to jump off a plane, buy a new convertible, get a tattoo, or so on. I haven't quite thought about what I would do. I feel that I've reached 30 already, maybe a year ago. It's a terrifying thing to think about, when you realize that life contains some kind of expiration date. It's unsettling it is, as I have a tendency to verify that my milk hasn't already expired, prompting me to purchase a back up supply of milk at the store. But to think that my life is on the clock as well, it certainly sheds light on a new perspective. Just when my career has been germinating with different possibilities and entering into new horizons, it's seemingly unfair that someone out there is gripping the stopwatch. I have a hard time as it is, trying to regulate my schedule throughout the day, an innate anxiety to maximize every minute of the day. Now, perhaps its a realization that it's impossible to cater to every possible desire and goal as I should learn how to pace my life. Maybe a few can identify what it is I'm describing, but perhaps it's the effect of living in the academic world. I don't think anything compares to this strange and foreign world that holds the power to stop time at its feet. Everything around me is maturing and changing at an exponential rate. I witness friends getting married, settling into a new house, the birth of new children into the world.. I'm looking all this through a bubble-plastic and stretching from one side of campus to my own apartment. What happens when I finally exit this bubble? A newborn, eyes scrunched and barely able to absorb the incoming light.. As a child, we had our own idea and conception of what life would be when we get older: a house nestled within white picket fences, a shiny red SUV parked on the driveway with the 2.5 kids. And things certainly don't turn out that way you expect.

It will be interesting when I hit 30 and finding out whether or not I will experience something more momentous. 20's as a young adult signified an event prompting something fun and stupid like waking up next to your own vomit on the floor of your bed. The 30 year old benchmark indicates an event that's significant with a component of danger and risk. This year, was probably the best birthday that I've had so far. It wasn't extravagant like previous years, where I would be caught up in the spectacle of recruiting everybody within my social network (friends and acquaintances) and planning a typically Alex night of alcohol and nonstop board gaming. I spent the time with those closest to me. Being with them, was a reminder that life is about being with the ones you love the most.

~LeX

A Widow for One Year

2010-07-09T16:38:00.001-07:00

If the image of a 16 year old boy mounted on top of an 35 year old woman while a little 4 year old daughter just happened to witness the event is too unsettling, then this book may not be right for you. And if you need further clarity, we’re talking about how dogs do it best. That’s pretty much how the book opens up. Granted I’m not some pervert that propelled me to continue reading the book, but perhaps it stemmed from my familiarity with Irving’s work. As I’ve mentioned, I’m a big fan of John Irving and there was something appalling, yet intriguing about the story. If there was any sort of structure in the plot (and I must add is very skeletal for many of Irving’s work), it’s the curiosity that arises to understand what causes a love affair between a young 16 year old boy and 35 year old woman. After finishing the story, I’m delighted to say that in typical Irving fashion, a delicate thread of logic does wrap up this seemingly offensive love story. But that’s what draws me to Irving’s work, his boldness and lack of fear in tackling even the most absurd of human relations.

Like every other Irving book, the familiar themes emerge yet again: a protagonist in the shoes of a writer/author, sexual promiscuity, the protagonist’ preoccupation with sports and the protagonist’ story within the story. While I’m reserved to disclose too much out of the book, Irving attempts an intricate and mini detective episode involving the murder of a prostitute. Although it worked in some ways for the book, I urge him to probably avoid any attempts at crime thrillers. Of course, this wasn’t the focus of the book and thankfully it only spanned about two chapters. Moreover, it was interesting to see Irving climb into the character of a strong and independent female. Ruth is realistically depicted as a self-determined author, yet is involved in a complicated sequence of dilemma. Like every other Irving book, it’s hard to summarize what the story is about since the author has a tendency to build the foundations of his character and allows them to blossom while letting the story unfold. The characters pretty much dictate the book while you can imagine the author sitting relaxed in the back seat. Through a series of unfortunate events (forgive me for my lack of better words), the story focuses on the dysfunctional chemistry of Ruth’s family which eventually leads her to a one year sabbatical into widowhood.

The book doesn’t quite compare to “The World According to Garp” which I would say had more outrageous events in store for the characters and appeals more for the mainstream audiences. I have yet to read “Cider House Rules” which is another one of his more well-known titles, which would motivate me to watch the movie. A movie with Tobey Maguire and Michael Caine, doesn’t exactly scream excitement to me but I’m always intrigued about watching movies based on a books. The last movie that I saw that actually did justice to the book was “Angels and Demons,” which I would admit met my expectations, given that the well conceived plot lines of the book. If you’re somewhat a fan of John Irving’s work then I fully endorse this book, but if the first line of this post was too appalling then skip it.

~LeX

The US Soccer Team

2010-06-24T12:50:00.001-07:00

There’s probably no legitimate time to flare nationalistic pride for your country than the the World Cup. Last time, perhaps was the time that I added a U.S. flag decal to the back of my old 1999 Corolla shortly after 9/11. Or maybe it was more recently, during the summer Olympics when the U.S. basketball team and Michael Phelps creamed the competition. But can we rally behind our Olympic teams when we’ve had such a dominating force on our sides? In short, no. But this is why our soccer team has captured such an intense spirit for this year’s world festivities. While our team isn’t exactly the Cinderella story in sports history (rather that title should be given to North Korea if they actually advanced), the fact that we have not advanced since 1930 is a tell tale sign that our country is actually serious about this world renown sport.

Flashback to our game against England and we can definitely appreciate that we didn’t lose in this game, but in anti-climatic fashion ended in a tie. Although we balk and complain about ties in soccer, at least we have to appreciate that this was a game where we gained momentum. Yes, we had luck on our side and had a point given to us by Green’s careless slippage in defense, allowing that ball to sail into the net, but had we lost that game I doubt we would rally against Slovenia and Algeria.

But probably more memorable than anything was our game against Slovenia. Going into the first half down 0-2, would have certainly been a good reason to pack our bags and go home, but that was not the case. Of course, we’ll always remember the bogus call from referee Coulibaly in stripping Edu’s goal away that would have won the game for us, but let’s not forget the fact that our team tied the game at 2 points apiece. The last two goals by the U.S. to tie the game was nothing short of a miracle, revealing the absolute resilience and determination by our team. In hindsight, although we could have easily complained about the blatant violation by Couibaly, the game at least put us in the running to advance.

And now we arrive to yesterday’s game against Algeria which cast off all the disappointments and heartbreaks our team faced in the last two weeks. During the first half, our team looked like it was going to relive some of those feelings of injustice by the refs. Dempsey hit a great shot into the goal during the first half, but had his goal waived by the ref who clearly did not see that he was onsides. And then the heartbreaker, an onscreen display showing that our rivals, England had scored a goal against Slovenia. That’s when the pressure cooker started to bubble as a mere tie would not be sufficient since we needed to actually score a goal, let alone win the game. Our team looked beaten and fatigued as they tried to ignite some kind of push to score a goal, but we couldn’t come up with the big one. And then after stoppage of time, it was going to be over. Until Algeria slightly let their foot off the pedal and made an opening for the U.S. Altidore looked like he had a good shot, but as it bounced off the post, the closer (Kobe, call him as you will) Donovan dove for the miracle save and put that goal through the net. 90 minutes and 4 minutes of time stoppage, 1-0, game over!

Now our team has entered the grand stage. No longer can the world poke fun at the U.S. for its poor aptitude for soccer. When the two powerhouses from the last world cup, France and Italy have been doomed to early exits turning them into the laughingstocks, it certainly speaks volumes about how good our team is. Looking forward, it will be an insurmountable climb as we still have the Brazils, Portugals and Argentinas to face. But not many would have predicted our country to move towards the top of the group while looking down at England. Ghana will be an interesting game and it should be winnable for us. Luckily England and Germany will beat each other so badly that we’ll be taking on the table scraps in whichever team wins that match.

The World Cup is chocked full of emotions and I appreciate that there is good coverage by our media, although it would be nice to have more. Nevertheless, our team has certainly captured a passion and optimism for soccer here in the United States. Certainly it can be a bit embarrassing and tacky to wave our flags while chanting in drone like fashion: U-S-A, but that’s because it’s been such a long time since we’ve had that divine reason and inspiration. If someone feels that they’re entitled to mount four (yes, as opposed to two) yellow and purple Lakers flag on their car, then an outward expression for your love of the US should certainly be within the confines of social etiquette.

~LeX

The Summer Respite

2010-06-16T09:56:00.001-07:00

Currently Reading: John Irving – A Widow for One Year

After a flurry of papers and finals (60 pages in the last 4 weeks), I have officially ended my first year in the program. The fact that I was spending every waking moment on Word and practically the Thesaurus, just stigmatized my interest for writing and anything remotely related to words in general. Hence why there was a long dry spell for my blog. But alas, a few days to recover my energy and a comfort with words again, and I’m back to scrawling stuff on this site again. This year has been a learning process. The constant busyness with schools, meetings, deadlines, workshops, papers, etc. etc. has been to say the least, overwhelming. You know sometimes that feeling, perhaps temporarily for a few seconds or minutes when you feel that everything is out of your own control and you feel like you’re just drifting? It’s like being in a dream state, without ever feeling like you’re going to wake up. I think that feeling has stayed with me ever since September and never ceased until pretty much now. I’ve always felt that I’ve been clinging on this loose thread, with the slightest fear that it could snap at any minute. Now I’ve been able to wake up each morning, perhaps for the first time in months, without feeling like that.

But that being said, I have this summer to regain my energy and find who I am. Although it’s a long summer (about four months), it may go quickly since I’m still somewhat tied to working on my first year project and other papers to work on. But it’s going to be an important time to diagnose how I can approach the next year and certainly the rest of my stint in this program. I know that I’ve been a recluse and isolated from my friends, something I hope to work on. Striking that fine balance between your work and friends is an impossible hurdle. While I’m entrenched working on a paper, I’ll have long debates about whether to call a friend to hang out or even just chat. Then it’s this self-inflicted guilt if I’m not going to be there for someone. The long discourse with myself eventually leads into a decision that I should stay and work on my paper. But of course, with all the time that I spent agonizing over the issue, I could have just went and hung out with my friend. Definitely I have to see how I can better apportion my time. It definitely will be a bit easier next year, since my class won’t be so intensive and homework heavy (the burden of having some kind of quantitative class).

This summer is going to be exciting. I hope to launch some new projects to capture my vision of volunteering and to help the needy. It’s been a real struggle for me to get myself into the mode again. I’ve certainly neglected this part of me and it’s been essentially dormant ever since I’ve arrived to Irvine. But I’ve been able to connect with people and I know that I can realize this potential again. The weight on my heart has been heavy to just do something. Hopefully I can find something that will resonate and it can last with me throughout my life. I guess it's that bombardment of different needs in the world that can be so overwhelming, you just need to develop some filter to find that one or two particular needs and then you just run with it. I’m still trying to find what that is.

So far I’m off to a good start. I’m working with the Fatherless Boys mentorship program and it has certainly drawn me back to helping kids again. And it makes sense, since it will involve maintaining a blog site so that these boys can communicate and connect with each other. I remember the blog site that I did for my students and it was an awesome experience for me. Now I have that opportunity again. In the past, Ive had this interesting hand-in-hand relationship with blogging. Sometimes it can be a blessing or a frustration if I just leave it out to wither away online. But when I see it as a tool to bless the lives of others, my purpose in blogging suddenly makes sense again.

~LeX

World Cup – Only Weeks Away

2010-05-07T00:09:00.001-07:00

Has it really been 4 years since the last World Cup- conjuring images of Zidane giving that nasty headbutt to Materazzi, turning him from beloved global hero to a complete sourpuss? Never mind the fact that the game went to extra time resulting in a penalty kick, that had me baffled in seeing the heavily favored France go down to Italy.

It seemed like yesterday when I couldn't get enough of the drama that unfolded. This coming from the most inexperienced soccer fan. But after getting a glimpse of the hype during my visit to Germany, it was easy for me to understand the magnitude of this event. Despite the fact that Germany's national icon, Dirk Nowitzki was taking his team to the NBA Finals, the talk about soccer (or should I start referring to it as fubol?) was seemingly unavoidable. It was a bummer not being able to stay in Germany throughout the tournament, but it didn't stop me from following the games back in America. Dusting off an old copy of Winning Eleven on my PS2, I remember the intense battles with my buddies as we couldn't avoid futbol fever.

It's unfortunate that as Americans, the event is greatly undermined in terms of its importance. Judging by the amount of media coverage, our country couldn't be more indifferent despite the fact that we have a team in the tournament this year. But perhaps that was before Beckham's penetration in the US market and attendance in MLS games rapidly increasing. But there should be no excuse this year. I mean, there's no beating around the bush that the World Cup is a huge event. We get hyped about our college teams beating out 65 other teams for the national championship. How about a 4 year wait for your country to beat out the 202 other countries in the world? Granted if we’re counting all the qualifying games and presuming every country has some sect in the population that can play soccer.

Okay, that isn't news flash to anybody, but this year's World Cup is set to be one of the most important sports event of all time. The fact that this year is set in South Africa aligns the world's eyes on a politically and economically neglected country, let alone the continent of Africa. It wasn't that long ago when South Africa was led by a movement that was spearheaded by Nelson Mandela in freeing the country from fifty years of political coercion on the native inhabitants. Sometimes we take our civil liberties for granted, but the people of that country were only really able to escape from the oppressive forces of apartheid in 1994. I haven’t watched the film Invictus, and perhaps I should, but it’s astonishing to realize how a sporting event could have such a profound political impact, while nothing short of miraculous. The 1995 World Cup of Rugby held in South Africa, where it was the first time that a South African national team could compete. The odds were stacked in favor for a Cinderella-like sports tales as the team clawed their way to the championship game against New Zealand and winning it in extra time. It’s an unbelievable way to make a statement for a country that has been marginalized historically for decades. Oh that reminds me.. ESPN did a 30 for 30 piece on this event as well called The Sixteenth Man.

So flash forward to 2010 and the venue’s back in South Africa. It would be fitting if the national team could win the championship like they did for rugby, but it’s unlikely that they can compete with the Brazils and Portugals. However, for those who were unable to witness the rugby game back in 95’, at least we’ll have the privilege of experiencing something similar this year.

~LeX

Mavs rant..

2010-04-29T22:31:00.001-07:00

I avoid writing about sports, mainly because it’s limited to a niche audience and I figure that everything that I say is echoed by the plethora of information from sports websites. But when something as excruciatingly painful as dealing with the Mavericks not making it this year, then I’m going to have to break my blog’s rules.

For those who are unaware of my sports passion, it’s Mavericks up top and the Giants at a distance second. For a Bay Area person, many wonder why I would choose such a random team like the Mavericks and to that I respond that I was born in Dallas, plain and simple. It’s not everyday you’ll run into a Mavs fan, but consider yourself lucky if you know me. I’ve run into a few Mavs fan, but we’re the statistical outliers of any urban city outside Dallas. For those who’ve paid attention to the history of the Mavs playoff run, you’d figure that I would have accepted the long history of losing by now. The pattern is pretty much the same year by year, strong 50 + win season finish and then an early exit from the playoffs. It’s amazing how many teams I’ve seen get the best of the Mavericks. Although a look through history has shown that the Spurs (including this year, yet again) have been largely responsible for all those playoff exits, remember when the Kings and Suns gave the Mavs some intense matchups? But probably nothing can compare to the miraculous trip to the Finals and running into a one man team led by D-Wade. And dare I even mention the following year, where the Mavs achieved one of the greatest regular season records of all time and then getting ousted by the 8th seeded Warriors.

But it’s been a disaster since that year after getting bounced early by the Hornets and Nugs. So you’d think that all this post season losing would temper my hopes for this team to reach that ever so elusive championship.. I probably did, until this year with the $30 mill. acquisition of Butler/Stevenson/Hayward. While technically categorized as a trade, we basically stole those guys from the Wizards. But perhaps any player, even Jud Buechler, is an upgrade from Howard. So why wouldn’t I have the utmost confidence this year for the Mavs? But watching the series against the Spurs and how they basically negated any advantages from the trade reminded me that no matter how much we’ve tried to change, the more things stay the same. It’s not the personnel, coaching or players; it’s the team’s softness. And unfortunately it may have to do with building the team around Dirk. No question that the guy has been the reason for their success, but unfortunately he is also the reason for their failure. If Mark Cuban surrounded Dirk with any more NBA players to help him win the championship, there’d be no one left to play. There’s a revolving door around this team. We’ve seen Antawn, Van Exel, Walker, Finley, Nash, Devin, Nash, the list goes on an on. Yet no matter how great the circumstances, it remains to be seen if Dirk can carry the team to a championship.

I could probably rant more, but frankly it’s getting too depressing for me. Sports is an elusive thing. While we can treat it as entertainment, somehow it has a mesmerizing effect on people to stand up in front of the TV and yell incessantly at every call. But life goes on, I suppose. So in the meantime, I’ll have to hope that we’ll get treated to a Laker-Cavs fan for the sake of all sports fans. I’m not going to disclose who I hope is going to win, but let’s say that I don’t want to wake up the next morning with yellow and purple flags in my face 24/7.

~LeX

Long hiatus..

2010-04-24T19:10:00.001-07:00

Not sure how ‘long’ is ‘long’ or if I could consider this to be a hiatus, but I have an urge to write again. How I will proceed or in what direction doesn’t seem to be certain. What caused me to take a break is something I may reveal again sometime in the future, but not now. But it’s the frustration building up of being solely a consumer, rather than a creator of the things occurring in this world that’s given me great conviction. Hopefully I’ll be able to scrawl a thought or two and even perhaps a reflection in the near future. As of right now, I can’t lose hope that this blog will contribute something positive to society or to someone’s benefit. Time is limited, yet I’m not making every minute or second meaningful. Who knows what direction I’m going to take. I’d like to reveal more of the humorous side of my personality. Perhaps a commentary on the interests and hobbies that occupies my time, namely sports. But whatever it’s going to be, I’m just going to let it flow.

~LeX

.. parting thoughts.

2010-02-07T23:15:00.001-08:00

Currently Listening To:

Coldplay – Rush of Blood to the Head

When something good happens, truly good, it seeps and touches the soul. Even if it passes through the mind, despite its enormous power, the mind can still fail to comprehend, let alone rationalize it. Thoughts, intuitions, words fail to translate into anything that resembles any sort of sense. A flow of energy, more pure in substance than adrenaline needs to released. Elated and needing to shout some primitive sound that doesn’t even symbolize words, with no cares of the world engaged in its peaceful slumber.

~LeX

While trapped in a weekend of studying..

2010-02-06T12:13:00.001-08:00

Currently listening to:

Spoon – Kill the Moonlight

When a new idea is born, you have to guard it with all your heart and mind. It emerged in the most inopportune time, while in the midst of my midterms and through the muddiness of life. But suddenly life takes on a whole new texture, bringing forth new possibilities. I’ve suddenly become so consumed with it, trying patiently to understand why and how it originated. It suddenly festers into every crevice of my mind. While the mind tries to cage this idea, the open bars still allows it to reach beyond greater horizons. I’ve never considered myself a scientist or even an innovator. New ideas rarely manifest. When those few pieces of ingenuity arises, they unfortunately get filtered through my often critical mind. It’s filtered through a jaded sense of it's been done before or the costs outweigh the risks. But when something illuminates the mind in such a way that it is unique, and even possessing some kind of divine attribute, my immediate reaction is to hold onto it.

While I’m blogging about this, it may aggravate the reader why I’m not revealing what this idea is. In past experiences, I’ve often found that ideas can sputter prematurely if it hasn’t been fully developed. As much as I want to publicize it, I have to wait patiently for the idea to incubate. I remember a book I read called "Visioneering”, with the author stressing that timing is key to the emergence of any new idea. The downfall of many new ideas stems from publicizing it too soon to people in the face of immediate criticism. If the idea hasn’t been reinforced with enough support and a plan, an automatic disinterest results. But when the idea has been thoroughly developed, you can enable others to see it from your own perspective so they will be willing to listen to your idea.

But I’m convinced and intrigued again about the power of a new idea, concept, innovation, theory or even a researchable question. They don’t arise from people who are engrossed deeply into their academia or research. But even the small things, that people often overlook because they seem to lack a size in impact, can lead to something great because nobody wants to be the first to discover it. Or perhaps it’s something that exists, but requires looking at it from a different perspective, thus leading to the creation of something entirely new. But I’m enamored with this idea that I’ve gained in that not only can this contribute to a new discipline of knowledge, but how it will greatly benefit society. It’s exciting, while producing further urgency, to work harder on making this idea come into fruition.

No, my idea isn’t the successor to the Ipad or the cure to a mental illness. But I have a newfound appreciation that ideas were designed to arise from the unique nature of all individuals. It’s a realization that it stems from a purpose and a greater plan, that you and only you were called to develop it. We were all called to be the next Steve Jobs (depending if you can really attribute his creation of all Apple products from scratch) or David Ho (AIDS vaccine researcher, for those who don’t know). But when that new idea germinates, you must hold onto it like its your identity.

~LeX

Passing the Time

2010-01-27T00:01:00.001-08:00

Currently Listening To:

Doves – Lost Souls

Sometimes people ask me what life is like as a doctoral student or more importantly why someone like me who is seemingly impatient can devote the next six years of their life to school. Upon looking at their quizzical face, my answer ranges from a terse response such as “I like to do research” to “so I can prolong my search to find out what I want to be.” But in short, I find the process of being a doctoral student as just being thrust into an environment of trying to find the solutions in a world filled with problems that is devoid of an actual truth. At times it is frustrating for someone like me that appreciates certain “certainties” in life but must fully embrace the reality that truth is multi-dimensional with layers of context that seemingly contradict each other. I guess it was more fun when I was in law school when we were learning about laws dealing with tort and property issues that could be universally applied to any social context, although people are frustrated by how laws can be interpreted in many different ways. Dealing with a truth that’s far from being a dichotomous black and white, is the frustration that the truth is more of a gray and further splotched with darker and lighter shades.The course work isn’t terribly demanding as it can just be at most times difficult. Professors are not inclined to assign work at a torrent pace so that assignments or papers have to be turned in the next day. But the concepts in the material can deviate so far into the stratosphere of the abstract that I have to check myself if there’s not another world apart from Earth (for those who are wondering, it’s statistics or even microeconomics.) I guess it’s astonishing how people have developed these theories that builds upon layers and layers of other theories, eventually contributing into another world resembling less like academia than the Twilight zone.

Okay, I’ve digressed too far, but being in this program is in no surprise, stressful; although not because the aforementioned points that the concepts are difficult to grasp. But probably the biggest challenge is trying to formulate your own identity in a program that is designed to forge your interests in so many directions. For all the different motivation and interests that push people into doing doctoral research, some may want to pursue the academic route, work in the professional field or simply do this for personal satisfaction. Or perhaps it’s for all three of these reasons, illustrating the dilemma that I’m constantly confronted with. I am more or less enticed into the notion of becoming a professor at a university, so that I can benefit from an autonomous lifestyle where my job security doesn’t teeter on maintaining margin thin profits. It’s fitting to think how I can thrive in an environment where I can use my experience to enlighten and build young minds. But on the other hand, I’m torn by the lost opportunity to immerse myself in the real world and working with people to develop solutions to problems dealing with social inequalities. Yes, it’s the paradox that haunts me in realizing that in being a researcher and investigating these problems, I won’t be able to have a more direct impact had I chose a career in the professional field. Maybe It’s reassuring that I have five years (plus 2 post doc years), so that I can make a well-informed decision on my career.

Yet in the midst of being in a doctoral program, it can be a real clusterf**** of opportunities (apologizes for the strong language, but seriously it’s better than the alternative, smorgasbord), which I’m in no way characterizing this as a bad thing. But aside from simply following the course work, we have the opportunity to attend conferences, pursue some kind of independent study or meet with professors to brainstorm ideas. This is perhaps the most challenging thing about a doctoral program of this magnitude: becoming comfortable with what one wants to pursue. Sometimes I yearn for the days of college. Life was so simple when one only had to worry about making to their classes in time. But it’s a bit more complex now. At times it’s overwhelming. I catch myself being self-tortured to a point where I feel that I have to excel in everything. There’s always more research articles to read about or workshops and conferences to attend to. If only there were more hours in the day to accomplish what I want to do. In the end, I have to take a cold hard stare at reality to realize that I’m only human. So while I’m almost going to spend a decade in this program, unfortunately there may be similar posts like this in the future.

~LeX

My take on the late night wars

2010-01-18T22:41:00.001-08:00

Currently listening to:

Spoon

Transference

I was going to post about my thoughts on the late night wars earlier, but it looks like all the drama has finally ceased with NBC giving the final word. Who would have expected the late night wars to escalate to such heights involving not just the two main players, Leno and Conan but everybody as well? It has been compelling TV to see not only Leno and Conan sniping each other, but Kimmel and Letterman providing the fire to Team Coco. But with NBC wrapping up a deal with Conan where he’s going to take a cash settlement to leave, there’s nothing much left to say that Conan is gone. In some ways it’s anticlimactic that all of the drama has ended behind closed doors.

Now with the announcement that his last show will be on Friday, I seriously never thought that I would see this day. I remember watching his last show in New York in disbelief that he was saying his final goodbye, despite the assurance that he was simply going to replace Leno. But I knew that his stint in New York would have a lasting effect on me as he was going to leave behind many of his notable characters like the Masturbating Bear and Joel the announcer. Conan’s last speech to his audience where he gave thanks was tough to watch as the nervousness and trepidation in his voice spilled onto the screen. But that was with the foreknowledge that he would be returning, now his last show will be more of a final farewell.

Next to Simpsons and wrestling, there’s no show that I’ve kept up more than the Tonight Show with Conan O’ Brien. I’ve watched it since I was in 11th grade and it never bothered me in staying up till 1:30 every night to watch his show while having to wake up at 7 the next morning. It may seem odd to people why someone could devote their time to watching Conan so long, or for that matter any kind of late night talk show since these types of shows are mainly formulaic with the same predictable routines. Not to mention that half of the programming consists of interviews with celebrities just promoting their product. But the monologues and low budget sketches were enough to keep me watching. Especially with Conan who caught my eye as the guy who raised the standard above Leno, Letterman and Kimmel.

Conan is the guy that I attributed my sense of humor from. If there was anybody that taught me the power of book smarts tied in with sarcasm and wit, it was this guy. Perhaps I was growing weary of the more cartoonish humor of Jim Carrey and Robin Williams that compelled me towards Conan. He showed me that funniness could still be delivered through a subtleness with a cold sharp mind. Not to say that I don’t still enjoy Jim Carrey here and there, but in reality who’s going to expect someone to make people laugh by practicing facial expressions. Perhaps it wasn’t coincidence that I was drawn to him because of the fact that he used to be a writer on the Simpsons.

There won’t be another talk show host like Conan. It’s very rare that a talk show host would spring up from an unlikely source: Harvard valedictorian and writer from the Simpsons and SNL. But it was his type of nerd humor, while not relying on any elaborate schemes, that drew me in. It’s too early to say where he’ll end up, but with his talents and popularity it’s hard to imagine that another network wouldn’t snatch him up. The sad thing in this mess is how unfortunate his exit will be. There won’t be any acknowledgement for Conan’s contributions, let alone any recognition of his existence for all the things he’s done for television. Who knows when he’ll ever appear on TV, but it’s an injustice in how his career has ended so abruptly and in such bad terms. You can bet I’ll be watching intently on his last week on TV.

~LeX

Counting Down to Two and One

2010-01-11T23:19:00.001-08:00

No I’ve not neglected my duty to continue with my list of favorite albums of all time. The list is almost done so please bear with me. Enjoy reading about the next work.

So far..

2. U2 – All That You Can’t Leave Behind (2000)

Call All That You Can’t Leave Behind (ATYCLB) my gateway to the world of U2. Although there’s more catchy songs that completes this album, it undeniably makes up the band’s greatest work. Listening to this album serves as a vivid reminder of 9/11 and the healing process in restoring America back to its glory. Among all of the other U2 albums this one contains the greatest number of anthem, evidenced by its start with the memorable “Beautiful Day,” where as in past U2 albums it usually starts with something more mellow like “Zoo Station” or “Homecoming.” Entrenched in this work is the feel of a gritty urban city like New York (no coincidence that one of the songs is purely devoted to the city) which seeks to bring meaning to the chaos of humanity and diversity that characterizes the city. U2 has traditionally geared their works to different parts of the world like the War album centering on the violence in Northern Ireland, Unforgettable Fire and its direction towards Ethiopian aid, and of course Pop which ventures into worlds outside of this planet. But ATYCLB is a departure from their humanitarian relief work and brings something familiar right into the center of our country, New York.

Perhaps what’s most striking about the album is the high level of energy that the band is able to sustain seemingly through its entirety. While many bands can probably sequence only a two or three songs on the level of “Beautiful Day", U2 is able to build bigger and greater momentum with “Stuck in a Moment..,” “Elevation" and “Walk On.” It is only until the last quarter of the album when it reaches to “Wild Honey",” where the album shifts from being stadium rock into more acoustic.

Of course no analysis can be complete without some mention of Bono and his undeniable presence in this work, and with every other U2 album to date. Although nobody can doubt his natural charisma and talents, it feels as if that it is only at this juncture of producing ATYCLB, where Bono finds his voice in the midst of age and at the turn of a new generation. We’ve seen the young and rebellious spirit in the War album, the soulful exuberance in Achtung Baby and of course his infatuation with cosmic flamboyancy in Pop. But it is at ATYCLB, where Bono is able to mediate these clash of styles to form a relevant voice in the new age of the millennium. As history as shown however, Bono’s voice is a continual evolution where the follow ups: How to Dismantle an Atomic Bomb and No Line on the Horizon shows yet again how he is able to find a new defining spirit.

As much as critics enjoy seeing this work as being all about Bono, this also feels as much as it is about the band as a whole. Edge’s unique and signature sounds resonates as it accompanies beautifully with the story that Bono tells. It’s unbelievable when one puts this album next to their previous work Pop, and assigned with the task of trying to understand how one evolved from the other. But it illustrates the importance of ATYCLB with the band’s motive in trying to prove to the world again why they’re the biggest and best musical act.

Finally, it’s no secret that U2’s humanitarian work is so publicized that it almost shadows their contributions as musicians. Whether they’re trying to suppress the violence in Northern Island with “Sunday Bloody Sunday,” singing “One” as the slogan for the One campaign or simply trying to make an album to educate countries on how to dismantle an atomic bomb, this album serves to remind us that even the everyday people like Wall Street traders or the vendor selling hot dogs that peace and unity should be at the forefront of our intentions.

It doesn’t hurt that being able to see them play live about four months ago helped contribute to my analysis. Unfortunately the concert is more of a spectacle than an experience to enjoy music, except for the people who paid with their first born to sit in the mosh pit.

~LeX

A Belated New Years Post

2010-01-07T08:46:00.001-08:00

Currently Listening:

Arcade Fire – Funeral

Yes, seven days have passed and I’m writing this post about the dawn of a new year; but the refreshed sense of optimism is still as strong as the day that 2010 finally started. I’m stressing to myself and hopefully to others about how we need to still embrace the new years. It’s a time when you can forget about the past transgressions from the previous year. But it’s not just a new year, but the arrival of a new decade. Yes we’re probably sick of being inundated by the “Top 10 somethings of the decade” that’s paraded by the media. I think I’ve seen everything from the top sports plays of the decade to the worst conceived TV or movie characters of the decade. But it’s a telling sign that we can turn a new leaf from the previous ten years of our life. That’s really hard to imagine considering that in 2000 I had just entered my sophomore year in college. Ah.. the bliss of ignorance when UC Riverside was my world with the only things relevant concerned doing well on my IM basketball team and not getting below a C in Japanese class. But flash forward ten years from then, and I’m still stuck in a strangely familiar arena as I’m still worrying on a day-to-day basis if I’m going to do well in my classes. But does it matter what happened in those years between? I may be underestimating the magnitude of some of the events that have transpired in those ten years, but it becomes moot at this point when I have to think about what I need to do tomorrow. I guess this ties in with a term that I just learned in my microeconomics class, sunk costs. For the majority of people that have taken or majored in microeconomics but forgot, sunk costs refers to the costs that have been incurred but cannot be recovered (see, I did the Wikipedia work for you already). So if one bought a clunker that is worth only 40% of its original value, this consideration cannot be entered in the process of deciding whether or not to buy this car. Since that loss in value has to be accepted by the buyer, the person needs to look forward and determine if the car is a worthwhile purchase for the future. I’ll try not to get too metaphysical here, but it’s this realization that no matter how old we get, we will always be in the same place looking forward.

I can feel this refreshed sense of optimism in the interactions with my friends and people around me. Those past grudges and long awkward silences can be avoided now that we have been validated by the new year. I notice that people are more chipper and have the mentality that if you don’t try to ruin the start of my new year, I'll return the favor to you as well. It becomes evident that with all the people surrounding me, those relationships go back to the default settings.

In other news, it’s really hard to find the time to read all the new books that I’ve accumulated in the past two weeks. I hate when I’ve spent an unnecessary amount of energy in trying to secure a book when I ultimately find out that I don’t have time to read the book and it’s just sitting on my shelf collecting dust. Even in the monotonous ritual of reading hundreds of pages dealing with educational research, I wish that there was more time in the world for me to finish reading my own books. I’ve been looking forward to reading The Road in time for the movie (but the movie is already close to being released on DVD), Stones into School, Angela’s Ashes, The History of Western Philosophy and going back to a copy of The Phantom Tollbooth I just bought used.

As you’ve noticed I also did some new decorations on my site. Recently I’ve been enamored with mural art. Something about using art as a medium to vandalize buildings became very fascinating. It dawned on me as I stayed up till 2 in the morning googling various types of murals that those found in the developing countries were more interesting. The many murals that you see stemmed from Chile where apparently these art works are plastered at every corner of the country. Given that these works are used as an expression for the artist, the social ramifications can been seen as a way to improve the community as well. Because they may not have the luxury of having Iphones and Facebook, these murals are a way for people to connect with each other while communicating their ideologies.

A new addiction for me is Digg, which is a website that collects random news from all over the web. It’s one of those quirky community oriented sites, that allow people to find stuff from the blogosphere to share with others. While I’m all for the news reported by the New York Times and AP, sometimes it’s just more entertaining to get my dosage from The Huffington Post or even Askmen.com. Also it’s just fun being able to find an interesting link to share on someone’s facebook. Perhaps as we get older, that’s one way that people stay connected is being able to post a link of a particular story so that becomes a basis for conversation. Is it me or am I finding the pursuit of knowledge to be as addictive as anything else?

~LeX

Book Review: The Social Justice Handbook

2009-12-30T17:57:00.000-08:00

Social Justice Handbook: Small Steps for a Better World by Mae Elise Cannon

3 *** out of 5 *****

Those who are interested in social justice in the context of the Bible should give this book a read, but may be disappointed that the information does not hold anything beyond a surface level understanding. It's too bad because the author does a commendable job of tackling the numerous issues associated with social justice, but fails to detail how each issue converges with support from the Bible. Granted that the author does not leave any stones unturned, it's still impressive in her efforts of tackling all issues ranging from poverty to genocide and even to assisted reproductive technologies.

As one can surmise from the dearth of Christian books that explores the issue of social justice, it's been my conviction that the Church has been underwhelming in its potential to alleviate social ills. This is the shining point of the author's perspective. She is courageous in her efforts to challenge the Church in not mobilizing its people and resources enough to reach towards the dark areas of the world. Especially endearing is the fact that the author is a female (although qualified as the executive pastor of Hillside Covenant Church) and with no coincidence covers the topic about the inequality in womens' role in the church. Thus, seeing the perspective of the Bible from a females' point of view does add relevancy to the issue.

The first two chapters that explores how social justice is founded on biblical principle is well researched as she thoroughly uses Jesus' life as a reflection on how Christians should act in living a life of servanthood. Then there's a history of how certain events in American history like the slave trade and Great Depression were responded by the Church. She gives a very honest appraisal of how the Church sometimes helped perpetuate certain injustices like the Prohibition movement which in fact led to an increase of social ills. Exposing the flaws from the church further supports the author's point of how Christians cannot stand idly by the church's progress, only motivating more action.

But the rest of the book falls flat like a "Dummy's Guide" as it details each social injustices that Christians need to be concerned. It is a laundry list of the fifty or so issues with piecemeal explanation and a suggestion of things that can be done to increase awareness. The book becomes tiresome after getting to the forty-eighth issue in its explanation of malaria, as the author sounds more nagging to the reader rather than being informative. Not to belittle the issue of malaria, but the problem of a book trying to cover every issue of social injustice reads more like an encyclopedia rather than a personal call for action. However the author does inject a personal touch to the issues by providing personal stories that are enlightening like Juanita Irizarry's devotion to urban planning for the rural area of Chicago. But the author gives some rather uninspiring advice like suggesting to the reader to write to their congressman in a third of the issues.

This book can serve as an introduction to understanding the biblical foundations behind social justice. In spite of the author's commendable efforts, many of these topics can be googled easily. At least this book is a good starting point for a deeper exploration on this important issue.

~LeX

New Years Resolution

2009-12-28T10:00:00.001-08:00

Perhaps I’ve gotten myself too early, but after much deliberation it appears that I’ve made my New Years resolution. It’s time to go vegetarian, or more specifically semi-vegetarian which includes still includes dairy, eggs and fish.

Maybe it’s coincidence that I was fascinated by Gandhi’s life in the beginning of the year or the fact that I’ve been intrigued by the cruelty exposed in the meat processing industry, but it’s made sense for me to adopt this new lifestyle.

“As I searched myself deeper, the necessity for changes both internal and external began to grow on me..”

Gandhi

While I’m in no state to compare myself to Gandhi, his experiment with the truth to fight social injustice started with the simple decision to change his diet. Of course he took his diet to another stratosphere of vegetarianism that not only included exclusion of dairy/eggs, but rejection of spices, condiments and artificial sweets. The attempt to emulate this diet would be nearly impossible given the commonality of all foods containing these additives. But in the hopes that I can learn more about how to better the world, it requires making sacrifices on certain things to appreciate what we often take for granted.

It may seem bizarre to understand why the decision to be a vegetarian could contribute to the cause in one of the greatest people to live on this earth, Gandhi. The man who propelled the movement in breaking down a century of British rule while restructuring India’s own society into a classless society. But It makes sense if these were the issues that he intended to advocate.

“Ethically they had arrived at the conclusion that man’s supremacy over the lower animals meant not that the former should protect the lower, and that there should be mutual aid between the two as between man and man.”

Gandhi

India’s rigid caste system limited the vertical mobility in the people’s roles as some were stuck to being an untouchable who were essentially slaves to the more privileged position of the Brahmins. Although this system is still somewhat intact in other parts of India today, Gandhi’s impact helped abolish the system in the greater parts of India. For a man that strived to narrow the gap between those underrepresented and with those in privileged positions, Gandhi needed to come into terms with the most basic of all relationships: man and animal. He couldn’t fight towards a classless society if he couldn’t live a life that put him on equal footing with animals. So in my own search for the truth to help people that are powerless without voices to various injustices, this would be a small step in thinking about how I can use myself in ways to help the world.

But the last and most poignant reminder is my conviction from Psalms 20:3 which states, “May he remember all your sacrifices and accepts your burnt offerings.” I realize that it’s not important what we sacrifice, but how we use our sacrifice to better the world. Probably one of the bigger challenges pertains to confronting peer pressure and trying to rationalize others about this decision, so it then becomes a test of learning to stand up for what I believe in. I’m dreading those situations where I’ll be forced to go to In & Out or eat Chinese dinner with my family, since those meals seemingly contain no alternatives to eating meat. But in the bigger scheme of things, it’s no different from people who choose to endure the Atkins diet or other weight loss plans.

Hopefully this resolve will help me to understand what people go through in being deprived of certain resources and that I’ll gain discernment in the things that are truly necessary to survive. And with that, I’d like to end with one of my favorite quotes.

Our life is frittered away by detail... Simplify, simplify, simplify! ... Simplicity of life and elevation of purpose.

Henry David Thoreau

~LeX

Grace Dinner..

2009-12-24T11:19:00.001-08:00

After reading various blogs kept from by peers I’m following, I’ve resolved to start writing more consistently while keeping each posts short. Perhaps I need to learn how to communicate my ideas better by not laboring on these long and monolithic posts.

The year and a half that I have lived in an affluent community like Irvine has really sheltered me from a full awareness in the economic poverty plaguing this country. As I stepped foot into the Tenderloin district and began to search for the place that I was going to volunteer, I regained a connection with the issues of social inequality and poverty that I had forced to be dormant in my mind for a long time. But now confronted again, I couldn’t ignore it anymore.

As I kept repeating under my breath the vague instructions from the email indicating the location of the place that I was going to volunteer- on the corner of O’Farrell and Jones, I felt a desire to turn back and go home after being approached by lonely beggars looking for a pinch of change. I saw a senior center that looked like the place that beckoned for my services. But the luxurious furniture and well heated rooms signaled to me that I was in the wrong place. Losing hope, I decided to make a U-Turn for the BART station. But in the corner of my eyes, I spotted a dilapidated hotel with the warm glow of fluorescent lighting. I had reached the right place as I spotted volunteers moving tables into the main room while setting up utensils and Capri-Suns.

I met all the volunteers and we proceeded to serve food to our “clients” (the convenient term used for people being served.) There were so many volunteers there to serve, that we actually outnumbered them. In light of this, the coordinator asked us to eat and talk with them. In my years of volunteering, this was the first time that I had seen this kind of arrangement. As I picked up a plate of food, I was hesitant to approach someone for a meal and chat. Surely enough I sat down with a couple. As I started with some superficial questions, I had to realize that I wasn’t going to have the type of conversations that I was accustomed to. It’s easy to take for granted that our conversations usually dwell with people that understand what Facebook is and what it’s like to have a job. But as we started to dialogue about life and the importance of family, those worldly matters like Iphones and Facebook soon became trivialized.

I could sense the trepidation in the woman’s approach when we started to talk. The sense of thanks for taking pity on me and forcing a conversation so that you can record an extra hour on your community work, understandably created a chasm between us. But as I engorged the same meal with her and not talking to her through a plated glass window, the proscribed status of “server” and “client” melted away. I learned some things about her life. As she talked about her love for reading as a little girl, she shared her drive to become a doctor. But as “things started to happen in her life,” and faced with a limited economic reality, she chose psychology as her major because the books were cheaper. Looking into her eyes, I witnessed a child like hope in achieving great things with her life but then an abrupt switch off of the light that shunned everything down. And here she was at this hotel trying to piece together the unfortunate events and circumstances that may or may not have been a result of her own control. But as we moved the conversation into movies, it was enlightening to talk about our favorite movies and how we were traumatized by our parents in forcing us to watch violent movies at a young age. By the time our conversation ended, I looked around as were the only people sitting at the table while the other volunteers were already cleaning up.

Driving back home, I reminisced about the stress that’s inherent in every Christmas season of deliberating on the right types of gifts to give. But as I learned from this experience, the act of giving can be surpassed by serving others. The simple act of giving our time and consideration is more than enough.

I hope that everybody has a good Christmas.

~LeX

The year in review…

2009-12-22T11:11:00.001-08:00

With the year coming to a close, I thought it would be a good time to take a break from my list of top albums to reflect on a year that’s been. While this year has been immersed with an economic recession and tragedies that seemingly pervade the news, I have to admit that this has been one of the best years in my life. How does one measure or determine a standard to evaluate their year? Is it based on accomplishing career, social and personal goals? Looking back it was a combination of all those things. When I set my mind to accomplishing something, large or small, somehow I was able to check it off my list. Usually I’m not the type of person that likes to reflect on my past trials and tribulations because I am prone to worrying and trying to anticipate things in the future. But as I’ve absorbed various words of wisdom, it is important towards a positive well-being to be able to slow down and count one’s blessing. So in chronological order, I’m taking a look at the ups and including the down’s from having the best if not one of the greatest years in my life.

#1- Masters in Teaching and Credential Program – Before entering the program, the task of teaching classes at a middle school with all the caveats in preparing lessons and grading papers while going to UCI to take education classes at night time would seem infeasible for me to accomplish, but somehow I was able to keep myself sane during this arduous experience. Probably more enduring was the fact that I was able to take a leadership role in planning events for the cohort while holding several tutoring jobs to make some side money. Lastly, the kiss of death in the course of being able to pass the program, included completing the dreaded 100 page assessment called the Teaching Event. Although the experience had more enjoyable moments than bad ones, it was taxing on every inch of my body’s mental and physical aspects. Which is perhaps why I’ve valued my time in Japan so greatly in that I’ve already experienced the task of teaching full time and working at night to tutor students. If anything, I’ve learned how to manage my time wisely. That being said, I don’t wish to exclude this particular accomplishment from anybody else, because I know that many of my friends endured through this program as well. So as a reminder to myself and to others, this is indeed an accomplishment worth honoring.

#2- Journey towards the Marathon – I remember the moment when I stepped foot onto the track at Burlingame High School and cringing at the thought of a mile. After two years since I regularly ran four miles at a time, my endurance had been severely sapped. Although physically I was still in shape to run, the mental focus in running continually for less than 10 minutes was nonexistent. Slowly but surely as I began to increase my distance after each successful session, my running went from a mile to now running 9 miles. It’s still a work in progress and the hardest thing is staying consistent. In the midst of apportioning time for work, there are those days where running in mesh shorts on a freezing day at the break of dawn isn’t exactly appealing. But I recall a time where I managed to run on an early day at Skyline college track through a fog so thick that I couldn’t see past fifteen feet in front of me. As I endured through the course, it was certainly a beauty to see the fog slowly unravel as the sun peeked through and then witnessing a completely clear blue sky. The moment was certainly cathartic in confirming my calling to run.

#3 – Entering the Ph.D Program – The last and more momentous feat that merits mentioning. Although I applied early in January while I was still in the credential program, I was still reserved about whether or not I could get accepted. After receiving rejection letters from UCLA and Davis, it became apparent to me that I had the jump the gun too early. But upon receiving my last letter from Irvine through a short worded email indicating my acceptance into the program, I suddenly had to embrace a new life. But as time went on I had to learn that although being accepted into the program was part of the prestige in the experience, I also had to do the work of accomplishing that goal as well. Although this initial semester has been enjoyable because of the rapport I’ve been able to develop with my cohort and professors, the aspect in spending long nights reading and studying has kept me from getting a healthy amount of rest. Another caveat to the experience has also included working very closely with a fellow professor in a research project of travelling to various rural schools and evaluating their afterschool program. I’m not going to get into the details, but it’s been beneficial to realizing the practical aspects of a Ph.D degree in spite of seeing it as purely symbolizing academia. I know that I have a long way to go (yes, it will take seven years depending if I do a post-doctorate), but after a semester in the books, I feel confident that he foundations have been partly built towards a successful run.

Among these accomplishments are some things that I could have done a better job. Probably the most important aspect of my life that’s been neglected is the time that needed to be shared with others. In the midst of juggling my academic and research obligations, more times than I can count have I made these as a poor excuse to spending time with friends and family. As I’ve learned through being immersed in a doctoral program is the slow enticement in creating a sort of self-fulfilled prophecy in distancing and insulating myself from my friends. That being said, for my friends and family I hope to become a better empathizer and giver of my time.

Another aspect that deserves mentioning is the hope that I will become more of a contributing rather than consuming member of the church as well. While this year has been a transition to a new church, I foresee an abundance of opportunities in serving the community as well.

Also, it’s been disappointing that I’ve neglected to be more involved with community work. Last week’s time in serving the impoverished at the Toys-for-Tots was really the only time I volunteered this year. This year it was easy for me to take these opportunities for granted without realizing that when they do arise at certain times I need to be more active. In the hopes of starting a small group centered on volunteerism, there’s a greater opportunity for me to strengthen my conviction and guide others towards this responsibility.

Lastly, I try to set a goal to give up one thing for the entire year. Giving up clubbing for a year almost went to fruition until a month ago which was no fault on the part of anybody but myself. I thought I could do it, but guess I didn’t take it as seriously as I wanted to. But having that experience through the whole year did allow me to learn how to appreciate something that has traditionally been taken for granted. This year perhaps I will renew this sacrifice with something else as well.

This post was not intended to make myself look better than anyone reading this, but therapeutic for myself in learning to acknowledge the things that I often overlook. In fact, I despise talking about myself with trepidation that I’m just boring the other person. Perhaps it may be coincidence that I’m more attuned to the news, but I can’t recall a year that has brought more disappointment than this year. Yet somehow I’ve been able to pull through without losing my sense of resolve. While there’s little that I would to want to change this year, I believe that everybody can still have a better year. Happy 2010 everybody!

~Lex

# 3

2009-12-16T16:01:00.001-08:00

My finals are completed and now I can resume the countdown. To think, I’ve written 40 pages worth of Finals in the last week and yet I still have enough energy in the tank to articulate another post. Better now then never.

3. The Beatles – White Album (1968)

Epic, ambitious, colossus are mere understatements in capturing the biggest album the Beatles have released with the White Album, let alone possibly in the history of music. If there’s any indication to me in what made the Beatles from a staple into the Western pop culture, this album is simply their proclamation that everybody from all parts of the world needs to be given the chance to hear their music. Given the nebulous history of the Beatles, the mythical nature adds to the astonishing story of how this album was conceived; the story of how the band traveled into a far off village in Rinikesh, India to meditate with Maharishi Mahesh Yogi while in between “sessions” of creating the music for the album. But during the height of its creative collaboration, this lead to the Beatles practically splitting into pieces with the initial departure of Ringo, and the rest of the group following suit.

Probably there’s no clearer reality in the history of music than the fact that many double albums bomb, albeit a few great ones in history like Pink Floyd’s The Wall or In Rainbows. The act of releasing a double band becomes a band’s statement that they have transcended from making music to the deliberation of creating a masterpiece worthy of framing in the higher echelon of music. The move is ambitious, and I applaud any band that takes the risk. But the problem that becomes inherent in these double albums is the monetary incentive in being able to charge more for their music by haphazardly throwing in a second disc with B-side quality and acoustic recordings. Probably the most recent example that I can think of is Arcadium Stadium by RHCP, a supposedly epic album that only merited listening to their first disc since it contained all of the pop hits but the second disc just becoming a bland extension. Not to take anything from RHCP because they are a good band, but a double album needs to be planned with a diverse array of musical innovations to create two great albums, not just a second disc being the extension of the first one.

There are no doubts or ambiguities about the band’s intention to create big worldly music with its opening song “Back in the U.S.S.R.” Although it’s not evident because of the song’s light hearted humor and its homage to the Beach Boy’s “California Girls,” but the song also symbolizes the band’s fearless approach in stomping out the political taboos rampant during the Cold War. The sound of the airplane as its descending onto the runway sparks an image of the band’s arrival while greeted with the Russian media and adoring young teenagers, supplants fears in the hostile tensions emanating from the Western democracy and the Russians. Probably one of the most memorable lines that always sticks out when I hear this album is from another song, “Revolution 1,” in which Lennon can be heard careening the line “But if you go on carrying pictures of Chairman Mao.” These songs and many others, serves as a reminder of the band’s attempt to stamp out the politically hostile bickering of the world, with a shift in creating peace for humanity.

But I can’t labor on the historical or educational impact of these songs, because there are alot of fun songs on this album that deserve mentioning. Of course there’s the opener to the second disc with “Birthday” and “Everybody’s Got Something to Hide Except Me and My Monkey” with the intention of being silly and get people moving on the dance floor. Although I traditionally appreciate albums with dark themes and possess honest appraisals of life, I do enjoy songs that are designed to be fun, within the context of being done tastefully. In addition to these rock and punk-inspired tunes, the album celebrates the old Classical British era with its fanciful and theatrical sounds from, “Ob-La-Di,” “Wild Honey Pie” and “Martha My Dear” that reminds me about the unlimited scope that artists can use to make music. And then there’s the extremely absurd songs like “The Continuing Story of Bungalow Bill” and “Rocky Raccoon” that sounds so cartoony that only the Beatles can somehow make them still sound like rock.

Further, this illustrates the band’s advantage in being able to mediate between two talented, yet polar opposite vocalists: Lennon and McCarthy. McCarthy can sing the hell out of these songs with his youthful exuberance and inclinations for the theatrical. While it’s no surprise that McCarthy is the yin, Lennon also shines as the yang in this album. His sentimental yearnings and tackling with drugs represents a sharp juxtaposition to McCarthy, which adds to the further brilliance of how this album can still work so well. His most memorable song writing is glaring in “Dear Prudence” and “Happiness is a Warm Gun.” To me, “Happiness..” perfectly captures Lennon’s struggle with the attraction of using heroin and its pervasive grip on the late 60’s society. The song just becomes this warped rhythm of Lennon detailing the very moments of shielding away the tantalizing grips of heroin as the voice just beckons him in using it. It’s schizophrenic as Lennon beautifully plays the two contrasting voices. But there’s two seriously very dark and sad, yet romantic songs that Lennon nails down to perfection: “Dear Prudence” and “Julia.” Despite an album that tries to reach for epic proportions, Lennon still attempts to bare his scarred wounds which is yearning for companionship.

There’s so much to discuss about this album and I feel that there are a lot more things to discuss in terms of its themes, let alone the songs themselves. Something that’s worth mentioning is the experimental nature of the album, there’s no end to the variety of instruments that are being used: pipe organs, harmonicas, tambourines, bongos and so forth. I haven’t even mentioned the song “Revolution 9” which is this cacophony of sounds of stitched together pieces of media being played on a tape loop that stretches 8 minutes. In some ways this album mirrors the experimental nature seen in OK Computer or The Dark Side of the Moon. When the album was released, the songs must have been mind blowing for long time fans expecting their usual traditional ballads and in these current times it is still amazing.

The album probably wouldn’t rank as the one of the more common ways to introduce Beatles music to new people, but to be able to see this masterpiece in the context of their other album really speaks volume on what these guys have accomplished in crafting music into an art, rather than to sell records. The curiously bland white cover is so deceiving in terms of expressing the amount of life and energy that lies within. It is a double album that is stitched together so well with ballads, songs, anthems and short records that not one of the 30 songs can be appreciated by itself. Perhaps that’s why none of the songs on this record will be remembered in a legendary way like “Hey Jude,” “Yellow Submarine” or “Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds.” It’s the album that forever changed my perception of the Beatles being a boy band playing with rock instruments to a true pioneer into the experimental rock genre.

Four

2009-12-02T06:35:00.001-08:00

By the time that you’ve probably seen the constant posting about my previous post, “Golden Five” on Facebook, you’re probably wondering when I was planning on finishing the list, or if ever was for that matter. But I have a perfectly legit excuse being that I’m in the middle of Finals week. Although usually finals week is technically supposed to fall next week, in graduate school everything is due during the beginning of finals week which means that ours start in Week 10. It’s cruel scheduling, but at least I can look forward to finishing my finals earlier.

4. Radiohead– In Rainbows (2007)

Usually I’ll let an album whither against the test of time before even putting it in consideration of my list. But to me I believe that Radiohead’s work in 2007 is their finest among all of their other albums.

If one were to look at the genesis in how this album was conceived, it has all the barriers and oddities preventing an album of this caliber from being produced. The album’s date of release wasn’t announced until less than a week from their postings on the Dead Air space website. Although, the band finished recording their songs in January of that year, usually fans, especially from a large devoted base like Radiohead needs a considerable amount in advance to hype the album for fans. But it didn’t matter because the amazing thing is that the album was self-released by the band, divorced from their long-standing ties with EMI records. And lastly, the album was downloadable and offered at the price of the buyers’ discretion. An album of this quality where the buyer could theoretically pay nothing, still boggles my mind to this day. It adds to the further appeal and appreciation of a band that not only uses their music as a testament to their talent, but also through their actions in deviating themselves from the business and marketing aspect that unfortunately can negatively affect the music itself. I remember the day that I was able to finally download the album as it was packaged in the most underwhelming format, a crappy little RAR folder. But with headphones connected to my laptop it had to be the most exciting piece of music that I’ve listened to in awhile.

I can’t testify to being a true Radiohead fan since my first exposure was the OK Computer album that my brother lent me, but since that time I’ve listened to all their works enough to merit a full understanding of their work. It may displease many hardcore Radiohead aficionados that among Radiohead’s six older works that I would choose the most recent. But to me this album represents a culmination of the band’s pure rock style of The Bends with the deconstructivist sounds of Amnesiac. Compared to their album previous to this one, Hail to the Thief, which received mediocre reviews from critics, this album signified to me as a return of Radiohead’s place in rock.

The album is definitely the most accessible in terms of its lyrics and use of hooks characterized in most of the songs. A definite departure from their previous works like Hail to the Thief and Amnesiac where each album was centered on deconstructing the traditional verse-chorus format. But with each song there’s a return to the Radiohead of old like in The Bends of setting the songs up with a some structure of verse with an anthem that’s embedded with melody. This is probably most evident in songs like “All I Need” and “Nude” where Yorke gives listeners a look into his most vulnerable side at being a great traditional songwriter. Especially with All I Need, where Yorke echoes the hook so haunting that it is pervasive throughout the entire song.

Compared to the other albums, their opening song “15 Steps” is probably the most underwhelming album opener which is an oddity since Radiohead has probably the best opening sounds than any other band with songs like “2+2=5”, “Planet Telex” and “Airbags.” Perhaps the sounds of Yorke trying to rap doesn’t appropriately give the grandeur and buildup in suspense that this album needs in introducing its songs. But the momentum in the album rebounds with “Bodysnatchers” which I believe would have been the better opening song with it’s crashing guitar melody and dissonance that leaves everything after the song into a heaping mess. In “Wierdfishes/Arpeggi” and “Faust Arp,” I describe them as two “little” songs in the sense that they’re composed in the most minimalist fashion while still retaining a very powerful undercurrent to its execution. It’s these “little” types of songs that I scrutinize in a good album because again, they play a pivotal role in building up to the bigger sounds. Especially with “Faust Arp”, a brilliantly conceived song that mirrors a battle between two conflicting voices: York and himself.

But the biggest asset that I believe is embedded in this album has to be their song “Jigsaw Falling into Place” which convinced me that this is their best single of all time. Although my original favorites were “Paranoid Android” and “2+2=5”, somehow this song struck a chord with me as it is the most listened to song ever on my iTunes at (351 counts.) The buildup keeps the listeners on track with its rhythmic percussion that seems predictable in its direction. But as the song progresses, Yorke takes the rhythm far off it’s rails in parading the theme that jigsaws are falling into place and like other Radiohead songs, it tears the rationale of the song literally into pieces.

I haven’t forgotten that the album has been partitioned with a second part that was released in June of this year. But for the purposes of time I chose to limit my analysis to only the first section of the album although I was tempted to give praise to some other excellent songs like “Last Flowers” and “Go Slowly.” Because this is the most accessible album from Radiohead in a lyrical and musical sense it would be the easiest way to introduce their music to non-Radiohead fans. I’m torn in believing this because the epitome of what Radiohead has accomplished musically would be in their works from OK Computer and Kid A, but this album signifies, at least to me, their return to the conversation of mainstream rock.

My Golden Five

2009-11-20T08:31:00.001-08:00

It’s always been on my mind to list my five favorite albums, but I don’t want to list them frivolously like any other top five list that you see on Facebook (aka Social Living) or like a Letterman Top Ten. Music doesn’t just occupy a place in my heart where it’s purely entertainment, but it embodies my life and certain albums capture particular segments of my life. Perhaps that’s why I treasure albums in the same esteem with books. There are those timeless classics that not only define the greatness of the creator’s work, but speaks vividly and loudly about their respective generation. That’s one reason why I abhor the influx of singles in the music industry. The song could be the best damn song ever conceived, but if it’s not embedded in the context of an album then I could care less. It’s like appreciating a page from a book without an understanding of how it connects with the rest of the book.

That being said, the selection process among the five hundred or so albums that I possess in my iTunes was challenging in part because of the procedure in developing a defining criteria. There are those critically acclaimed albums that are regarded with such reverence, that omission of those albums would piss off any line of music aficionados. Or the pressure of adding one of my favorite artists of all time, but realizing that their work consisted of a lot of great singles that couldn’t formulate into a wholly great album. And then there are the few great albums that hinges on having a few really great songs which warrants my repeated listening but apart from that the album doesn’t embody a structure or overall theme.

So with all these mitigating circumstances to consider, I decided to ignore them and select those albums on the basis of what I personally consider as my life’s work. I know that it’s hard to ignore albums that have a great defining single, but in the end my decision belied on the overall body of the album. Like a great book, every song has to contribute logically to the theme and mood of the work, so while it needs to have a few of those defining songs, there needs to be those seemingly less stellar songs that exist purely to magnify those great songs.

My list may be surprising to few, but more so to myself because there are those albums that I would not have considered putting on my list until recent listening. It was hard to omit so many great albums like the way one may have to cut certain people from their list of groomsmen, but alas here’s my definitive list after careful prodding of my entire library of albums and long debates. To partition my time wisely, I decided to release number five first, and then break down the rest of the list in future posts.

Honorable Mentions:

5. Pearl Jam – Yield (2002)

I knew that somewhere on this list there had to be a Pearl Jam album, and surprisingly my selection came down to Yield. While the album did not yield commercial success, to me this represents the band’s best work.

The history of Pearl Jam has been interesting as they have evolved from a clan of angry grunge rockers from their days of Ten to now what I believe a conviction that their best band act to hail from this country, and this album serves as proof. When you look at the evolution of certain bands like the Pixies and Radiohead, the quintessential example, they are able to maintain such strong creative control in being able to protect their music from the corruption of selling out to record companies and becoming just another blip in the radar of mainstream media, and Pearl Jam is no different. Although they reached wide commercial success with the release of the multi-platinum One and pigeonholed to being that tireless act that plays “Once” and “Alive,” a long six year period is followed with protection and refinement in their music that spawns from the release of No Code, Yield, Binaural and Riot Act. The band was at their peak enjoying their mainstream coverage during the time that the grunge scene was raging and they were able to fill the large abyss that was tragically left by Nirvana. But instead of capitalizing on that success, the band seemingly faded into obscurity, while I also completely forgot that their music was still relevant.

In this six year time period of refining and experimenting with different kinds of sounds, this is the album where I believe that the band starts to finally find their voice. No longer are they content with the novelty of being the voice of a grunge movement, this album illustrates their new direction in speaking honestly about living as middle and working class adults in America. Yield kicks off with what I believe is one of their best opening songs next to “Life Wasted” (Pearl Jam) with Brain of J., that contains a real chaos of ass-kicking grunting rock but then slowly crescendos into the band packing their bags and initiating their life on the open road with a lonely highway stretching thousands of miles around America. And that’s why I believe why the album’s cover in its simplicity of showing a Yield sign on a barren field, captures the direction of this album so perfectly.

When the album reaches to “Given to Fly"and “Wishlist,” it is at these junctures where the listener realizes Eddie Vedder's acceptance with the challenges of being an adult but later embraces a childlike optimism in what the future holds for him. Then the album transitions into one of their more radio friendly songs with “Do the Evolution” with the unforgettably unique music videos of a dancing anime girl. Although I didn’t fully embrace the song because the music video didn’t seem appropriate to the theme, it’s forgiven granted that the song still has a great sound. But the album takes a turn into the main course that symbolizes the overall theme with “MFC”, which stands for Mini Fast Car. Listening to the song, the lyrics and sounds paints a picture so vividly of racing down the highway five in a car with no reservations or care about the world. The images of the windows pulled down and letting the wind seep into every crevice of the skin is especially appropriate to the band just playing music in its purest sense while untied from the pressures of corporate greed in trying to market their music. I especially love the song “In Hiding” where even the simple act of shutting oneself in the house, “pulling all the curtains down.. emptying down the mouth of every plug” can be a beautiful reality for people to take.

The album is definitely not musically accessible to everybody nor is it the traditional gateway to being oriented with Pearl Jam’s sound. But with Yield taking a back to basics approach to being straight forward rock without any additional bells and whistles, the group makes a serious argument in why they should be one of the most important pioneers in American music. No longer can people characterize them as a bunch of rebellious misfits from Seattle, but they have crafted a voice that is pervasive throughout all across middle and working class people of America.

Why I Blog (or at least understand the psychology of why people blog)

2009-11-14T08:26:00.001-08:00

It’s amazing that I’ve kept this blog maintained for almost two years (the first entry in January 18, 2008). But as I’ve nurtured and invested my energy into this site, it never occurred to me why I’m doing this. It even me surprised me that since the genesis of this site that people have been reading my posts. And then when a fellow classmate just recently exposed this website to her fifty undergraduate students for her English language learning class, it’s motivated me to continue updating. After seeing that I’ve posted over forty-five posts, I’ve been convicted to reflect to blog about why I do this.

It’s not that I’ve started blogging for the last two years, in fact, I’ve blogged for eighteen years. Of course mainstream blogging has only been in existence for the last decade, so you may ask yourself how that is possible? Well, I’ve kept writing in my personal journal since sixth grade and still keep it alive. But it all started after being fed up with the humiliation of my obesity (which may surprise many who haven’t listened to my Jarod Subway testimony). While childhood is supposed to be filled with innocence and optimism, mine could be captured by the constant jeers and side comments from my peers. Not having anybody close to share my insecurities, I remember buying a journal from the department store to set a plan to lose as much weight as I could. For the first few weeks, it worked as writing and sticking to a plan pushed me to go on a diet. But as I tried to maintain that persistence in hope, contrary to those feelings were resentment and revenge for those who insulted me. So following my plan to make myself better, I basically used my journal to vent my anger and hostility towards the people that I hated. It’s still shocking for me to visit these old entries and acknowledge whether or not I’m confronted with the same person. But I realize the self-destructive path that I was headed in by only venting towards the pages of my journal rather than actually confronting these people.

Pieces of my entries have been scrawled on various notebooks and writing pads that comprise this box that I keep stored safely in my closet. However, when I could finally own a computer, I typed all of my entries into Word and energized by the power of technology to ameliorate the effects of having cramped fingers in writing by hand. Not to say that I don’t appreciate the method of writing by hand, but the fragile and temporal nature of ideas underscores the need to for a quick unconscious stream of ideas.

When college rolled along, I was inundated with the blitz of online blogging like Xanga, Wordpress and Live journal. Initially it never occurred to me that I would want to publicize my ideas, let alone take a leap into the blogosphere. But after creating a Xanga site, I wanted to try it for fun. Before the advent of Facebook or Friendster for that matter, blog sites were the only source for social networking. As much as we spend time now perusing through people’s profiles and status updates on Facebook, back in the days we would scroll down endlessly reading our friends’ blog while adding comments the way we do now. Adapting to this trend, my blog was essentially a tool to keep in touch with my friends. There was nothing substantial that I would write about, just frivolous posts about which NBA team was going to win a championship or the hyperbolic drama that unfolds in my relationship with other people in college. Seeing no purpose or fruits to my labor, I quietly exited the arena and simply went back to continuing my offline personal journal.

As I grew older and the blogging phenomenon had calmed, my opportunities to communicate my interests in the news and happenings of the world started to fade away. We progress into the 9 to 5 world where it’s a rinse-wash and repeat cycle of being either in our workplace or home. Thus we have lost the opportunities that our school has afforded us in being able to connect with peers in having a fruitful discussion about the world. Of course I had to accept this reality that goes hand in hand with the maturity process, but the fact that I would no longer have an outlet to keep my ideas alive into the public realm continued to irk me. So I reintroduced the world with a new blog under the Blogger domain, which afforded a better design and more comprehensive format than Xanga.

It’s curious to people why I blog. Some may infer from the banner headline “Be the change you want to be” as the objective of my blog, that there’s an altruistic motive of challenging the injustices of the world. That is one true reality. With severe limitations on the types of outlets that allow us to express our ideas, I’m convicted by the power of words and communication to cause social change. I’m constantly attuned to reading the latest news and weirdly attracted to those headlines that illicit sympathy for some type of injustice caused, whether it’s an ethnic genocide, human trafficking or endangerment to the environment. But as much as I would love to discuss about all these topics, it’s not humanly possible given the time that I need to research and frame the issue delicately to not be biased towards one side. So as much as I do want to inform people about the dire realities of the world, I realize that I need to continue interjecting with a personal presence to this blog.

It’s amazing that in the course of communications technology evolving, that I still retain the conviction to write journals. But I still appreciate the fact that I’m not limited by paper and pencil so I can let my ideas run freely without the constriction of carpal tunnel syndrome. I’m still pleased with using Blogger and more so with MS Live Writer, since it’s liberating being able to blog offline. What’s next, will I jump into the Twitter phenomenon and limit my posts to 140 characters or less? With me, that could never happen.

The Delegitimizing of Education

2009-10-30T10:56:00.001-07:00

It’s a been awhile since I’ve posted as its been challenging to find time in my busy schedule. But I’ve been working on some posts, including this one, that will surface in the not so distant future. Enjoy!

School has always been just a community for learning. But as I have been further immersed in the research centered around educational issues, it has become clear that the process of schooling can never be divorced from politics. Sure no realm in life can be separated from the arbitrary nature of politics: business, entertainment, your workplace and yes, even in Washington. But in the realm of education, the overreaching hand of politics plays a more prominent and critical role than any other force. Perhaps that’s what perpetuated me into starting this post in the first place, the fact that my field of study currently and the next five years will center around education policy.

My concern about politics in education surprisingly has little to do with anything revolving around education administration which entails how people are hired and promoted. Of course that’s a level of politics in itself that warrants continued discourse, but I’m primarily engrossed with the politics of maintaining racial balance in the schools. Taking several education courses, no topic can ever be discussed without acknowledging the fact that the top students are always White and Asian American while there is a large academic chasm with underrepresented groups, namely Hispanics and African Americans. It’s not a belief or an untested hypothesis, but a simple fact that is as true as the sky being blue. The fact that a wide achievement gap exists between these two groups isn’t just apparent to people immersed into education science; I’m confident that this chasm was realized when you were looking through the yearbook and saw which groups of people consistently made the Key Club. If someone wanted to question this fact, I could throw in a plethora of statistics like only 35% of Latinos combined with African Americans graduated with a Bachelor’s Degree, compared to Whites who average 36% total.

Because it is clear that minority groups do not have a rich college going tradition, as supported by the above fact, this is traced back into the high schools in seeing which courses are taken and by whom. AP courses and IB curriculums are overpopulated by Whites and Asian Americans in an “educational arms race” of trying to compete in being a top prospect for colleges. Because these groups are consistently in the top percentage of college-goers, the competition will always remain fierce as they enroll in the most difficult courses and hire the best private tutoring. But remaining in the “backlog” of schools are the students in the college preparatory curriculum while enrolled in remedial classes: the large percentage of underrepresented groups (namely African American and Latinos). This is not a trend but pervasive in just about any school across the nation. The educational administration is not blind to seeing this racial inequity plaguing classrooms, so of course they will try to enact policies that will attempt to bridge the racial divide. However because we live in a society striving to be politically correct stricken with a moral imperative, bad policies are implemented with the determination of trying to diversify the racial balance in schools. While affirmative action and top percentage policies are geared towards enrolling more minorities into college, the bigger problem is that they are delegitimizing the primary goal of school: to train and produce the most intellectual minds for the world’s future.

One of the main criticisms about education is the issue of meritocracy and its “gate keeping” function in steering minorities away from succeeding. Because the school curriculum and assessments have been developed by Whites, merit and the standards of who can succeed cannot be achieved unless someone were to have privileged access into the White culture. This argument extends into every facet of education, where the tainted nature of meritocracy pervades into how students are graded in the classroom and even in the SAT, so that access will always be closed to minority groups. Of course, the education system today has made tremendous strides in ensuring that there’s some form of racial neutrality. In English courses, at least students will get to read books centered around African American history like “Black Boy” and “I Know Why the Caged Bird sings,” where as in the past, reading was strictly focused on Shakespeare and Greek mythology. But some things won’t be changed like in History where the focus will always revolve around studying a “bunch of dead white dudes.” Rigorous academic standards cannot be sacrificed so that more students can achieve. It may seem frivolous in today’s society about why students have to study classic literature like John Steinbeck, know what the word “rambunctious” means, understand distributive properties, recall Mansa Musa’s achievements or distinguish between igneous or sedimentary rocks, but this isn’t an inaccessible culture to all students because they have been tainted by white culture. I’m bewildered by some of the education systems that encourage teachers to adopt to the local slang spoken by the students so they can be hip, say that things “suck” and listen to T-Pain to extrapolate the fine poetry in his music. Schools can’t be MTV quality entertainment, and so is the real world; that’s why school should be the way that it is.

Stakeholders at all levels gawk at the extremely low number of minority students enrolling in college. As I glance through each page in my book for my College Access and Inequity class, it’s constantly bombarded with statistics of showing low turnout of minorities in college preparatory tracks. Although 47% of high school graduates in America took the SAT, disaggregation of race shows that only 13% (Blacks and Latinos) versus 54% (Whites and Asians) took the test. In terms of scores (Verbal and Math), Whites average 1046 while Blacks and Latinos average, 853 and 907 respectively. I don’t mean to throw these statistics to disparage the intelligence of minority populations. But college isn’t for everybody. It was and it been. Sure it’s easy to understand why Whites will often score better and it’s evidenced by high socioeconomic background so that they will have access to tutoring and extra resources. But the reason why they score higher (and I will add Asian Americans to the mix as well) is that they have been raised into a college going culture. Because of the discrepancy in test scores, there’s controversy surrounding the elimination of the SAT and lowering the weight for AP courses. But why penalize students who are capable of achieving these forms of assessments? Not only for the future students, but even for people like us who excelled in these things. This basically underscores the crux to my argument: the delegitimizing of education. If education systems are constantly trying to create ways for college to be accessible for everybody in order to narrow the racial gap, we are headed towards a slippery slope of producing a less prepared population of young people into the real world.

It is endemic to the American culture that the message for our young people is it’s college or bust. Or in California, either you get into a UC-somewhere or you’re going to end up in Devry and spend the rest of your looking for a job with a certificate in underwater systems engineering. And in no way am I saying that this is true for all the 2 year schools like Devry and the community school systems. In fact I think that many people are better off aspiring to take this route in receiving their certificate in training, working as a plumber and finding out that they’re making close to a six figured salary. Through my research it has occurred to me that these technical jobs are greatly undervalued in society, and a huge push in restoring the legitimacy of these jobs needs to happen. It’s no secret that a plumber or technician can make as much money as the next manager in a retail store, while being completely satisfied with the line of work that they’re doing as well. Is it possible that many students from underrepresented populations don’t have the aspiration to go to college? Happiness may not be attained just because someone received a Bachelor’s degree from the Chancellor. Perhaps the foreseeable future of making money at the auto shop or beauty salon on 5th street is more enticing. With tuition prices rising at an astronomical rate (I can attest to this because as of next year, UC tuition will increase 40%) , perhaps it’s more feasible to not aspire to go to college. The technical work field, especially in California is experiencing its biggest needs with the Solar Energy initiative that’s promulgated by the Obama administration and development of the California High Speed Rail on the horizon.

Therefore, the K-12 education system needs to be reformed to strengthen our vocational and technical education classes, rather than to lower academic standards. But of course the biggest criticism for this reform is that the disparity in racial groups will not only stay constant but will in fact further enlarge. However the reality is that the real world especially in America is already stratified to this configuration where certain jobs are held by specific racial groups. Wouldn’t it be obvious to minority groups to see that education systems are “dumbing down” for their sake so that they can “succeed,” thus further lowering their own self-perceptions and capabilities. Or should our school systems do a better job in legitimizing the vocational education curriculum and not making it look second class to college. Although this is a stretch, it is possible for our country to accept the racial stratification of jobs like in India where people are respected equally in the line of work that they do. Even someone who makes a living cleaning toilets will not be looked down by society.

This is a long post and I thank those who have made it this far after I’ve realized that too much stuff was discussed that’s tangential to the main issue at hand. I know the issue is shrouded with more complexity than I’m able to frame, but the American culture is too engrained with its nativist philosophy dating back to the Manifest Destiny, when white settler were pushed to the West and expanding America’s land. The indigenous Native American tribes “needed” to be taught the White-Anglo Saxon, Christian culture because they were technology and socially “backwards.” And this in many ways reflect what K-12 education intends to do, that if students cannot graduate high school on a college preparatory track, they will fail. But this isn’t the the message that should be communicated to students: getting into a UC should be their only goal. As I have been engrossed with my academic research, I hope to develop policies that will ultimately push more reforms in the technical education field.

Three Cups of Tea

2009-09-26T09:43:00.000-07:00

Three Cups of Tea by Greg Mortenson and David Oliver Relin

Instead of going through my tradition of critiquing this book based on its literary merit, "Three Cups of Tea" I'm going to highlight the things that I've learned. After getting the book in the mail and reading the first chapter, I went on a mad spree to finish the rest of the book. It is truly one of the most inspiring books that I've ever read, next to the "Autobiography of Martin Luther King, Jr."

So I will begin with a quick synopsis of the book. It starts with an American hiker named Greg Mortenson who attempts to climb one of the tallest peaks in the world, the K2, located in Pakistan. Faced with the dangerous arctic conditions, Mortenson gives up on his mission to find a way to survive and gets castrated to a remote village in Korphe. With open arms the village embraces him and Mortenson is engrossed with the culture of the village. Because the village is severely deprived of technology and resources, he notices the children congregating in an open field. An adult is overlooking the children and Mortenson realizes that this is a teacher conducting a class, but in an open space without the confines of a building. Seeing the children suffering the blistering cold while committed to learning, Mortenson shifts his purpose from climbing the tallest peak to building a school for the community.

He returns to the United States and goes back to his former job of working part time as a nurse in San Francisco. Faced with the hurdles of raising $12,000 that is required to build the school, he works long hours at the hospital while basically sleeping on the streets. With determination, he sends countless letters to various charity foundations, but receives no responses until one charitable individual is able to write him a single check to fund the building of the school. Mortenson takes the funds and is finally able to put his vision into fruition as the village of Korphe receives the school. Satisfied with his accomplishments, Mortenson travels around Pakistan and notices that the lack of schools didn't end in the village of Korphe but was widespread nationally. Now his vision is to build schools for the millions and millions of children in Pakistan. Then in the post 9/11 era of American bombings in Afghanistan, the conditions become more dire as innocent women and children were deprived from basic access of food and shelter. Mortenson continues his humanitarian work in helping large groups of Afghan refugees into a safe place while administering his duties to providing education. Throughout his decade long work, Mortenson is able to eventually build fifty five school around the war torn regions of Pakistan and Afghanistan.

There are many themes interwoven through the book that it's difficult to capture the "one" essence, so I'll just discuss two of those themes.

Human Determination
The book could have easily gone the route of glorifying Mortensons' achievements as if this was a resume for why he should receive the Nobel Peace Prize, but it never does. Although, I believe that his achievements does make a compelling case in giving him the dubious award. Nevertheless, the author does a masterful job of painting every facet of his character.

No doubt the principal characteristic that defines Mortenson is his unflinching sense of determination that supersedes any person that I will ever run into in my lifetime. The book opens up with his determination to conquer the K2 peaks in unsurvivable conditions of the high altitudes. Realizing that he needs to raise twelve thousand dollars, he returns to America where he lives in complete destitution working night time shifts and sleeping in the hallway of a college dorm. With the funding available for the school, he runs into the roadblock of transporting the building material to Korphe when he finds out that there's no bridge between the village and mainland. His determination undeterred, Mortenson goes back to the States to raise enough money to build the bridge. Later on when Mortenson is inspired to build another school in an impoverished region of Pakistan, Peshawar he is kidnapped by a group of strangers with AK-47. Kept for seven days in total isolation of a windowless building, Mortenson is finally released after a string of interrogations when he convinces the kidnappers that he is not an infidel and that his only purpose is to bring education into Peshawar. Near the end of the book in what seemed like a direction to end the book on a happy note, Mortenson brushes past life and death as he is in the middle of a crossfire between opium smugglers and Taliban soldiers wielding rocket launchers. In Indiana Jones type fashion, he jumps into the back of a truck under raw goat skin hide to escape gun fire, and heads towards a village for safety.

I've probably said more than what needed to be said about the extent in his determination to put his life on the line. In any one of these moments, it would have been easy to quit. But for Mortenson, there's a sheer amount of determination for his one vision to build schools for children that he was willing to put his life on the line. Even more alarming is the fact that he has a wife and two kids waiting at home for him. But Mortenson doesn't express these feats with ownership or an expectation for gratitude; the achievements simply stands on its own and speaks for itself.

However, the author precludes these achievements from defining who Mortenson is, as the book reveals his humanity. Mortenson openly expresses his lack of faith in himself after failing to climb the K2 and securing funds for the school. Throughout his trials, he talks about how he questioned the viability of his vision and taking the easy route of quitting. Interspersed throughout the book are his shortcomings in being so devoted to his work: failure to spend sufficient time with his family and carelessly dealing with his organization's operations. While one may admire his endless giving of time to the schools, there's a suspicion of selfishness in depriving time from his family. Mortenson does express his regrets in not being there for his family when he had opportunities. Especially because of the fact that he would spend half a year outside America in the war ridden areas of the Middle East to risk his life.

The Power of Education

In reading about the poverty that the people encountered, it was difficult to imagine why it was urgent to bring education, let alone the basic necessities like food and shelter. But Mortenson makes a compelling case as to why education is just as important as any resource that's pivotal to survival. Because the village of Korphe did not have simple health access, common and curable diseases caused many to die. Moreover, the village had a noticeable lack of children since the rate of miscarriage was very high. In the book he described how school would help train doctors to help the village eradicate rampant diseases. Jahan, a girl from the village, who became the top student at the school of Korphe was promised by Mortenson that $400 would go into her scholarship to attend the top school in Skardu to study maternal health care. Committed to his promise, Mortenson gave her the money. This is only one of the few stories that illustrates how bringing education can lead to more people like Jahan to help their villages.

Moreover, the possibilities that education can bring are endless. One focus that Mortenson brought into the scope of education was women. As an example of women's secondary status, they were still forced to wear the traditional burkha and were confined to roles in the home. Mortenson described how men in the village were impressed in how the women could be as equally educated as the men and how they could tackle higher responsibilities. Educating women became the first step in narrowing the chasm between men and womens' status in society.

More importantly, reading this book completely reconfigured my views on how to inject peace between the United States and the Middle East. It never occurred to me that the key to eradicating hate against America is through education. One chapter entitled "The Enemy is Ignorance," described a conversation between Mortenson and a Pakistani military general, Bashir where they discussed the source of hatred between Muslims and Americans. Bashir explained to Mortenson that "President Bush has done a wonderful job of uniting one billion Muslims against American," while Mortenson replied that "Osama has something to do with it, too." But Bashir reflected strong wisdom when he responded that "Osama is not a product of Pakistan or Afghanistan..He is a creation of America" and that the key to earning peace is "to attack the source of your enemy's strength.. the enemy is ignorance..the only way to defeat it is to build relationships with these people."

In the post 9/11 world, the simple solution was for American to point fingers at an enemy and launch bombs at them. If that's the view commonly held about America from the perspective of these countries, then they should be justified into thinking that way. Without reaching out to the misunderstood countries with education and bridge understanding, hatred towards America will only perpetuate. Education in schools will teach the people in Pakistan about American culture and how our political institutions operate. Conversely, extending the education in the US to better understand the cultures of the Middle East will be the key to peace as well. In times of war, bombs are dropped haphazardly with little consideration for the civilian sector and the insurance solution is to throw food aid. But if the money were to be diverted towards building educational institutions, the people will be better off in the long term. Finding access to clean water and improving agriculture techniques are ways of making people more sustaining in the future.

Through a simple story about bringing education into the impoverished areas of Pakistan and Afghanistan, Mortenson is not just recollecting on his experiences for mere pleasure, but to argue that education needs to be the new focus on bridging international relations. But for those who are not like me that treasures this book because it relates to my field of research, it represents something truly inspiring to people who want to go beyond their world. You don't have to be a philanthropist or possess celebrity status to be a catalyst for change.

The Nazi Socialist

2009-09-16T21:26:00.000-07:00

My deepest fear about the President's committed interest towards restoring social and economic equality has bubbled to the surface, adding fuel to the fire for the people against him. During his campaign, I'm sure everybody was ecstatic in the hopes that someone as inspirational as Obama was committed towards helping the poor and providing opportunities for everybody. But the excitement for that hope has now become his biggest downfall as the country has grown weary about enacting reforms that will restore social inequality. There is a growing movement, mainly from the right, that are ardent believers that Obama is not only a socialist, but more specifically a Stalinist and, gasp Hitler. Ever since he's advocated for strong health care reforms, it has led everybody to believe that this is signaling a movement towards publicizing every facet of society.

While I'm not ready to debate the merits of health care reform (that will be discussed in details on a rainy day), it's ludicrous to place the onus of health care reform squarely on our President. Have the people lost understanding about how our democracy works? The bill that may finally cement universal health care won't be entirely of Obama's doing but the collective effort of Congress, comprising of 500 or so of our elected representatives. While Obama has made it clear in his speech given last week to push for health care reform, it will be members of Congress who will get together to create this bill, whether or not it gets passed.

The President's job is complicated as it is, so he can only push the principal points of what health care reform should look like. But nevertheless the meat and potatoes of something so comprehensive as health care will be decided by Congress. Then, when Obama approves and signs it, only then can we fairly critique his decision making skills. If anything, Clinton who regretted not being able to successfully pass a bill granting universal health care made the mistake in drafting a 1,000 page proposal and sending it to Congress. Congress of course rejected it, but it served as a lesson for our current President who opted to instead to let the people decide on what health care reform will look like.

Our criticism of Obama as a socialist is a dire reflection of how our country has given up a stronger bond of unity. As I mentioned in my previous post about Obama's speech to promote education, he was vilified by parents who believe that he's crossing outside ethical boundaries in telling kids what to do. I believe that the fault of our past President has tainted the people's faith in government that it has become a religious finger wagging institution. Case in point, Bush's lack of diplomacy in enlisting terrorist countries into the 'axis of evil' and shunning them from the rest of the world. But now that a new President has come in to encourage people to work hard in school and to make better health choices, he has been criticized as being a moral reformer.

I challenge anybody to argue how encouraging someone to make better health choices is a matter of morality, when it's really an issue of pragmatism. I know some people who are comfortable with a lifestyle that's not conducive towards eating healthy food and a regiment of exercise, but those are things that have to be changed. As hard as it is to face that reality, nobody would argue that they would rather opt for a life filled with the fear of heart disease. But perhaps the last presidency has tainted our optimism for government so badly that every issue has become a debate of whether or not it is moral. The same argument applies toward Obama's push for volunteerism and there is a higher than likely chance that many people don't agree with him either. Although I believe that Obama's push on these social issues are a small gesture on his part, I applaud his efforts because we do need to be continually reminded that these are things that build communities. It pains me to see that people don't want to take a chance to better themselves or their community.

Education Speech

2009-09-04T01:05:00.000-07:00

There's probably nothing more that will grab my attention than the collision of two important spheres in my life: education and politics. I'm referring to the announcement that the White House will air a historic speech from our President into the school classrooms on September 8th. What will he talk about? He will address the students about the importance of staying in school and getting good grades. On paper it sounds like a good plan and it capitalizes on why we voted for our President into office, for the benefit of injecting hope in this country. In case you haven't heard, amongst all of the debilitating problems plaguing the nation including the continuing economic recession, the academic performance of our students have lagged far behind the rest of the world. It doesn't require extensive research to realize that the education budget has continued to face massive cuts while classrooms are being overpopulated to the point that teachers cannot dedicate sufficient attention to each student. So the President has noticed this problem and put forth the commitment to change this by speaking to every student in America to work hard in school.

But NOOO, a large group of conservative parents have voiced their concerns about the President making such a speech, even before the speech has happened! The principle concern stems from the President (or government) brainwashing children. Yes, brainwashing children to try hard in school. There are angry parents and people alike who find this to be a problem. What direction is this country heading to when people can find fault with encouragement to try hard in school? Detractors argue that the President is forcing himself onto students by NOT allowing an invitation for a "healthy debate" and obligates students to "blindly" follow him. If there was going to be a "healthy debate", I'd like to see how someone could prepare a case in arguing the pro's of NOT encouraging someone to do well in school. I didn't think so and that person should also argue why health researchers should stop trying to find an accessible vaccination to H1N1, as well.

Above all else, these detractors are fearful that the President is trying to make this a political issue and enforcing socialist ideas on our children. Socialism does not apply in this situation and shouldn't be used in the loosest of ways. To clarify, socialism primarily refers to an economic system that stresses property ownership by the state. So how does this speech about staying in school encourage people to give up rights to private ownership? Granted I understand that Obama's push for health care reform has been met with strong skepticism of socialism, but these two issues should be kept separated.

In this day and age, no figure of prominence can escape the scrutiny of the ever so evasive media and public. Of course, there is such a huge burden on the President's list of responsibilities that he cannot fix all of our problems. But it is alarming when the President wants to make a simple speech that can only be for the intents and purposes to inspire, and it can still receive unadulterated criticism. Should we be shocked that the President wants to make a speech about education? Perhaps we should since we haven't had a President that cared one bit for education in the last eight years. And it should be fairly obvious to whom I'm referring to when I say the last eight years, because who would be inspired to take education seriously when the most misguided President with the poorest decision-making skills took office in the last eight years.

I know it scares people in this nation, when someone with authority as great as the President wants to encourage, let alone tell, people to give themselves a better chance in life. It's understandable that we need to operate in a world where we are free to make decisions. But when it comes to education and the impressionable nature of children, how can there be an argument against telling a child to work hard? I remember when Obama made an important speech about education in his Presidential campaign. He voiced his concern about the low standards that parents seem to accept from their children. In some families, parents are content if their child finishes the 8th grade, let alone through high school. But Obama argued that we can't just be content with just a B-, but aspire to get into a four year college, to med school or get a Ph.D. It's this hard slap of reality in the face that scares people to realize that they possess this potential to achieve limitless greatness. We seem to live in this culture of learned helplessness where we should be content with being mediocre and avoid taking risks. So there's something wrong with the President imposing standards on someone, especially if it is for the benefit of giving the person a better chance to succeed in life.

I Could Run Like the Wind Blows.

2009-08-24T07:43:00.001-07:00

On a hot and humid spring, I remember looking across the field as my classmates were putting on their soccer uniforms. The teacher isn't going to wait for me? I thought to myself and frustrated that I was going to be even more embarrassed. Everybody finished running the warm up mile that usually preceded the scrimmage soccer, except me as I still had another quarter lap to finish. With slow and contracted breaths, I had to make either two decisions: (1) run as fast as I could so I could catch up with my classmates or (2) just casually jog to the finish line and pretend that I was nursing some debilitating leg injury. Since our teacher made the mile a routine, I always finished last and confronted my classmates' jeers. So of course, I chose to do the later in order to appear that I had some excuse why I can't avoid being last. Among my classmates, I was the heaviest and the fat jokes never ceased. Having to participate in the run, it was clear cut who were the fastest, then the middle and finally who eventually end up as last. Because I was always last, like in Darwinian society, the other students would feast on me like prey with constant banter. It's these childhood experiences that traumatized running for me. Fifteen years later, it has now become who I am.

A majority of people would agree that nothing can be more mundane than running. It doesn't involve a ball or equipment and more importantly with other people as it is purely a solitary activity. But I remember I was about twenty-six when I was figuring out who I was a person. I was constantly bombarded with questions concerning career, romance and my relationship with God. As I tried to sort these things out I didn't know where to go. At home and the office, I was oppressed by the distractions to think clearly. Then I went for a simple walk around my neighborhood as spring started in full bloom. I went around the block with no destination in mind as I could clearly see nature stripped away from the buzzing lines of my monitor and TV. Trudging along in my shoes the mood was completely serene. Faces and captures of certain moments were fully fixated in my mind. It didn't help though. I was enveloped into these images, feeling trapped. I began to accept the circumstances in my life and nothing was going to change. Here I was in this mode of therapy and it wasn't working.

But I wanted to push myself out and that's when I just began to move my feet faster. My thoughts were moving faster and changing incrementally with my speed. I was able to navigate through each facet of my life like there was a sense of purpose. Soon the houses and tree became a blur and I reached my old high school. Eyeballing the track and field I jogged through it. With large grasps for air, I slowed down trying to start another lap. But with the last reserve of energy, I finished the second lap. Stopping, I inspected every inch of that track and field in appreciation of what I just accomplished. Although it was only two laps, I couldn't stop thinking about the last time that I ran around a track, which was back in my second year in college.

After finishing that second lap, I wanted to see how much I could do the next time. Gradually, that second lap became a mile, then a mile and a half and then two miles. When I set out to finish a certain length, the next time that I set foot on that track I wasn't satisfied with running the same length. I wanted to beat that last time. Now I'm running five miles each time and looking to do more. It was definitely a slow climb reaching that point, but it's the discipline that I learned to maintain. Three times a week I'm hitting that track. Sure there are days where I would rather lay on my couch and keep watching my Netflix, but I cringe at the thought that I would be doing a disservice to myself. Each time that I miss a day, I feel the additional pain in exerting more energy for my next run.

Eventually my goal is to do a full blown marathon. It's a scary thought that I would be running for close to five hours without stopping (eclipsing the length of all my Beatles album on my Ipod.) But I have run a half marathon twice, and although I avoided any form of walking on that day, there was a sense that I could run more. The venue of the marathon is TBD as I will have to examine if my schedule next year will allow time for me train. In the midst of doing my research and working part time to tutor, I have to find a time slot to run. Whether I do the marathon this year or perhaps sometime not too late in the future, at least I'm making this commitment to myself.

There's more I want to say about this since I concocted what I was going to blog about the last time I went running, but I'll post more updates in the future. Alas, I will end this post with an appropriate quote from my favorite movie.

"Now you wouldn't believe me if I told you, but I could run like the wind blows. From that day on, if I was ever going somewhere, I was running!"
-Forrest Gump

The World According to Garp

2009-08-18T10:19:00.000-07:00

Book Review - **** (4/5)

The World According to Garp

Being a book avid, I have started to avoid the world of fiction. I was haunted by the fear that I would be wasting my time reading something that has no educational value because everything is made up by the author. Perhaps I've been trained to read books in order to increase my intelligence or capacity to understand a particular subject. But when was the last time I read a book that had the effects to, dare I say, inspire me? No doubt that this small gem of a fiction has the capacity to be funny and entertaining, but underneath the words, John Irving uses the story to inspire the mind in thinking outside the narrow parameters of this world.

Explaining what the story is about is difficult because there's no overarching conflict or theme, it just tells about the seemingly mundane anecdotes from Garp's (the main character) life . One chapter is about how Garp was conceived by his feminist mother and another chapter describes his experiences living in Vienna. But to provide a simple skeleton for the book, the main character Garp struggles with being a respectable author as he tries to overcome the shadow of his mother's success as an author. Then as he tries to raise his family, lust and infidelity pushes his relationship with his wife. In the last parts of the book, Garp challenges the feminist movement that was spawned by his mother's advocacy for women's rights and then trying to organize the disorder in his life.

When one reads the book, there is no doubt that it never fails to toy with the fragile nature of human emotion. There's no beating around the bush as the author will tinker with the characters in a tragedy of rape, sporadic episodes of adultery with people of all ages, bloody deaths and often times dismemberment of various body parts. Irving straps the reader into a rollercoaster of laughter and sadness. When you read about the characters enduring these endless incidents, there is less a feeling of sympathy but more for an education in how unpredictable life can be. In fact, if I could compare Irving's use of characters in this story, it could be comparable to what we have seen in Tarantino's movies. It's not that Irving treats his characters as meat puppets in an endless charade of human death and suffering, but he uses this incidents to advance one of the many memorable themes in his book: in the world of a writer, we are all terminal cases. One of the striking things about this book, is how the author's life will influence his own writing. The characters that Garp develops in his own story, in fact becomes a reflection of all the important people in his own life, even though Garp vehemently denies that a writer's story is not autobiographical.

There's a plethora of themes in this book that I have yet to consider including the book's take on the dichotomy of male and female roles, moral relativity and the relationship of politics and art. But the interesting thing about this book is that these themes seem to collide in a way that never get resolved at the end. Of course, every review or blog has to have a catch and that entails writing about what I've gained in reading this book. I've learned that the traditional nuclear family is more complicated than what can be conceived by the world's standards. Because each spouse comes together with a different set of experiences and ambitions, having the 2.5 kids and white picket fence may not come as a result so easily. I'm not saying that the goal towards having a stable and loving family should not be shunned, but there should be an acceptance with the random cards that we are dealt with by life.

New York City

2009-08-15T08:28:00.001-07:00

With a full week experiencing New York, I feel compelled to reflect on my trip here. Where do I begin? I've thought long and hard about how I wanted to gear this post, should it be informative (like a travel guide), a day to day journal entry or simply a holistic assessment of New York? Of course in the debate of these three formats, I elected to choose the last one. I think it would be more interesting for me to just be reflective, rather than make my points cut and dry.

For those who like to ask others about their experiences traveling to different cities, the question that inevitably occurs is if you could sum up the city in one word, what would it be? Usually that question irks me because I do not think that any one word could encapsulate the essence of this city, but I do have one that actually consists of two words: beautifully ugly or ugly beautiful. After being here in this city, I think that it's this dichotomy or contrast of these contradictions that sums everything about New York.

On the streets, New York is booming with people and entertainment. Large billboards and glitzy lights dot the skies. Tall historic buildings overlook the ground like rainforest trees and certainly draws attention as one must appreciate its size and architectural beauty. Walking the streets like fashion models, women and men alike are showing off the newest brands. These sights, which are a mainstay for New York, highlight the beauties of New York.

However in going from point A to point B, you are required to use the subways. As you climb down the stairs into the murky and dim lighted sewers, you are reminded that this is also the reality of New York. The smell of these subways which is usually a combination of long overdue moisture with the pileup of unpicked garbage inevitably clouds the vision, not to mention its disabling effects into the nose. Instead of seeing the walking billboards of name brands like LV and Coach, there are the homeless people carrying their carts that are filled with everything that resembles home to them. I hate to describe this as ugly or using some other word to demean these people, but it is the reality that it is just as real as the surface.

Just as I am able to spend time absorbing the favorable things about New York, I am also confronted with what is the less favorable side of New York. But these things cannot be separated if one were to absorb the full New York experience. So if someone wanted to ask me why I would describe this city to be beautiful ugly or ugly beautiful, this is the response I would give.

On House Arrest

2009-07-31T12:35:00.000-07:00

This is probably the most personal of entries and it's not even that personal, since I'm just going to discuss my wisdom teeth being removed. But because I have to maintain my medication schedule and not risk being laughed at from my chipmunk cheeks, I am stuck here at home. In the course of writing this entry, I also felt the need to revamp the look, after searching endlessly through different templates. So this is the third or fourth new look of my blog site.

It was yesterday where four of my wisdom teeth (two impacted) were removed, and never have I felt so much pain. In an act of courage, I opted not to be put to sleep and just had my gums numbed. The surgeon, an old man with thick glasses had a funny and yet scary way of conducting his operation. He inquired profusely about my career and life in Irvine, and then suddenly he injected this long needle into my mouth. I was in mid-sentence as I was explaining the homogeneous culture of Irvine, when I hear a loud whiff of compressed air from a syringe. Although the procedure lasted only an hour, every second felt like minutes passing. After applying the electric knife to incise the outer crust of my tooth, he would grip my head into a wrestling headlock and use all of his strength to pry the tooth off. I felt like my head was going to come off for the sake of removing one measly tooth. The lower left tooth gave him the most problem as a mini hammer and nail was required to break the tooth open. When the last tooth was broken and he told me to swallow its remnants, I was relieved that it was finally over. Before leaving, he gave me a prescription of vicodin and penicillin to be taken 3 times a day. The assistant applied two gauze pads that had to be placed in opposite sides of my mouth. It became uncomfortable to leave my mouth half opened for the rest of the day, after faithfully opening my mouth wide for the procedure.

My mom went to get the prescription as I sat home watching "30 Rock." She didn't get home until 2 hours later, and it was at this time that the medications wore off. The pain surged through my jaws and eventually into my head, as I started to lose consciousness. With the help of my brother, we rushed to the pharmacy in Daly City to grab the medicine. The helpful lady behind the counter told me to wait 15 minutes while they prepared the Vicodin. But the pain was so unbearable that my body collapsed. As I stared at the screen waiting for my name to be called, I was desperate for the drugs. I can't say that I have shared the experiences of a crack addict, but this would be the closest thing for me. Jumping over the counter to crack open every orange bottle for Vicodin didn't seem crazy to me. But thankfully, the pharmacist didn't take too long to deliver the medications to me. As soon as I popped the painkillers into my mouth, I could already feel the sweet release of pain.

The rest of the day consisted of just sitting inside the house in front of the TV and watching my netflix movies. It's just a weird feeling for me to be entrapped inside the house without the freedom to leave the house. But I knew that it was the best medication for my body. I didn't eat anything the whole day, and even if I wanted to, I couldn't. So much blood accumulated in my mouth, that I would require a few bathroom trips to spit it out. My shirt, the cup, the bathroom counter and towels are all tainted with my crimson stains. It's a disgusting sight, to say the least. Thankfully today, the pain has eased and now I can eat soup and yogurt. But every 3 to 5 hours when I feel the onset of pain in my gums, I have to reach for the Vicodins. It has been an outlandish experience for me to go through this medication schedule. But I'm humbled, knowing that I will grow old someday and have to keep up with the number of red, purple, blue and yellow pills that I have to take.

Lessons in Teaching

2009-06-11T09:35:00.000-07:00

My days as a middle school teacher at Lakeside Middle School officially ended. Although I wasn't a full time employee at the school, I felt very much a part of the school. In the year that I had been acclimated into the school, I gained a special bond with the teachers, but especially with the students. Every one of the 55 students that I had each day, I knew their full name, academic performance and personality traits. It's not like I made a concerted effort to know everything about my student, but it comes with the territory of being a teacher. The saying is true, those students do become your kids and there's no limit to how far you want to go in order to help those kids succeed. Sure, there have been some bad days (probably more instances than I would even like to admit)and those students would irritate you, rather than show an ounce of gratification. But in the end, when one of my kids shared how I helped inspire her, all of those past troubles ceases to exist. The teaching profession is the most unique out of all the other careers.

My appreciation for all the teachers out there cannot be overstated. One would have to ask why someone would choose a career that is among one of the lowest paying professions while exposing themselves to the emotional instabilities and potential contraction of an illness from a class of thirty plus students everyday. Please forgive my sickeningly pessimistic assessment, but I'm trying to voice the common sentiments that I hear from myself and other teachers. I don't believe in the view that teachers are merely glorified babysitters, because I think far too many people underestimate the unbelievable amount of talents and skills that is required for the job. But a person has to embody a few prerequisites to sustain the hardships of being a teacher. Through a national consensus, nobody would disagree that public speaking is the biggest fear for people. There are of course people who do seem to thrive on that attention, but a majority would rather shun themselves from that spotlight. A teacher has to be amazingly tough-skinned and overly self-confident to stand speaking in front of a group of students for five hours a day. Not to disparage others for making these kind of complaints, but it is curious to me when someone complains to me that they had to make a 15 minute presentation to their co-workers. As a teacher you have to be in front of an audience for the whole day starting from 9:30 to 3:05, presenting information to the students while managing the student's behavior. At the same time, a teacher has to be comfortable with students burying their faces into their desks or twiddling their pencils in complete boredom. Of course, not all students are bored and there are a few students who are busily scratching on their notepads responding to your voice as if they were receiving a call from the heavens. But a majority of the time, you have to constantly try to earn their attention in learning about something they don't want to hear about. Where as in a room of co-workers, you're already dealing with a group of like-minded people who have to at least, pretend to care about your presentation.

It is human nature to seek validation from others, but when it comes to education, a teacher has to suppress that desire because human validation is not something that one can afford to seek. Being nice and coddling to students is a pitfall to effective teaching, and that will lead kids into treating the teacher and the subject as a doormat. A teacher has to instill respect, and unfortunately that requires being tough on kids. A majority of the student will respond negatively and with project hate towards the teacher. It's not easy for students to accept being adopted by another "parent", so naturally they rather be coddled than told what to do. While teachers will receive gratification, most have to demand and sustain hateful emotions. Not everybody would sign up for a job where you're looking to make enemies, but in order to fulfill that goal of creating a fair and just learning environment, it requires being tough on the students. That may be one of the toughest things to being a teacher, suppressing the need for validation and having to potentially accept negative emotions from a group of thirty individual.

I do not intend to use this post to discourage others from pursuing this profession, but more as a response to those people who show a lack of appreciation whether it is for the reason that more money needs to be cut from education or the first grade teacher isn't doing enough for their child. Very often teachers and fellow educator have little say in what is to be expected. It is easy for the public to demand an increase in the school days for students without considering the additional workload for teachers with a lack of compensation. I hope with this post, that I can enlighten those who are thinking about entering this profession to know why they want to be a teacher.

Living up to God's Standards

2009-05-26T23:12:00.000-07:00

One of the hardest Christian principles to live up to is what is supposedly the easiest that is preached in the Bible and that's to enjoy God. Finding God gives the greatest joy, yet it's impossible (at least for me) for me to accept it. The hardest thing to shed is the fact that we can never be good enough for God's standards, yet somehow every person is innately driven to try and outdo each other, until eventually we want to overtake God. This can apply to any measurable area of interest, whether it is a hobby, career, sports, faith, etc. But when can I fully encapsulate the idea that whatever I do, it will never amount to God's standards? It's not like I'm striving to be the most rich, handsome or popular (although certain times I will fall into these temptations). But even if I'm just thinking about how I can "better" the world, it can be frustrating just trying to think of ways to serve social justice. We can attempt to engage in the myriad of causes: environmental, human rights, poverty, education and so forth, but when can we realize that we only have a certain capacity to touch on these issues? Looking at all these issues is overwhelming and selecting a cause to serve can be frustrating. How does one pick a cause and commit to it? Certainly these causes are not valued in a way that one outranks another. Although one can argue that human rights should be unquestioned as number one, how does it compare to saving the environment when that can affect the physical livelihood of the human race as well? Can one really put sex trafficking as more important than poverty? It becomes an endless debate of questioning, that one eventually loses the motivation to fight for these causes. Then all of the sudden, one is faced with the reality that all of these causes must be equal in value. The problem that I face is that because these causes are equally important, it pains me to serve in one area while ultimately neglecting to serve in the other areas. I then miss out on the ultimate goal which is love for humanity. The old clique of mo' money, mo' problems, certainly applies in this case. Although I'm not striving to make more money, even the goal of trying to serve God has its pitfalls. I guess the most important thing is to serve with a joyous heart and to understand that nobody will be good enough for God. Obviously we were put on this earth for the simple reason of enjoying what has been given to us, rather than to dwell on what we don't have.

Closing the School Year

2009-04-16T11:48:00.000-07:00

I declared my intent to enter the Ph.D program starting this September and excited to begin my long career in research. It will be a big shift going from teaching and now into research. I will miss teaching, even including the grudge work of lesson planning and grading papers. I may be giving a lecture about the social class structure of the Mayan culture which has no relevance to the student's life. As they're sitting in class, the only thing passing their mind is what kind of lunch is going to be served or what's the level of Alec's WOW character. But standing in front of the students, I relish in the role of sharing information and modeling good academic discourse. The wear and tear each day do build up, but it was all a good experience. I still have a month and a half left, before the student teaching will be over and when I leave the classroom it's going to be bittersweet.

Alot of things are winding down, as I have less than 2 weeks left before finishing the spring semester at UCI. Teaching at Lakeside will be less intensive as my students will be taking their benchmark exams, so I'm entering a new phase in my life where it's time to seek new opportunities. I can find more students to tutor, seek more volunteer opportunities, spend more time doing mentoring programs and so forth. But I realize that my time is short before I go back home for my summer break.

Today marks the 2 year anniversary to the Va Tech shooting. It seems like the event happened such a long time ago, buried and never to be uncovered again. But it was such a tragic event, that it's important to be continually reminded about the fragility of life. I apologize if I can't says this in a more graceful or beautiful way. It's just easier to count on what we don't have, then to consider what we already have. This tragedy is a reminder that we should be lucky to be able to live life.

Accepted into the Ph.D Program

2009-02-24T20:59:00.001-08:00

The email was short and quick to the point:

The UCI Department of Education has voted to admit you into the Ph.D program.

Sitting in class, I didn't have much time to react, but after pondering the implications of this email, I realize that this is a life changing event. It was only last year in Japan when I inquired to my Romanian friend about her experiences of being in a Ph.D program and then entertaining the possibility that one day I would take that plunge. But as time progressed, my resolve towards this goal became more clear and firm as I started to witness a determined conviction in reforming the education field. More importantly I began to develop an acute awareness of the mysteries and myriad of problems plaguing this country, which started with embracing a mentality brimming with intellectual optimism and curiosity. Only then, did I start to realize that I was capable of achieving limitless possibilities. Perhaps, its egocentric or self-centered that I'm realizing this as I'm writing this blog; but, when someone is able to acknowledge these abilities, I have to learn how to appreciate the journey that I took to get to this juncture of my life.

This is an exciting opportunity and after months of waiting, I'm walking a clearer path.

One of those bad days..

2009-01-24T00:19:00.000-08:00

Today, I probably had one of my worst days as a teacher. I’m not going to assign all the blame on myself as it wasn’t due to a lack of effort in engaging my class, but it was more of a lack of preparation on my part. In my fifth period class, as I was reviewing the geography of China with the student’s worksheet, it must have been an arduous thirty minutes of chaos from the students that was overpowering me. As I fumbled with my notes, trying to explain the certain physical features of the Yunnan Plateau and the vantage point of the Gobi Desert contributing to the growth of Chinese civilization, the words that spewed out of my mouth was more like background noise to the students. Granted I was reading from my notes and keeping my eyes off the students, for the first time I felt that I was giving out useless information. Not only was I waiting for the clock to hit 2:11, but I felt like dropping the notes on the floor and walking out of the classroom. The information was certainly trivial as I was just describing how the Plateau of Tibet was 13,000 feet without any context of how this could be of any interest to the students. If I didn’t see the information as important myself, how could I expect the students to find this interesting at all? I looked vulnerable for the first time, as I felt a growing skepticism from the students that their history teacher was just a fraud with no credibility in knowing history. Even the kids that I thought were usually well behaved were just chatting up a storm right in front of my face. As I saw this happening, I couldn’t even muster the fortitude to call the girl’s name out to stop talking. But in retrospect, I’m glad that I didn’t. Should I have expected today’s class to go sour with the acknowledgement that I failed to fully prepare the lesson before teaching it? The easy answer would be yes. But somehow there’s a small hope inside that I wished that the students could of at least feign interest or not even try to be disruptive to irritate the other students. I wish I knew each of their names, because certainly they feel that they can just hide behind each other. Today, I know that I’m able to suck this one up because I went in without being prepared. But I won’t dwell on this because I know that I’ve been through worse while teaching in Japan. If teaching becomes easy or within the grasp of my comfort zone, then I know that I have failed in understanding the beauty of this profession, always striving to be a better teacher. Yes there are a myriad of feel good cliques and proverbs in this profession to enliven my spirits, but to be perfectly honest with myself; I’d rather use this bad experience as my opportunity to mold myself into being a better teacher

Winter Recession

2008-12-14T12:18:00.000-08:00

Two-fifths from finishing my teaching credential program at Irvine and it still feels like there's a long ways to go. But the real challenge is about to begin as I will have full reign of my classroom and be fully cognizant of being a teacher. I know that my journey will not be met without roadblocks and I have to keep my spirits alive in order to overcome them. Going through the program, I have a great respect for the profession as I realize how it is a job that ranks among the top with other job as requiring the most decisions that need to be made per minute, even seconds. It will be hard to ensure that all my students will meet my academic standards as there will be some that will struggle. I have to face the reality that some may have already given up trying and will continue to perpetuate that attitude. But the least that I want to instill in my students is a love for learning. That to me is the most important thing, even having priority over remembering what certain philosophies emerged during the Enlightenment Age. If students can realize that school isn't about just studying enough information to pass the test, but to possess a certain respect towards the body of knowledge that they are engaging, then I truly believe that we as educators have fulfilled the purpose in giving the students a chance to pursue their goals.

Over the break I have been thinking alot about the additional responsibilities that I'm about to inherit over the next couple of years. I'm pursuing a road where I am positioning myself in a leadership role in that not only am I going to be teaching but also going through the Ph.D program to pursue an education leadership position. Studying and researching the coursework will require one aspect of my life, but after attaining my degree I will be able to hold a leadership position exuding higher responsibilities. Through my life, I've never been the type to actively take a leadership role. But as I have grown in this program, I realize that leadership can be acquired through persistence and an unwavering commitment towards a sound purpose.

Happy Thanksgiving

2008-11-27T15:25:00.000-08:00

Some people ask why I think that I prefer Thanksgiving over any other holiday. Why not Christmas with the anticipation of receiving gifts, or New Years with a chance for a renewed spirit? The value of this important day seems to have been lost in the stress of securing the necessary ingredients for the Thanksgiving dinner and the massive chasm of materialism that is Black Friday. I don't mean to diminish the value of these activities, since I'm not one that avoids participating in them, but perhaps that's why a majority of the people approach the holiday with apathy. Moreover, the cynicism about the historical context regarding Thanksgiving has also casted a dark shadow. We used to believe in the American myth where the pilgrims and Indians ate together peacefully in a feast. Putting differences aside, the pilgrims worked with the Indians as they worked together in trying to live harmoniously. But the myth has been discolored by the brutality of the pilgrims and later the settlers, as they claimed ownership of the land while killing any Indians that stood in their path. It's not a pretty reality and I don't claim to dispute that it happened and that it should be erased in our country's consciousness. Thus, it is feasible to see why people view Thanksgiving with a jaded lens.

But I think that the purpose of Thanksgiving should be more than just remembering these unfortunate consequences. It's really a day to be with loved ones and remembering what we should be thankful for. Which holiday throughout the year can we celebrate this simple act of giving thanks? No matter what stage in life that we go through, it's always a race to get what we want. But when do we have those moments where we can sit back and evalute what we have right now? It's a never-ending cycle unfortunately. So it's really a shame to see how Thanksgiving has lost the stature that it used to possess. But I'd like to simply say that it's not what we don't possess, but what we possess.

Happy Thanksgiving!

~lex

Finally..

2008-11-04T22:11:00.000-08:00

As I stared at the ballot in front of me with the words etched "Barack Obama," my eyes swelled with tears. It wasn't like I haven't seen the name enough as it has been printed on countless newspapers and signs. But it was a culmination of all my hopes in this man, finally in fruition. 3 years ago, I heard about this unknown senator from Illinois with the wierd name. When I passed the name of this charismatic man to my friends, they asked why I was endorsing Osama bin Laden? I remember being in Japan, and some of my coworkers from England and Australia even heard about this guy. As we chatted in our prep period, we'd have lengthy conversations about how the world, not just America would benefit tremendously. Now, the time has finally come.

The landslide victory isn't just a statement that the Democrats have won overwhelmingly or the ascension of African-Americans in the public office, but it's more of the reality that a piece of everybody has won. It's not just about race or ethnicity in Obama that signifies a revolution in the Presidential office. But his socioeconomic background and wide exposure to the world that has defied the long standing traditions from each President's background. Outside of the skilled diplomacy and intelligence that Obama will bring to the Presidency, is his symbol of hope. Although he's going to be busy taking care of his Presidential duties, he will continue to remain inspirational towards all people from different racial and socioeconomic backgounds that anybody can achieve anything.

I commend McCain's exit from the campaign, he was graceful in conceding defeat as he tempered the outcry from angry McCain supporters who booed at the news. His overwhelming defeat should not undermine his abilities as a politician and the tremendous campaign that he put up. If I had choose empirically on something that caused his decline in the race, I'd point to the lack of unity in his campaign, although many would argue that it was his selection of Palin. In his run for the Republican primary, his campaign showed solidarity as they were able to dominate against the other candidates. But as the weeks started to die into the final weeks, there was complete miscommunication with the direction of his campaign. There was back and forth on whether or not he should promote Obama's affiliation with Reverend Wright. Miscommunication with the staff led Palin to disregard Bush's advisors and her revelation that she would support gay rights led to disconnect with McCain's ideologies. By the final days of the campaign, McCain looked lost and his strong moral foundations were being toyed around by his campaign. All in all, I'll never forget McCain's character that was revealed through his campaign and he will always have my respect.

As Obama enters the transition of being President, he will have an uphill battle to climb. Although he has officially won the Presidency coupled with a landslide victory, he will continually be tested as to whether or not he will be a legitimate President. And he will be challenged even before he has been sworn in on January 20th. The list goes on as people will try to discredit his candidacy as President. People will point to the uniqueness in his background as an African-American. John McCain's mistake of choosing Palin, in his otherwise flawless campaign. Of course, we have 8 years of the most unpopular President of all time with a less than 30% approval rate. Or possibly that the Redskins lost, which has for 18 years somehow predicted the winner of the race. There's no taking of anything for granted.

Moreover, as I have stated in the last couple of posts, Obama will have the daunting challenge of trying to make the office of Presidency as his own. He will have to find a way to fully embellish the Presidency with his full being. Because as I have said, there has been a disconnect and that being President is only half of the battle. It won't be easy, especially since the Presidency has been regarded as the "lame duck" position for the 8 years that Bush has been in office. Obama will have to restore the loss in credibility of the Presidency to not just our nation, but the world.

I'd rather not end my post on a sour note, when today marks a day full of hope and optimism. But I hope that we can celebrate quickly upon this important victory to rid ourselves of the pageantry of politics and remember that Obama's presidency is a cry for everybody to unite and start anew.

-lex

Why I'm Voting NO for Prop 8

2008-10-30T12:43:00.000-07:00

On Election Day, Californians will be able to decide whether or not an amendment will be added to the California Constitution to state that only a marriage between a man and woman will be valid or recognized in California. After struggling through the issues and openly hearing both sides, I am a firm believer that Prop 8 should not pass.

Before I put myself into the fire of being considered a hypocrite to my faith as a Christian or that my views are too far to the left, I want to reiterate that I look at politics through the lens of respect to our nation's history. Regardless of what I hear from others as to what should drive our political ideologies, I believe that our government should be governed strictly by rationale and reason. And through this, I am implying that our religious faith should not interfere with politics, out of respect towards our Constitution and the Founding Father's intentions. We must honor Thomas Jefferson's continued interpretation that a wall of separation should exist between the Constitution and Church.

That being said, I am not afraid to put myself out in the open to be scrutinized by the Christian community. I do not dispute that there is evidence in the Bible that states that same-sex relationships is considered sin and outside the confines of what is considered moral behavior. It is important for the Christian community to acknowledge this into their faith and interweave it through their proclamation to others. However, these teachings should be restricted within the confines of our community, not the government. What many Christians fail to realize is that adding this amendment to the Constitution (in this case, California) is advocating faith through the hands of government.

The role of government is to not police our morality, but to merely protect our individual rights which includes life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness. In the past, our country has struggled with discrimination. As we have seen in our nation's history, discrimination based on creed and color have been fought through bloodshed, since these are universal human rights. Indeed these issues have little to do with morality, but more about restoring equality among people who were born under certain circumstances. Sexual orientation, the principle behind same-sex relationship is a matter of morality and driven by religious belief. Thus, it is not the government's job to become the enforcer of morality, hence why it should not promote Christianity or any other faith. If the supporters of Proposition 8 win, which commandment in the Bible will be the next to appear on the Constitution? Perhaps the 10 Commandments, making the Constitution look like the Bible.

It is important for the government to avoid mixing politics and religion, in order to avoid the long storied bloodshed that has occurred throughout history. Dating back to the Crusades where Western Europe believed in a political fight to promote Christianity against Islam, leading to the downfall of its civilization. Or as recent as Al Queda, a political entity backed by an extreme form of Islam, led to the suppression of human rights and a propaganda to cause the downfall of Christianity. State is state. Church is church. The volatile nature of these two entities should be mutually exclusive.

I'd also like to defend my views that I ignore seeing morality as a question of "black and white" or that I only have a distorted sense of "moral relativism."I believe that there is strict dichotomy of "good" and "bad", with regards to whatever prism is being used: religious or universal. I believe that the "bad"s are the forces that jeopardize the country's health and happiness. Not having this amendment pass will not cause the supposed "breakdown of our core family values." People will choose to make choices regardless if the Constitution proclaimed in bold size 22 font that marriage can only exist between man and woman.

It's very tempting to overlook at the dire consequences of implementing this amendment to the Constitution. But by adding a definition to what marriage consists of is moving towards a path of segregation and deprivation of certain rights. The country should be continually reminded of how the government has historically deprived certain individuals of equal rights based on color and gender. It harkens back to the beginnings of the Constitution when slaves, namely any person of African American descent were deprived of protection by the government and considered 2/3rds of a person and then later alleviated with passage of the Civil War amendment, outlawing slavery altogether.

In this matter, I welcome everybody's opinion on this issue whether or not you have religious beliefs. Hostility can only breed in moments of imposing someone's ideologies towards another person. Again as a firm believer in Christ, I feel that more damage will come as a result of the government imposing Christian beliefs towards others than through the absence of my own action. Even for Christians, I believe that simply voting "no"on limiting marriage to a man and woman will not change the moral strands of the country. The number one principle behind Christian belief is love for one another. The question that Christians must ask is whether or not fighting and segregating a particular group of people on the basis of a particular sin is a worthy substitute to forfeiting the entire foundations of Christianity.The initial implementation of racial desegregation was largely ineffective at the time of Brown v. Board of Education, showing that government alone cannot solve problems. Change has to be propelled by genuine and authentic motivations. Marriage will be defined by our society, and not government.

-lex

When Obama Becomes President

2008-10-25T08:42:00.001-07:00

As I described earlier, when it's January 20th, 2009 and Obama is inaugurated there's going to be a fundamental change in how he will be perceived. With his legacy on the line, I'm filled with guarded optimism that he will still retain that shining optimism that got him to where he is today. He will undoubtedly serve his country well as the next President, but I am bracing myself for the worst when he's going to be enculturated into the Presidency's role and all of the stigmas attached to it. Obama will inherit the biggest set of problems that a President has had to tackle in history. The list goes on as we are confronted with the two wars in Iraq and Afghanistan, a never-ending economic crisis that has caused recessions not only here in the United States but all over the world, the continuing energy crisis and failing health plans. Thus Obama is only going to have four years to make a serious dent into all these issues, before he will have to convince our country again why he is viable for an additional four years. The task is daunting and I believe that the days of admiring his inspiring work as a community organizer in the down trodden Chicago South and messages for hope will soon be forgotten. Through his life he has mobilized millions of people into improving their life with his message and work as a legislator, but now he's going to inherit the 8 years of destruction that 43rd has left behind.

In the rapid accountability of the media and news, the President will undoubtly be under strong scrutiny. So far, Obama has already been under the enormous media at this point and I don't question that he is tough enough to withstand public pressure. But every single strand of America that's broken will be expected to improve: the economy, education, health care, unemployment, national defense, etc. And I believe that Obama's plan to invest in the long term which will eventually fix these problems will not be looked favorably by the people. This is a nation where patience runs dry and the people want a quick fix. That's why understandably, the Republicans have focused on Obama's plan to stretch the budget by improving and adding more social programs. Not to mention, his plan to promote universal health care and invest in a comprehensive energy plan. These investments will add to the deficit and continue to slow the economy. But I believe that these necessary investments in his plan will be worth it in the future. Our reliance on borrowing money for foreign oil will be reduced and thousands of new jobs will be created by his new energy plan. Universal health care will reduce the enormous costs created by long term health problems. But all of these programs may not come into full fruition even after Obama's terms. Instead he will fight constant criticism in his four years of whether or not he will be able to improve the economy. And judging by the current status of the economy here and in the world, it is unlikely to see improvement in the next ten or twenty years.

The reality is that the success of the President's legacy will be mainly judged by the state of the economy that he or she will leave. People will always consider what is most relevant to their life as the first priority. Thus, supporting why I believe that the President's handling of foreign policy is second on that list. A perfect example is Clinton who was well qualified in handling the job as President. But it is contrary to logic in how a President can achieve an approval rating of 73% despite being impeached from Congress because of his sexual scandal and made a mistake in his handling of Somalia with Black Hawk Down. At this current point it seems absurd how a President managed to garner a 73% in the approval rating, when for the last eight years of Bush's presidency his rating has floundered consistently in the 30's. But that 73% approval rating was attributed strongly by the economy that Clinton was able to leave: a 600 billion dollar deficit reduction and the creation of 22 million new jobs. Although Clinton's economic plan in giving strong aids to small and local businesses caused the success of his economic plan, the dot-com boom played a strong role that may or may not have anything to do with what Clinton achieved. But sometimes being a good President entails being there at the right time. Obama doesn't quite have the luxury that Clinton inherited as President, hence the reason why his approval will always encounter overwhelming barriers to climb.

The insurmountable lead (many polls indicating at least a double figure lead) that Obama has over McCain in the election, exemplifies the notion that Obama is doing something right to show that he is the right candidate for the job. He has consistently defended his record by attacks from the McCain campaign while maintaining the cool composure required for a President. In the short days after he becomes President, he will be enamored by the new found fame and glamour of being the new President. Especially considering that he will be the first African-American president in history. Obama's going to get acquainted with all the world leaders who will try and test the new guy. In the oval office a big cardboard box will sit on the desk containing all of George W's belongings, and Obama will smile as he reads the congratulatory letter left by the 43rd President. But in a month or so when Obama is ready to get to work, he's going to be engulfed with the ugliness that is characteristic of Washington. Although Congress is statistically made up of mostly Democrats, Obama will have to endure the challenges in reaching bi-partisan support in order for his plans to come into fruition. But like all other President, it's going to be ugly as he will be constantlyattacked by the left-right wingers, the media, political analysts and pundits. I don't doubt that Obama's presidency will continue to inspire hope in others to help not only themselves but in their community, which has been the crux of his message. Of course being the first African-American president, will have a residual effect on other minority groups that they can strive for higher goals as well. But inheriting the job of President is less about serving mainlythe impoverished and middle class that has been so characteristic of Obama's campaign. He's going to have the responsiblity of uniting the entire Country which entails coordinating needs of all social and economic classes. Thus, I'm not so sure that we will see anymore of the Obama that the country has loved and been inspired by. But I know that I won't forget the effect that he's had on my life and millions of others before he will be inaugurated.

-lex

Breaking the Silence

2008-10-20T18:44:00.001-07:00

It's been a long time since I made my commentary on Politics. I felt that I should put a hold on my political analysis during the election, since it's no secret that I am a fervent supporter of Obama. Who would read my blog if I ended up echoing the Pro-Obama sentiments in the media and Americans? Especially at this critical juncture in the election, where the momentum is clearly on Obama.

I've been a supporter of Obama since 2005, after I had a conversation with some Stanford Law students when I volunteered at the Domestic Violence clinic in Redwood City and we discussed the inspiring rise of this charismatic senator in Illinois named Barack Obama. It was like an underground fan club as we wanted to learn more about the urban legend behind this man. Taking note of this, I went out to buy his book, "Dreams from My Father" and read it voraciously. There was something in him that immediately connected with me. A man who didn't know his father very well, traveled extensively around the world and pursued a life committed to helping others. His ability to communicate pushed me to listen to his speeches and subscribe to his podcast. He wasn't the normal politician who spoke in bold rhetorics. Instead of echoing his party's ideologies, he impressed me with his ability to cipher through the issues through a careful and calculated scapel. He set out to change Washington by adopting a policy of pragmatism, rather than appealing purely to the liberal and conservatives. Barack's wisdom as a politician resonated as he spoke with a soft, yet bold tone. His exemplifed a man who cautions the imposing of his will on others in order to advocate for change.

His story is so unique because of the choices that he's made in life. As a Harvard law graduate and finishing in the top echelon of his class, he could have easily chose a lucrative career working in Wall Street. But instead he went back to working for the impoverished community by continuing his work as a community organizer and getting people politically active. Then after losing the race to become a member of the House, Obama strived to get his place in the U.S. Senate. Yet after he became a politician, he was able to continue communicating openly to his constituents. He was an insider to Washington, yet an outsider to its elitism culture. Obama continued to preach about his message for hope and a change in politics that required looking at the issues through a critical and pragmatic lens, rather than through hard party lines. Like the second coming of JFK, Obama funneled the responsibility in fixing America to everybody: citizens and Washington. Instead of pointing blame, we as a nation must band together in unity, breaking all racial and economic lines.

When I heard that Obama was deciding for a Presidential run, I was thrilled but with guarded optimism. He was still relatively young and a failed presidential run even in the primaries could be detrimental to his entire career. But now he has defied those odds. Sadly, since he's on the verge of becoming President with the elections coming in 2 weeks, I know that we have witnessed the last days of Obama's legacy for inspiration and hope. But like all who become President, Obama will leave a different legacy, perhaps more bad than good, which I will cover in the next part.

-lex

The Veep Edition

2008-09-03T07:23:00.000-07:00

If politics is too boring for some because it has been dominated by the same demographics of 40-50 year old Caucasians, then you can kiss those days good-bye. The new faces of the presidency of 2008-2012 will either feature an African-American or female, injecting a new look that will no doubt change history. It seems that politics, especially the presidency and cabinet have always been insulated from the multi-cultural and pluralistic nature of the country. In the business world, there's Whitman, the former female CEO of Ebay and Russell Simmon, head of Def Jam. Yet politics continued unchanged while maintaining the demographic status quo.
But now with Obama and Palin entering the scene, the new faces of politics will no longer be dominated by the traditional models that we see every day on our currency. The announcements of the 2 VP's within less than a week from each other made big news with one garnering the bigger shocks. My thoughts...

Democratic Veep: Joe Biden
Admittedly, I've never heard much about this guy since he wasn't publicized in Obama's short list of VP's. I was certain that it was going to be Sam Nunn, Obama's co-author to the nuclear and chemical weapons proliferation treaty. But who can complain about the 25 years experience in the Senate with an impressive foreign policy record like Joe Biden. His presence as the VP will be crucial to dispelling the naysayers from the right wing attacks of Obama's experience. On the contrary, seeing a guy like Biden with Obama may confuse many from thinking why Biden isn't the President and Obama, the VP. But nonetheless, the selection of Biden pretty much solidified Obama's position in the race.

Republican Veep: Sarah Paliin
Who's the sexy librarian or the new secretary standing next to McCain? Joking aside and after hearing about it non-stop by the media, you have to really question McCain's pick. Of course it's easy to pick on her in a superficial way because she's only 44 and a female. However, overlooking these things, nobody can doubt that her experiences are Alaskan ice thin. So 2 years as an Alaskan governor with a second place finish in the Alaskan beauty pageant. Is that what Mitt Romney with his 4 years of governorship in Massachusetts and experience as CEO of major business companies had to face? Not to mention the fact that he was a close second in the GOP race for President. Yet McCain overlooking all these things, wanted to choose her. I mean, after witnessing the meteoric campaign that Hillary put up, it's not illogical to assume that Mccain put that into his consideration picking a female veep. However, if picking Palin to garner the Hillary supporters is his political motive, then it should be an insult to all the Hilary supporters. In terms of experience and skill, Palin doesn't even stand a chance against Hilary. Mccain is just mocking the undecided Hilary supporters if he believes that he just needs to select a female veep. I know that the media often portrays the Hilary supporters as die-hard and blind devoters, but that's because she was the presumptive Democratic presidential nominee before Obama snuck up and attacked her lead. All in all, with Palin's place as the first female VP in history, you have to feel sorry for Hilary. Not only has she made sacrifices in graciously giving Obama support and a powerful speech in the DNC, but she lost her bid as VP to an unknown Alaskan governor.

-lex

November 4, 2008

2008-08-25T18:00:00.000-07:00

November 4th 2008 will be a historic day.

The greater injustice will be the absence of voting, rather than picking the wrong candidate.
lex

let your voice be heard.

The Case for Altruism (Part 1)

2008-08-04T18:48:00.000-07:00

Our government is simply imperfect. Although you pay taxes and take the time (well at least for some people) to vote for those that will represent us, the government cannot alleviate all of your problems. With a running budget deficit that's growing close to 9.5 trillion, it's going to be awhile when we see more social programs enacting change. But it wouldn't be fair for me to say that this problem is occurring only recently. No question, that throughout history, the government has never been a reliable entity for change. Although I would like to believe that a new administration, whether it is Obama or McCain, may increase the effectiveness of government, the direction of the country will invariably depend on the collective efforts of the people.

So many social problems plaguing society like illegal immigration, illiteracy, crime, teen pregnancy cannot be simply blamed on the ineffectiveness of our government, but rather our own inaction to the problems. Economic problems like rising oil prices, the weakening of the dollar, high credit debts, likewise are not problems stimulated by the government, but it also stems from our own inaction. Yes, I said it. In today's society, it may be taboo to assign these problems as our own responsibilities. Although many are in the habit of pointing ALL these problems to the Bush administration, myself included, we are not looking clearly at the truth. Of course it is easy to blame Bush for these problems and then continue to drive his approval rate to 29%, so our cry for help will be heard by Congress. But as history has shown, change originates with the ordinary like Martin Luther King, Caesar Chavez and Gandhi to name a few.

Our newly elected in November 2008 will not be in office as the savior that will wave his wand to wipe our problems away. The president is expected to set a standard for people to follow. The standards raise to a level of expectation to help the helpless, which is ourselves. No matter what bills he signs or gets passed, our own actions as a community will triumph faster. Whoever is elected as our new chief will not be judged positively solely by the number of wars started or the nation's ending GDP. But he will be judged by how he leads the people. A president would fail to do his job if he supports a culture of victimhood, where citizens need to be dependent on the government. No, a truly great president inspires to people to take action into their own lives.

With that, I'd like to end with a quote that's often heard, yet should never be forgotten.

Ask not what your country can do for you -- ask what you can do for your country.

John F. Kennedy

-lex

Defining Love for Your Country

2008-07-15T00:02:00.000-07:00

Last night I had dinner with one of my colleagues, an Iranian guy who's aspiring to teach math and physics. What turned into a friendly conversation about life turned into a very 2 hour spirited conversation about America's reputation in the world. I enjoy conversations about the current state of our world, but it's been a long time since I've talked to someone that communicates with no inhibitions. Someone who's not afraid to speak with raw and unrelenting emotions unfiltered through the lens of political correctness. He's a very smart guy and well informed about global politics. Although he's only lived in America for about 5 years after living in Iran and Chile, he impressed me with his thorough knowledge about American history. However, to say that he's bitter about Americans is an understatement. He was unafraid to speak out loud his raw criticism of America. As we sat in the Chinese diner, I felt awkward at certain times, making sure that his vilifying remarks of Americans would not stir up the customers around us.

Our conversation started with a whimsical agreement that as Americans, we are viewed in the world as being spoiled. It didn't bother me, since this was a subject that I'll concede. But as we probed deeper into the topic, the underdog and hostile feelings inside him erupted. Instead of being his colleague on the other end of the table, I suddenly became the discriminating immigration officer and job employer. My applications have been passed many times because of my last name. Those two white girls got the job and not me. The volume of his voice reached to a point where I turned to look at the exchange student to make sure they didn't overhear our conversation. It didn't bother me that my friend acknowledged this episode of discrimination. But it bothered me that he was exposing this situation to me and I knew that his feelings were in every way valid. He reiterated that because of 9/11, he can't find a job and has to work at various labor jobs. I was silent for a moment, not sure how to respond. It was impossible for me to find the silver lining in the cloud, which is usually my first intuition when coming across a negative situation.

But I tried to reason to him that discrimination is a cyclical aspect to society and that they will usually phase out. The most recent example, being when the Japanese were forced to give up their homes and property, to be transported to internment camps during World War 2. However, in a few years after World War 2, Japan and America had been able to patch their situation back to the status quo. It's been 7 years since 9/11, and hostility towards Middle Eastern still remains in the nation's subconscious, since our country is in an ongoing war in Iraq and potentially in the future with Iran. Conceding to his point, I looked at my watch, not sure if I wanted to bring up any new topics.

Quickly, he moves the conversation and criticizes our country's lack of universal health care. It bothered him since almost every country, even developing countries like Ukraine and Sri Lanka can provide it for their citizens, which to me is shocking. Just about every European country and even Chile has universal health care. My stand is that universal health care should be an ideal goal for our country to adopt, but its not pragmatic at this point because of the current administration's overspending. Also, I reasoned with him that it's not a valid comparison to our country since we have much more illegal immigrants living in this country than they do. However, since he's worked at fast food chains, he's seen the reality of his old coworkers making only $4.50 an hour. With that kind of salary, is it fair to expect someone to be able to support themselves and their family? I've never worked at a fast food chain, so it wouldn't be fair for me to disagree with him, but I started to understand his point.

His whole reasoning is that as immigrants, in a country largely composed of immigrants, strive just to be happy. The problem with this country is that too much blame is placed on immigrants. A majority are employed by businesses so that they can cut corners on their cost. The government also shares this practice, as they try to hire cheap labor to clean parks and the streets. Yet the government is quick to blame their problems, whether its our oil prices or environment on immigrants.

The last thing we talked about was the touchy subject about the Iran-Iraqi war, as he condemned the U.S. for selling arms to gain profits and for the benefits of watching these two countries tear each other apart. It troubled him that millions and millions of Iranians died as a result of the war, while our country continues to parade the 9/11 tragedy so that we will never forget why our country is fighting in Iraq. Our conversation hit an unfortunate high point when he exclaimed, "3,000 died from 9/11! That's it, compared to the millions that died from the Iraq war." A few eyes darted our way, and I try to give some assuring looks to alleviate the situation. He was breathing heavily, as he began to recollect his thoughts after realizing what he just said.
Speechless, I picked up the check as I led him through the door.

It's interesting how we express passion for our countries. Some are indifferent to it and some take it in a very personal way. As Americans, a country purely founded by immigrants, where does our loyalty lie? It's easy to say that our loyalty lies, not so much with our nation's culture, but with hope and the "American dream." The American dream being the ultimate pursuit for happiness and a good life. Yet some people, mainly immigrants who are drawn to that dream are being condemned for their very own cause.

July 4th

2008-07-04T03:54:00.000-07:00

In the midst of celebrating with beer and patties grilling nicely on the coals, I think many of us will forget the importance of this historic day. What is it about July 4th that holds so much importance to warrant a holiday so that we can miss work? July 4th was the date that the Declaration of Independence was signed and adopted. It marked the birth of the United States, and not only that, but the birth of freedom and Democracy. But why is that relevant to us?

Understandably so, it is difficult to wrap these broad principles of freedom and Democracy into our heads in the course of our busy and demanding lives. Let alone, actually appreciate these principles which are the foundations of our great country. How can a document and the adoption of it be so important? The adoption of the Declaration of Independence is only one aspect of the process that makes July 4th so special. We have to understand the circumstances leading up to the adoption of the Constitution and its impact through the future.

But let's try to imagine what it was like in 1776 and the months preceding the signing of the Declaration. As we all know, America consisted of the 13 colonies, composed of men and women who traveled from Europe to make a new life. However, the country had been under the control of the British Empire. Britain basically controlled the world with a greatly expansive empire and a naval fleet that no country could stop. Although the 13 colonies had to adhere to British authority, the colonies prospered with their own state governments and creation of their own culture. However, after the British suffered huge losses from the French-Indian war, they levied a series of huge tariffs and taxes to make the US pay for its enormous war debts. Not only that, but to prevent future rebellions, the British passed several acts to limit the colony's freedom to assemble.

So I'll pause there to assure you that I'm not going to try and bore you with mundane details about the American Revolution. But a fighting spirit was being bred as the British, in the eyes of many colonists, took unjustifiable actions towards the colonists. Thus, the colonists had enough of being bullied and initiated the first war against Britain. After a year of fighting, the British began to build momentum as it won a decisive victory in the Battle of Bunker Hill forcing the colonists to retreat.

After this war, the Continental Congress assembled to decide the fate of the country. With the colonists on the losing end of the war, serious considerations had to be made about withdrawing from the war. The colonists were dealing with the most powerful country in the world and there were uncertainties about how many more lives were at stake.

Since the beginning when the colonists founded the United States, all of the local governments and laws had been derived from British control. So, now Congress was dealing with a serious matter in severing all ties with the British and creating a new government from the ground up. But in the midst of all these setbacks, Congress, consisting of many important men like Adams, Franklin and Jefferson knew that a gamble had to be made for freedom. The government was originally founded on abiding to the King of England who resided thousands of miles away and gained his royal title simply through family accession.

However, these men wanted a government created by the men and women who lived in this country. Power was not going to be assigned to a ruler who had never set foot into the country or knew what was best for the country. Instead of all the power concentrated to one individual, it was going to be shared among a group of people that truly represented the population's interests. So these men took the bold step in creating the Declaration of Independence and adopting it into the country's foundation. With the Declaration of Independence as the colonist's flag in the fight against the British, the colonists defeated the Brits and won America's independence.

It is easy to take freedom for granted. We hear through the news about successful rebellions in various countries taken over by a mother country. However, since the time was in 1776, the colonists could not have been assured that there would be success in their mission. The colonists could have acceded to the British forces, by declaring defeat and preventing the death of more citizens, but desire for freedom rang louder.

So thanks for reading this post, and if you got this far, I only hope that I've illuminated a certain appreciation for this historic day. Enjoy the day!

~lex

What to do with High Stakes Assessment Testing

2008-06-25T21:27:00.000-07:00

Yesterday as part of the assigned reading, I read for the first time about High Stakes Assessment Testing (HSAT), today I was unexpectedly standing in front of 40 of my classmates giving a speech about why our team is in favor of the testing. Although, the reading did some service in providing knowledge about the controversy surrounding HSAT, I never thought that I had enough of an opinion about the topic to confidently speak about it. Now it's a fascinating topic to me and I hope that I can voice my approval of the testing.

In a nutshell, HSAT is a product of the 2001 No Child Left Behind Act which was passed during the Bush Administration in response to a nationwide trend showing falling results in student's performance in schools from K-12. The Act simply wants states to set certain education standards for all schools to meet in order for students to attain the required basic skills. Of course this may sound vague, since each state will have its own variation of the program. But the Act increases accountability on the part of all schools, district and state so that students will in the end have to meet required standards. The logical step in conjunction with the act is enforcing an examination for students (3rd to 12th) to take so that the state can determine whether or not they meet the standards. Hence, the administering of the HSAT which is subject to controversy from parents, lawmakers and teachers, alike. Although enforcing the test may have its negatives, in the end I believe that it is crucial that educators use the test.

First and most important is the fact that HSAT ensures that students will have to acquire basic skills. The controversy rages because not many people are sure what "basic skills" are, since it can be open to many possibilities. But "basic skills" are simply the barebones subject of math, science and english. Each of those subjects have foundations that have to be mastered in order to advance to the next level. We're not talking about testing social science, which of course can be opened to many different interpretations depending on the learner. But math is a "cut and dry" subject that can only lead to one answer. Although science is founded on some theories, there are tangible basic skills that can be tested. English, in its stripped form, contains certain basic skills that need to be mastered which includes grammar and reading comprehension. Critics argue that the exam fails to test questions regarding poetry interpretation, essay writing or critical responses. While I agree that those skills are important as well, it is not feasible to have those results processed in a timely manner. Plus grading on those skills will require evaluating them subjectively by various teachers and outside graders.

Everybody remembers taking the high school exit exam at some point in their life (In California it is CHSPE). Chances are high that if you're reading this you've already passed your high school exam with flying colors. Some students pass the test and get to graduate. However, if some students cannot attain a proficient score, they get held back from graduation. Some argue that the test is unfairly putting students at a disadvantage because it is either too hard or racially discriminating. While I cannot comment on the later point, I disagree that the test is too hard. In California, when you're a senior taking the test it is predicated on meeting 8th grade standards. I'm not sure how those standards can be deemed too difficult. I agree that 8th grade standards contain certain basic skills, so a student who is graduating in high school should meet those standards.

My next point deals with the larger picture of why having HSAT is crucial for our education system. Nationwide, policymakers have to deal with a ton of districts, not to mention schools (K-12) in determining where students are succeeding or failing. A report from each school detailing the pass/fail rate from the administered test and a demographics breakdown of the results will tell policymakers which schools are doing well. Critics argue that tests are just a subjective way of determining student's success and do not keep into account other useful information like student's social, leadership and interpretative skills. I agree that the aforementioned criteria are crucial in evaluating the student's success as a whole. However, again, I do not believe that our education system possesses the necessary resources or financial backings to make this a viable reality. Plus, the examinations only test whether or not students have mastery of basic skills which contains either a right or wrong answer.

The biggest argument against testing is that requiring students to pass these tests inhibits the teacher's flexibility in creating a well rounded cirriculum allowing students to think critically and value its content. With the limited time that educators have in their profession, I agree that to a certain degree that testing does put a huge amount of pressure for teachers to make their content test driven. But requiring the test does not necessarily expunge all of the teacher's flexibility and creativity in the curriculum. Teachers can still implement the basic facts and skills required from these tests, and still motivate students to think independently and draw value of the content into their life. While critics argue that the system strips all of the teacher's sense of autonomy, I believe that teachers can still make their curriculum enlightening while ensuring students will pass the examination. I'm not presuming that it will be easy for teachers to do this, but the reality is that teachers have to respect remedies that are best for the student's future, which also includes honoring a system which will allow students to attain certain basic skills.

It is an inevitable reality that until we die, we will always be tested, evaluated and judged in some way. Tests are administered in all careers if we want to become a government worker, lawyer, engineer, doctor, teacher etc. While this is a grim picture of our society, there are no other ways to ensure that standards are met. So even learners at a very young age need to acquire these skills in order to become successful.

~lex

Experience in China

2008-06-21T16:06:00.000-07:00

* The government monitoring of internet is no joke as it has resulted in the long delay of this blog. I learned this first hand as my blogspot and access to my IM was blocked. So sitting with a dusty old Pentium computer in the late nights of my hotel, I wrote this post while replacing relevant words like "China" with "England" and "Taiwan" with "Indian," in order to disguise myself from the government. *

Being here in China has given me a better and more complete understanding about Chinese culture and the people. In no way am I claiming to know everything about China or make overgeneralized assumptions about the people or culture. But I have come to understand why things are the way they are. As a Taiwanese-American and a product of a pro-Independent Taiwanese family, it has been difficult for me to embrace Mainland Chinese people without skepticism. My experiences have mainly stemmed from the mainland Chinese people that I have encountered in the U.S. and in Japan. Admittedly it has been a polarized "us versus them" mentality, where I always felt a sense of hostility. Although we are Chinese in the overall sense, there's always a struggle to decide who should be the true Chinese. As I listen to the news and from family, I have shared this fear that the Mainland is a greedy empire trying to strip away Taiwan's long established culture and identity. So it is easy for me to feel that all Mainlanders are overly assumptive about my culture and exerting entitlement over my being. So it has been a bitter resentment that they have a "overly prideful attitude and insensitivity towards anything foreign to their culture."

However, stepping into China and getting a glimpse of everyday life has contributed to a better understanding about the people. It has only been in this context, where I am constantly surrounded by the Chinese life and people, that my assumptions about them are premature and ill conceived. What bothered me most was their complete lack of individualism. Of course living in America, and being Chinese, we are constantly trained to constantly nurture our individualism and developing an independent sense of mind. It bothers me when a person is unable to challenge society in any way or conversely, maintain this strict loyalty to their country. I guess the fact that a person could display this kind of loyalty to their country translated into personal resentment towards me since I strive to think independently. By sharing this resentment, I never cared to understand why and how a person could develop this lack of individualism. However as I have gained a more complete understanding about this country, I realized why it is important to keep a mentality of putting the good of the country over individual self in every aspect of society. Historically, this country has been ravaged by war and constant bullying by other countries through war and colonization. This experience was especially glaring as I toured the museum in Nanjing, where my sympathy for the people was awaken as I saw the tragedy in World War 2 unfold in such a brutal and humiliating way. Of course the Nanjing incident is among many incidents from World War 2, and the people are just trying to shed that past and establish a new image for the future.

It is a culture shock when people are accustomed to not respecting your personal space. Of course I was warned about people in Shanghai being especially rude, but it never occurred to me until I was walking into an empty street and this guy shoved me from behind without so much as a gesture of acknowledgment. While I don't condone societies that respect certain human etiquette such as this, I have come to an understanding why this is a common occurrence. Everybody in this country are in it together, forming one united mind and body. Nobody is unique. The need to accommodate one's personal need is frivolous in the big scheme of things, as long as everybody works together to become successful. When I requested an extra pillow or another glass of water, I was puzzled why it was always accommodated by a weird stare. Especially since I look and act Chinese, it must be even more of a foreign concept to grasp, to see me ask for special attention in anyway.

The landscape of China is constantly in construction. Everywhere you go, new buildings are either being constructed or expanding to new areas. This is of course especially felt in Beijing with the arrival of the Olympics. As the country is going through rapid developments and catching up to become the premier power of the world, this tremendous shift has not streamlined smoothly with the citizens. The country is still a dichotomy of the old and the new. The streets are occupied by newly fast and luxurious Audis and Lexus' yet they are sharing the road with people still riding laboriously on rickshaws and rusty bicycles. As we sit in our taxi, the driver zooms perilously through pedestrians consisting of salarymen in 3 piece suits and old farmers carrying buckets of water on their shoulders as they walk across the street. This is a telling sign that the old generation has yet to catch up with the rapidly developing new China. New malls are popping up everywhere. Many brand names like LV, Coach and Hilfiger are capitalizing on the plethora of opportunities to make their presence known into China's rising economy. Yet the stores are barren with customers. Merchandise and shelves are littered with dust, and the oversupply of employees sit idly while waiting for someone to come into their store. China is embracing the motto of "build first and worry about the environment later," where companies have to capitalize on the short availability ofproperties in order to spread their businesses, while banking on the vision that the people will eventually have the capital to make these businesses sustainable. However it will be a matter of time, when the gap between the upper and middle class will be reduced in order to make this model viable.

~lex

At the Silk Market

2008-06-21T10:13:00.000-07:00

Price setting and bargaining is the only way to purchase something at these Chinese street markets. Some are reasonably good and some are just ridiculous. We went to this one Silk Market in Xidan, where a merchant trying to take advantage of our American heritage, took it to new heights.

(A= Me / B=Merchant)

* as a note everything is spoken with my mostly broken Chinese, but she speaks to us in English.

(Eyeing this knockoff Quicksilver sweatshirt)

A: I'm interested in buying this sweatshirt. How much?

B: (Pulling a calculator) Okay this sweatshirt used to be 1854.00 RMB, but for you guys I'll give you a special discount for $550.

Of course she pulls the calculator out because the numbers are beyond her English vocabulary. So, keep in mind that about 6 RMB = 1 US dollar. Do the math, the sweatshirt which used to cost $309 is now $92.

A: (Laughing) That's ridiculous, this is way too expensive.

B: I'm giving you a special deal, this is what they charge in America.

A: No, in America this is about 90 RMB.

B: No way, I know America this is their price. Where are you from?

A: America.

B: Oh.

B: (handing me the calculator) Okay you show me how much you want for this sweatshirt.

A: (after considering that this Quicksilver sweatshirt is about $21.64 after tax and anything knockoff is an automatic half price slash off) Okay 100 RMB.

B: (she stares at the calculator in disbelief) No way, this is good quality sweatshirt, okay 400 RMB.

A: (My mom then comes to our rescue, and we explain the situation to her) We'll buy this for 100.

B: No, 400 RMB. Are these your 3 sons? Wow, they're so handsome.

If I had a dollar for every merchant that said I was handsome in order to get me to buy something, I'm sure I would have been able to afford at least 3 of these sweatshirts.

A: Okay, no thank you. We're going to go home. (So I handed her the sweatshirt and calculator)

We leave the store, but the merchant had her talons locked into my mom's arms, still trying to persuade her to buy the sweatshirt.

A: We don't want to buy! (So I try to detach the woman away from my mom, but she wasn't budging)

B: (in desperation) Okay I'll sell it to you for 100.

Handing her the 100, we bought the sweatshirt.

So there we go, a sweatshirt originally "$309" down to about $16 bucks. Bargaining has never been a surprise to me when I travel around Asia. But I've never spent that much time trying to bargain for something like a sweatshirt.

Obama Clinches

2008-06-04T11:30:00.000-07:00

In a historic day, Obama has finally clinched the Democratic nomination *

*Despite Clinton's unwillingness to concede this fact and allowing the lines to divide the party, in either case, I can finally have the assurance that the campaign is building towards the general elections.

On the bright side, those 3 months that I anticipated the Democratic race continuing onto, went by surprisingly fast. It was tortuous, because of the complicated nomination process, to have to wait 3 months for the Democratic winner to emerge after McCain already clinched his. With the amount of time that McCain has been able to buy, I feared that the race would escalate into an all out war allowing each candidate to effectively degrade each of their reputatios. However, after a few Reverend Wright remarks here and there and more information about Pennsylvania workers that we care to ever know, neither Obama or Clinton has suffered that much damage. Although Clinton would have to regain the trust of the American people since her inability to be entirely truthful has been exposed, with her fabricated stories about the treatment of cancer patients and her ordeal in Bosnia.

But I think the big question to come will be Obama's running mate. Of course speculation is rampant given the diversity of this Democratic race with an African American and a female candidate running, there's growing anticipation that the running mate will not be the traditional 40's + Protestant Caucasian man. A ticket with Obama and Hilary, will be hard to beat since the combination of those two have generated, by far the biggest Democratic race in history. However, if Obama were to really enact his ideals of change into his policy then he would be wise not to go with Hilary. I think John Edwards would be the perfect running mate, given his experience and ability to garner the white working class votes.

So as we head towards November this is going to be an interesting race, and I don't doubt that it will go down to the final vote.

lex

Acceptance into UCI

2008-05-21T11:24:00.000-07:00

After a mad rush, taking numerous tests in order to fulfill the prerequisites and sending my application late after the deadline, I received an offer from UC Irvine into their Masters in Education in Teaching program. Applying to the school was basically shooting in the dark, as I applied a month after the deadline since I had just come back from Japan and was still in the process of taking the tests. Not to mention, it was the only school that I applied to since all the other schools already started.

It's going to be hectic for the next year and a half, as I am starting school June 23rd. I only have 4 days after coming back from China, to get adjusted to America and move in to Irvine. Intially, it will be tough to go through this change so drastically, but in the end I know that I have to deal with making certain sacrifices in order to achieve my goals.

It's come full circle after graduating from Riverside and I'm back in proximate distance from that area. Time to shed those metrosexual clothes into Quicksilver, Volcom boarding shorts culture.

lex

Yes Mrs. Clinton

2008-05-19T11:28:00.000-07:00

This morning, I thought it was funny that Clinton sent a message to Obama that he shouldn't act like he's won the race as the party's nominee. I'm not sure if the newspapers have stopped arriving at her door, but everybody is concluding Obama as the party leader. Last week, Edwards made his long awaited recommendation and gave Obama 19 more delegates. Today, Senator Robert Byrd made his recommendation on Obama, wiping doubts that even a former Ku Klax member would endorse an African-American. Last week, Time magazine even dubbed Obama as the winner on its cover.

So while I admire Clinton's doggedness in the race, I don't understand why she's criticizing Obama's strategies since his best interest is to not only win the Democratic race, but to win the general elections as well. In all fairness, the only person that has not publicly acknowledged that Hilary is completely out of the race is Obama, himself. Today he responded to her remarks by saying that he won't even declare himself the winner of the race even if he wins enough pledged delegates to clinch the nomination on Tuesday.

Wasn't it just 5 months ago at the beginning of the race, that Hilary was focused on undermining the Republican party and not acknowledging Obama's presence in the race? Yes, the tides of election campaigns shift dramatically and we can never predict what will happen next, but even Hilary has to acknowledge that her party loyalty has precedence over whoever clinches the nomination.

I'm not looking forward to this Democratic race continuing into possibly June. While Obama and Clinton are going to fight it out, the "other side" is just sitting there gaining momentum and cracking jokes on SNL. The race is just going to be filled with more confusion as Hilary will buy more time by trying to overturn the rules of the entire Democratic system of selecting a nominee and lure Michigan and Florida into the race. So all I can say to Obama, is to keep looking to McCain.

Donating Money to the Quake

2008-05-14T11:25:00.000-07:00

I was listening to NPR this morning as they featured an East Asian Professor discussing the relief efforts to help the survivors from the earthquake in China. He praised the Chinese government in their efficiency in getting help to the survivors and their openness to the world in reaching out for aid. Also, he provided information on how we can help, through donation of money or commodities to various agencies in the US.

One caller chimed in with his opinion that we should not help the relief efforts because of the Chinese government's handling of the Tibetan protests. The caller, also added that helping the government would continue their oppression of the Tibetans. Thus, as "responsible citizens" we should not have sympathy for China's efforts in rebuilding.

It digusts me how someone can make such an irrational connection of events. Although I am one of the believers that China should be condemned in their oppression of the Tibetans, that should not have any bearing on a natural disaster, like the earthquake, occuring in the absence of any human intervention. So far the news has been mostly positive about the Chinese government's response as they have moved 2,000 soliders into the epicenter to help rescue surviors. Also, suprisingly is the fact that the government has been very open about the earthquake, as they feature the event 24/7 on Chinese TV. Usually, the media in China is prone to concealing natural disasters to the people. So if anything, the response to the earthquake has shown that the government is taking better steps in being honest to its people and the rest of the world. Perhaps, it will likely lead to positive steps in mending relationships with the Tibetan community.

The caller ended his call by giving his last thoughts on the corruptness of the Chinese government. In response, the Professor reasoned that even if you don't believe in China oppressing the Tibetans, then you should consider that the epicenter is composed of Tibetan communities. Hearing how the Professor had to make this justification was pretty ridiculous and shows how ignorant the caller was.

lex

Earthquake in Central China

2008-05-12T11:38:00.000-07:00

After blogging about Myanmar just a couple of days ago, I could not fanthom that another natural diasaster, comparable in scale, would hit. At this time, 9,000 have died in the Sinchuan area after a 7.8 earthquake hit on Monday. What is glaring, is the fact that 900 students were trapped in a school after a toxic leak. With China already dealing with widespread inflation, Tibetan uprisings and their poor global image, this only adds to their series of problems. But compared to the situation in Myanmar, there is more optimism in the relief efforts, as China is much more willing to accept foreign aid since there is already an established base of foreign entities and position with the Western nations. But it is difficult to imagine how this country will cope with this problem.

Not to sound like the situation revolves around me, but as some of you know, our family will be going to visit China on June 9th. Although it is easy to make an irrational assumption that another earthquake will hit China, but it will be tough sustaining an optimism in the trip. I was very excited about going, before I heard about this on the news. Especially since the earthquake was well felt in Shanghai and not to mention, even as distant as Vietnam. So please pray that our family will be safe.

Reaching Out Support for Myanmar

2008-05-09T11:39:00.000-07:00

Although I'm back in the U.S from Japan, there is still a place in my heart for the people in Asia. Which may be an odd thing to admit, since I am Taiwanese, but the feeling of Asia is still fresh in my mind. Most notably, is the crisis in Myanmar. Cyclone Nargis, that has devastated the country and killing, at this time and believed to be 100,000. Although this is and can potentially be, one of the largest natural disasters in history, it may be difficult to measure the gravity of this situation, in the scope of our everyday lives. I think our country is having a difficult time as it is trying to cope with the plethora of problems, ranging from the rising food and oil prices to the mounting deaths in Iraq. Not to mention the fact that our economy is still recovering from the unprecedented recession, that this country hasn't seen since 2001.

So in trying to quantify the amount of damage done in Myanmar, although it is open to debate, it does shed light on how small our problems really are. But since our problem deals mostly with the current Administration's inability to handle the economy in the most effective way, it should not preclude any sympathy for the possible death of 100,000 and climbing in Myanmar. Putting the confirmed number of people dead aside, there are the surviving people who are experiencing a lack of all the necessary means for survival. We're not talking about a scarcity in gasoline, rice or corn, but drinking water, food and homes. Not to mention, the outbreaks of disease coupled with lack of access to medical facilities, that will only further aggravate the situation.

It doesn't seem possible that the government is willing to block foreign aid that will only help the people. This speaks very loudly about the militia run government that will do anything to stop any Western or Democratic institution from asserting any influence on its people, even at the expense of killing its own people. The people have been unhappy since the beginning of the Burmese military run regime in 1967. So the cyclone has been the tipping point, for the people to unite and try to voice their discontent with the regime.

So that shouldn't discourage us from trying to help bring aid to the people. It will only be a matter of time, when the government will be forced to accept foreign aid. I hope that efforts will continue in pressuring the regime to open talks with the United Nations and to listen to its people.

-lex

2008-05-06T09:06:00.001-07:00

Foo Fighters lyrics

Having to Say Goodbye

2008-03-15T00:11:00.000-07:00

I can feel the end of my opportunities as a teacher drawing near. It`s a blessing for me to finally adequate myself with private time to enjoy Japan before I return to the States. But saying good bye, to all the teachers and staff is still a difficult thing. I believe that it is in the nature of education, where the bonds existing between the employees are stronger than any other career. I could be wrong, but I remember my years of working in a company as an office worker, and that it could only bring forgettable relationships with my other co-workers. But in the 7 months of working at Eagle, I hope to continue nurturing the relationships that I`ve built with the other teachers. Even the once in a week work at the YMCA, still has given me good relationships.

Its a bit early to blog in its entirety about my feelings leaving my co~workers since I will continue to have small teaching jobs before I truly leave Japan. The full emotional impact will surely hit once I officially land in San Francisco. There`s only time to maximize my opportunities to hang out with my co~workers, and of course, many more drunken karaoke nights to look forward to.

The Beatles - Blackbird

2008-03-10T06:35:00.000-07:00

In conjunction with my current obsession with "The Beatles"

Blackbird singing in the dead of night
Take these broken wings and learn to fly
All your life
You were only waiting for this moment to arise

Blackbird fly, Blackbird fly
Into the light of the dark black night.

Black bird singing in the dead of night
Take these sunken eyes and learn to see
all your life
you were only waiting for this moment to be free

Blackbird fly, Blackbird fly
Into the light of the dark black night.

Blackbird singing in the dead of night
Take these broken wings and learn to fly
All your life
You were only waiting for this moment to arise,oh
You were only waiting for this moment to arise, oh
You were only waiting for this moment to arise

My posts will be very infrequent, due to the extremely inconsistency in my internet connection. I apologize.

Miss Trunchbull

2008-03-05T06:07:00.000-08:00

This post is appropriately titled after the cruel teacher in one of my favorite books of all time, Matilda. There's little difference between her and my current head teacher at Eagle.

Today was a chilling reminder of why I hate my head teacher, which we will call Miss TB. She is only at the school annually for an average of 4 weeks. Yet, somehow she can unleash so much hell in those 4 weeks to compensate for the rest of the days in the year. To make my case, there are so many specifics that I can get into. But it will be better to break them into smaller bits.

So I'll start off with why her first day coming back to the school, resulted in such catastrophic events that will impact the next few weeks. As I mentioned before, the days to our Happyokai performance is drawing near. 3 teachers, including myself, have been working tirelessly with these kids for a month and a half so that they can do a show that will be 3 hours long. The show is this Saturday, so today being Wednesday, there's only 3 days left. You would think that any major change at this point, would be completely futile and counter-productive, but that doesn't affect Miss TB. We went through our practice with Miss TB watching it for the first time, and to say that she wanted to tweak a few things is an understatement. In the first phase of our performance are a series of songs with the tunes of "Twinkle Twinkle", "This Old Man," etc which I play on the piano. Miss TB hearing the students and not feeling like it's perfect, blames the piano for not doing enough to push the students. Granted we are using an electronic keyboard that she uses for the school, by the student's standards, is already loud enough in volume for the them. But she wants the sound to play through CD player which will be "louder", so that means that I have to play the piano and record it on a cassette tape through the CD stereo player. The whole point of a piano is its advantage over the CD player, in that it can adjust to the student's tempo. I agree that the keyboard that we're using pales in comparison to volume with the speaker system, but the music is only a guide for the students who already know the songs by heart. Don't tell me that these students need to still be reminded at how "Twinkle Twinkle" sounds like.

In the second phase of the performance are the poems which deal directly with 12 months and seasons. Poems are supposed to be graceful, with words that stand on its own and without the accompanying sounds of music. Otherwise, there wouldn't be a difference between a poem or a song (ballad.) The poems are assigned to the students based on their level of English skill, so not everybody will be chanting the poems together. So in some poems, maybe 5 kids will go up or only 2 will perform. Miss TB hears the poems and hates the sounds from the kids. Instead of poems being graceful expressions of words. She wants them to be loud, mechanical chants of words that would be better served for directing instructions at a group of factory workers in an oil rig. She wants the 55 rpm mechanical beat playing in the background, so that the students can drone the words of the poem like robots. The students have the words down in their heart and already established a rhythm with themselves and the others. Yet, with 2 days left, Miss TB doesn't see the counter-productiveness in having to redoing the poems in an entirely different way. Have I also mentioned, how time consuming it is to record an entirely new beat that will synchronize with the words of all 12 poems, that vary in length and rhythm? Wouldn't that time be better served by actually working with the students more? No! Any method that Miss TB would consider to be the most logical and straightforward is not the right solution.

Preparing for Two Performances

2008-02-23T14:25:00.000-08:00

At the end of the Spring semester, March 8th and 15th, my kids will get to perform a piece in front of their parents. It's alot of work so far since both my schools have their own performance and I've been preparing these performances for over a month and a half. But the time is drawing near, and I'm hoping that the performances will go well since I take tremendous pride in my students who have been working very hard, to be able to showcase their talents and hard work.

At Eagle International, we have a 3 hour show to do that's going to be filled from top to bottom with various songs, poems, dances and a role play. The theme of the performance revolves around the four seasons of the year. It's a challenge to work with young children in synchronizing their singing so it is in harmony and the physical actions with each other. But in addition it is more of a challenge when the purpose of the performance is to push the students to speak English. Many of the poems and songs, have words that they don't know, so the children have an additional challenge of learning the words as well. However, you can't underestimate the powerful learning capacities of a child, still overwhelming me at times. The children can't rely on reading the words and memorizing them at home to know the poems and songs, since they haven't reached that level yet. Our roles as the teacher is to go through the words of the songs and wait for them to recite it back to us. Then we play some of the accompanying music and then we start to sing the songs. After about a day or two, the children get it. It's not perfect of course, as they struggle with a word or cannot fully pronounce the words correctly. But they learn to quickly associate the beat or rhythm of the songs with the accompanying word. Sometimes a day or two isn't enough for me to remember the entire song, as it can be embarrassing when the teachers fumble through our papers to find the words.

A month and a half of preparing these kids to do the poems and dances can be tiring and boring for the teachers, as it is very repetitive. But the kids really enjoy it, and as the teachers we have to sustain an enjoyment for the performance, otherwise the kids will be less motivated. One of the challenges is to be able to sustaining an enjoyment for these pieces, by trying various techniques, like making the poems into a memorization game or associating visuals with the words. It's a trial and error of experiments, as I am learning how to tap and connect into each child's learning processes. Using this experience will be beneficial in my education career, as I am heading towards educational research.

Their progress has jumped in leaps and bounds, as we have, even the babies that are 2 years and less to be able to follow with some of the words and actions. Sometimes, outside of the class, during lunch break, the kids will randomly cite the poems. With a week and a half left before the performance, I'm happy with the kid's progress, as it is near fluent. But once they're thrust onto the stage and standing in front of their parents, they may forget everything that they've learned for a month and a half of practice. Although I hate to think that it can happen, as a teacher, the thought does hang in the back of my mind.

One of the performances that I have full responsibility is the "Sleeping Beauty" play that I'm doin g with some of the older students. However, given the size of our class and required skill level of the play, the performance will be condensed to 7 scenes with 5 characters. If the poems and dance were tricky already in terms of getting the students standing in their assigned spaces, I knew that the play would be even more difficult since the bulk of the performance is requiring the students to stand and move in the right spots. However, I'm glad that my theatre experiences at UCR has helped me in directing the play. It also helps that my students are committed as well to the play, in that by the 3rd practice they already had their lines memorized. One of my students, Naoto, yesterday proclaimed that he wanted to be two characters, the Announcer and Merryweather the wizard since he already knew the lines to both roles. Although on stage it will look quite strange that a student will play two roles, I can't deprive him of the opportunity, if that's what he wants to do.

It's made my job alot easier now that the lines have been memorized, so they don't have to stand on stage while they fumble with their papers. I credit this with my theatre experience, where I pushed the kids to rely more on their instincts as the character, rather than the lines themselves. I wanted them to really listen to each other, so as the characters, they just listen and respond to each other, rather than just to recite their lines. Not only does it allow them to push the words into their mouth in case they forget, but it adds texture to the characters so they don't talk like robots.

Currently my mind is filled with all the technical preparations of making this play work like getting the costumes, scenery, music and props. It is going to be alot of work, since I'm doing this on my own. But regardless, I just have to show the kids everyday my commitment to the play, so that when the performance day comes, they can do it. As a teacher, that's one of the main duties, is to be a motivator. I never thought that my theatre experience would come to me full circle. I remember standing on stage during rehearsals as I struggled with my lines or execute the right blocking. But my director never stopped working with me, and trying to find ways for me to find motivations for my character. Now I'm here in the shoes of my director, but of course with a different situation, my actors being young children. However, the resolve is still the same, and that's pushing to make this role play work.

At the YMCA, the performances are limited to a maximum of 5 minutes, so I didn't have much of a choice but to select only two songs for my class to sing. These kids are much older than at Eagle International, but far less motivated to speak English. Sometimes, I think that they hate to try to speak English since they have no reason to think that it is a "cool" thing to do. So for them to do this performance where they have to say the English words along a familiar "lame" tune is going to be worse. For my advanced class, we're going to do the songs "This Old Man" and "On Top of Spaghetti." The words are still difficult for them to enunciate, let alone put them into their memory. And there's an additional challenge in that they won't perform the physical actions with the words as well. Like my experiences at Eagle, having the kids perform the physical actions with the words are key in associating the meaning of the word with a visual and also to memorize the words. However at the YMCA, because they are very native Japanese students and also they're older, it's embarrassing to do the physical actions. But as the teacher, I try to sustain an enjoyment for the poems and to push them to do it, even if they feel that the songs are not "cool." In my lower class, I'm having them do the song "The Bear Went Over the Mountain." For this class, the song is a bit easier for them to do since there's a more logical flow to the words. So I'm not too worried about this class compared to my advanced class. These performances will be tougher to pull off than my Eagle kids, since I'm truly alone in preparing this for my class. Also, although the performance is March 15th, a week later than Eagle's performance, I only get Saturdays to work with the kids. So I may have to spend the entire class time on Saturday just practicing these songs.

Overall, it's been an interesting, yet tiring experience in getting these kids to do a performance, that they're not exactly sure why they're doing it. But the only thing that, we as teachers can to, is to make them believe that they can do it. I have to sustain an enjoyment for the pieces, although it's for a very long time, so that they will believe in them as well. The minute that I lose an enjoyment in a song or poem, the less serious that the kids will show towards the performance.

Computerless

2008-02-15T05:32:00.000-08:00

Funny as it sounds, one of the things I appreciate about the teaching profession is that it does not require sitting in front of a computer. And in today's world, there are very few jobs that are, as the this post is aptly titled, computerless. It's a problem for me, and probably for many people, because I'm addicted to computers. In fact, it's not computers that I'm addicted to, it's the internet. Give me a computer, and I'll only be interested in typing a short blog or play around with the desktop wallpaper, then walk away from it. But if that computer is hooked on the internet, I can find myself online for 8 hours straight and still struggle to walk away from it. It is addicting since my brain is constantly thirsting for information, and I have all this access to information at the tip of my fingers. You may be asking yourself, what is he looking at on the internet that demands 8 hours of his life? But jokes aside, I assure that it is nothing vulgar. It's just that I have too many interests that it leads to too many directions. I like to check my Gmail about 8 times a day, then peruse through NBA news, then wrestling news, current affair news, music deals, then bargain deal news, and etc. etc. After that, I can do some blogging (as I am right now), facebooking, youtubing, and the list goes on and on.

At every job that I've had, requiring me to sit in front of a computer, the internet is an absolute killer for me to be 100% productive. I'll do some document editing for about a second, and then my brain is distracted by the need to check my email. Not just check my email once an hour, but I'd say every 15 minutes (and that's on a good day). It's a habit, and I've always struggled with it. I remember I used to temp at Stanford University doing data entry for future applicants. Given the prestige of the university, having the information like SSN, GPA's, SAT scores be entered 100% accurately into the school database for application review was an absolute priority. Our supervisors strictly told us to not web surf and would circle our computers to make sure that we weren't web surfing. But despite these repeated warnings, my brain would wander away from my task and I couldn't resist double clicking that blue and round IE icon. My web surfing had to be clandestine, as I mastered the art of autohiding the taskbar and then tapping Alt-tab to access the internet window. For a week and a half, I managed to weave myself around the watchful eyes of my supervisor as I checked my internet everytime her back was turned. But at one instance, when I left my guard and my supervisor checking my internet, I was fired the next morning.

If I can't control my habit of spending endless hours on the internet, it is a blessing (in disguise, I have to admit), that my job will require me not to be in front of the computer. At school, we do have a computer wired to the internet and it's usually available. But I'm constantly demanded in the classroom or at my desk where I have to use old fashioned pen and paper to prepare my lesson material. The positive thing for me to realize is that I'm actually content that each day I don't have to constantly check my emails or news. Certainly at any point of the day I do have the freedom to use the computer, but a greater voice demands my attention, and that's the students. There's nothing on the internet that requires more attention than the students who are dealing with real and immediate problems.

I enjoy teaching because I'm not sitting on a chair for 8 hours and in front of the computer. I'm out there, standing in front of the students, while I can jump and run wildly around the classroom. Not to say that I'm trying to offend you office workers out there, but if it is what's best for me, then I should appreciate this aspect of my profession.

Hope

2008-02-13T18:59:00.001-08:00

I`m lazy so forgive me if I couldn`t have chosen a better title for my post. But I`m here at the school, and it dawned on me that to get through the day requires just a slight ray of light. Yesterday, was a physically and emotionally delibitating day, as I wished I could simply leave the school and rest. But as I worked this morning, things have been looking up again. It`s hard to remind myself everyday that although, as teachers we go through some "down" days, there`s always going to be a new day. And today, all of the restlessness that I went through yesterday has been completely erased from my memory. I think the key is just to remember that the day will eventually end and that I will be able to go home each day. With that simple acknowledgement, it makes each day filled with a little bit of more hope.

The Virtue of Patience

2008-01-29T05:56:00.001-08:00

"You a teacher, but you have no patience."

These were the undistilled words that came from a good friend of mine. Hearing this from my friend was a shock because although she was a very honest person, she would rarely be this direct towards me, let alone anybody else. I remember that day, when we were getting a short bite at the coffee shop and I revealed my plans to go to Japan to teach English. This was during the first of what became my many contemplations about going to Japan to teach English. Her words did not ultimately kill my desire to pursue teaching, but it did question whether or not I was a fit to become a teacher.

After the conversation and completely dropping my teaching career to pursue my road to law, I accepted the reality that I was an impatient person. However as my goals shifted away from law, I wanted to capitalize on my interest in teaching and test if I had the patience to become a teacher.

Just as I arrived to Japan and attained my first job, I was already thrust into the wolves, or in other words, the elementary students. The first day, let alone the week, was the longest duration of time in my life. I couldn't comprehend how so much could occur in even one minute. Within that minute you can see one of the kids punching each other, while another baby is stuffing a block in their mouth and at the same time two other kids are climbing the shoe rack. I had to verbally remind the children to not to "do this or that." But not surprising, after my back had turned, the same "bad job" would be repeated. The little black kettle in my mind was filled with water and cooked on the stove. But as the heat continues to increase, the kettle overflowed uncontrollably and all patience was lost. Constantly, I would be running to each little child, and sometimes to the same person, to remind him/her not to do that. There seemed to be no light at the end of the tunnel, as I always questioned whether or not a child would ever form the cognitive thinking to determine whether or not jumping off the table would cause serious injuries.

But as time went by (and I don't mean to be clique), I became more and more patient. The change wasn't overnight, but I realized that sustaining my patience wasn't going to come from dwelling within my own desires, but put it out there for the kids. The beginning was frustrating because the shortness of my patience derived from the situation being too inconvenient or time consuming for me to do. But as my attitude shifted towards a service towards the children's needs rather than mine, my job became alot easier. Being more and more accustomed to the children also helped, as it allowed me to better anticipate a child's shortcomings and provide solutions to help them not to repeat the same disruptive behavior.

I've realized how important patience is in the learning process for a child. As I sit the children down in their seats to learn a simple lesson of possessive pronouns like "his" or "her", I realize that the information will not be instantly downloaded into their hard drives like a fiber optic connection. It can be frustrating for a human being, let alone a teacher, to teach the same lesson for a week, where the students still do not know how when to use "his" or "her" in a sentence when it's only a matter of determining the "subject" as male or female gender. But that's when patience needs to be derived outside the teacher's standards and expectations, and extracted from the child who is going at their own pace. And understanding the student's pace with patience is so important, which is why I implement some kind of closure to each and every one of my lesson (something I will discuss at length in another date.) While a lesson is always going to be difficult to absorb, a little positive needs to be implemented at the end of the day in order to validate their self-esteem.

I'm not advocating for the lessons to progress at a snail's pace, but the child should not feel rushed to learn something. It's very frustrating to watch one of my teachers at the school lash critically at the child when he/she doesn't get it. Even if it maybe just the first time that the child has encountered the lesson, she berates them if they aren't able to grasp the information quickly. Seeing that teacher in action and watching the student lose more motivation to learn the subject in fear of being berated again, makes me realize how important it is to sustain continued patience for the child. If the child is even taking baby steps to reach from point A to point B, I've learned to be content.